Wormholes

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Home.

bears 'n faggots

Wait you don't use local to trade wears and intel from one nomadic wormholer to the next? pffft that is why we can't have shinny things, everyone's first instinct is to shoot. I might have been a friendly orca trying to transport much needed PLEX to another fellow wormhole connected to your wormhole.

BTW: the loot fairy knows ... it will never drop good loots for low karma'd wh groups. That's why the best loot drops are from nullbears. They have the lowest karma of them all.

Round and fluffy

We strafe each other, circling the centerred of the obliterated plaza. Sweat, blood and oil drip down our muscles, especially pur glorious traps. "You know, Scott..." I say "You know what I must do..." the mountains spew flames and the ground rumbles a tumultuous growl. Lava splashes like firey rain all about the plaza. We are tired, out of breath from the countless battles we have suffered to this point. Blinks and flashes above us in the hazy, black sky as the Thanatos class carrier combats the fleets of pirates assailing it in low orbit. Scott rubs more oil into his pulsing, powerful pectorals. He sniffs the smokey air and laughs "I will stop you. You are no match for Scott Ormands, HR Director of the Desolate Order." Scott says. "More like..." I say, I hesitate a moment as I gain a stance "Bestolate Order..."

I see a flash of pain as mantra hits, Crouching Spider Striking Sweets. He stumbles back and I charge. Our muscular bodies collide, our oily pecks pulsing and throbbing with power and passion, our incredible sausage nipples curling and twisting over each other in a aggressive display of nipple fencing. The air shakes as our bodies crash into each other. We struggle to force the other to the ground. I slide my hands towards Scotts belt line and enter the inside of his pants. I curl my figers around it and he cries out "Noo!" He gasps. I smile at him as I grasp it firmly in my hands. I rip it from his pants and he falls powerless to the ground. The sky lights up as the Thanatos class Carrier warps off. I turn to Scotts limp body. "I'm sorry Scott...but I do what I must..." I say. "No...you musn't post it." He grunts as he falls lifeless, overtaken by the cancerous **** I was about to unleash on the EVEO forums. A tear runs down my cheek as I behold the glory of it all. This is what this had all been for. My final and most glorious shitpost. I look to the sky as I hear the angered screaming.

Its Lenard in his Hyperspacial Ares.



EDIT: This is how I would accurately describe all my interactions with my corp mates

Thunder rumbles over head, the ground growls and shakes and ash flutters through the hot air. The black smoky clouds break and the bright pink sun breaks through the red sky. ISD Ezwal steps onto the shattered plaza, Scott's manly body just as broken as the stones and rubble around him. ISD Ezwal kneels beside Scott, who lifts a finger to the fiery mountain beyond. "He's..." he coughs, blood spatters out from his mouth "He's going...to...to post it..." ISD Ezwal lifts his eyes to Mount EVEO. He takes Scotts fat yaoi hands in his own. "Tell me Scott" he says "Tell me what it said" Scott grunts and cries out as the memory of the post returned to his mind, his skin erupts into cancerous boils which pop and burst with liquid memes. The danknest of the meme sears ISD Ezwal's flesh as it splashes across the plaza floor. "You must stop it!" Scott cries "You must stop the **** post! It will doom us all!" ISD Ezwal grips his hammer and grimaces to the mouth of the volcanic Mount EVE "Do not fear Scott Ormands, HR director of the Desolate Order, you will be avenged."

Nitris stood there, staring into the bright maw of the volcano. Lava erupted and bubbled just a few feet below. In his hands lied the thing, who most glorious of shitposts. He held it up and beheld it a moment. "You will not post it!" a powerful voice came from behind. ISD Ezwal stood, dirty and stained with ashe and sweat, with the legendary Hammer of the Character Bazaar Post from that One Time. "It is too late!" Nitris cackles "You cannot stop me! I will submit the **** post and you, and DO, and all of the EVEO forums will be kill by sperg!" Nitris lifts his head and lets out a howling laugh to the dark sky as a bushy handle bar mustache sprouts just over his upper lip. ISD Ezwal grinds his teeth "I'm sending you back to Factional Warfare you dirty scrubsickle" ISD Ezwal charges up the mountain as Battle of the Heroes from Star Wars Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith plays. Nitris rips his mustache from his lips and raises it as he rushes towards the forum mod.


Sparks fly as their weapons clash, the mountain lets out a furious below as mustache clashes against hammer time and time again. Ezwal forces Nitris to the ground who rolls away just as the Moderator lands its blow. The hammer breaks clean through the rock floor, lava explodes through the hole as Nitris regains his footing. He opens his arms in a challenging display "Come!" he laughs. ISD Ezwal leaps over the torrents of lava gushing from rocks. Using his momentum, Ezwal brings his hammer up with undeniable force. Nitris' mustache comes up to block but it was too late. Nitris' body glides through the air before crashing to the gravelly floor. Black rocks shower down across his weak body as he struggles to gain his breath again. He throws himself to his feet and stumbles, coughing bloody and forcing his jaw back into place. Mustache outstretched he regains his stance. Nitris lunges at Ezwal, who quickly parries the incoming blow. With blinding speed Nitris ducks and dodges all around the ISD, landing cut after cut all across Ezwal's body. Ezwal spins, knocking Nitris' ankles from under him. Nitris looks up to see the Avatar Class Titan of CCP Guard in low orbit, Guard's face replacing the usual design on the front of the Titan. The Doomsday charges and fires, ISD Ezwal lifts his Hammer to the sky where the Doomsday strikes. The legendary hammer absorbs the full blow of the Titan's weapon, black pebbles and boulders explode in all directions as the hammer charges. Nitris tumbles away along with the rocks and stands up some distance away from the blast.

Yellow lightning hums and zaps all around ISD Ezwal's body, his hammer now sparking with power. Ezwal opens his eyes, his iris' now glowing a brilliant, god-like gold. "You will go no further." Ezwal grips his hammer "I am CCP incarnate!" Nitris runs his fingers along the length of his mustache. "No..." he says "My sperg is too dank to stopped by your kind." ISD Ezwal screams as his hammer comes crashing down, lava rushes over the mouth of the mountain, gold rays shoot from where the blow lands. The ground shakes and light bursts from the cracks. Nitris rushes Ezwal in the moment, landing a quick, sharp slash across Ezwal's chest. Nitris turns mid leap and brings the mustache down across Ezwal's back. Nitris lands and stabs his mustache into Ezwal's back, ISD Ezwal turns and smashes the hilt of his hammer into Nitris' face. Nitris stumbles, his foot lands on his post. ISD Ezwal chuckles as he approaches, hammer held over shoulder. "You don't understand..." Nitris pleads "I have to do this! Every day I live in the cancerous sperg of my thoughts, now is my only chance to tell them all! Show them all what it is to be me!" Ezwal screams as his hammer comes crashing down, Nitris grabs his post and lifts it before Ezwal's eyes. Ezwal grunts, stunned as bile fills his cheeks. His muscles locked and his eyes began smoking. It was too late, ISD Ezwal was Dickbutt. The memes he had just experienced overloaded his senses and caused an existential crisis, forcing him to become a dank meme.

Nitris coughs and falls limp, breathless and tired. He swallows a breath the hot air before rolling back to his feet. He crawls to the mouth of Mount EVEO, lava dripping and spewing through small holes. Nitris grips his post, he had remember it all, every moment leading here. He remembered his brother, his father, his sisters, remember those that betrayed him, those that save him, those that led him to victory. This was the end, all of EVE would fall before what they had created; a cancerous ball of sperg that grew to powers that could not be controlled even by the CCP imbued ISD Ezwal. Nitris lifted the post over his head and threw it into the fiery pools of liquid rock, submitting the post to the EVEO forums. He collapsed to the ground and closed his eyes as lava burst over the edge, enveloping him in its warm embrace.

Jess wins, you can all go home now.

Dead, Irrelevant, but...


Well-dressed.