Intergalactic Summit

Illustrious Scout Master of Luminaire Obsidian Eagle Scouts Lodge #17,

I, Bourbon Limoges, Obsidian Eagle Scout Third Class and designated recreational scion of the Limoges Ceramics and Chocolate family dynasty, fear an age of perpetual darkness threatens all Mankind!

His Excellency, the Doctor affectionately known as "Borkstar," shows signs of Yan Jungian Replicant infestation. This tragic development came to my attention when His Excellency the Doctor began exhibiting personality quirks consistent with those of Malthus Kador in Operation: Gris Incroyabul I, III, and VIII ("Lost Covenant", "The God Hole", and "Falling Sky" respectively).

Like Malthus Kador, the Doctor was a brilliant scientist who plugged one plug too many and allowed Yan Jungian infiltrators to insert iconic neural pathogens between his synaptic synapses.

These personality quirks include, inter alia and in most pertinent parts:

1) grandiose paranoia

2) bipolar manic depression

3) speaking in tongues

4) inexplicable knowledge of unspeakable rites practiced in unmentionable places

5) telekinesis

His Excellency the Doctor has infiltrated the facility known as Site One and contaminated the Sebiestor inhabitants with Isomorphonic Replicant Neuroviral Attack Vectronics. He manifests a peculiar obsession with his blood, frequently insisting that others "test" it. My extensive experience playing patient through most of my Primary Middle Secondary Ecole career, just recently brought to successful matriculation, leads me to believe that His Excellency seeks to spread his Yan Jungian Isomorphonic Replicant contamination to other researchers through this blood.

As The Michelangelo Grimoire teaches, no coincidences exist.

Consequently, it is worth noting a Blood Raider madman recently descended into a tomb without paid escort, and was alternatively strangled and twisted apart by a reanimated Sani Sabik golem. We may reasonably conclude that there is a conspiracy between bloody death cults and the Yan Jungian Assassins Clans of Tau Ceti.

Tangentially, I have drawn attention to the tragic, yet mysterious, sacrifice of thirteen Matari priestesses toward the reanimation of said golem by introducing a line of specialty chocolates. Quafe has enthusiastically agreed to distribute these through a shell corporation organized appropriately under Matari law.

The relevant Program Manager for Impetus Historix Spectacumentary Reel was initially resistant to the number thirteen in my proposal for two documentaries related to this specialty line of chocolates. He insisted there could only be one priestess for each of the Matari tribes, as presented in O:GI VII "Tinker Tailor Sister Spy," and was unwilling to countenance a miniseries exploring six additional previously unknown tribes. However, following an apres lunch whirlpool intercourse debrief and a formal dinner bacchanal complete with Achuran meditation spheres, I convinced him that the Amarr are the lost Minmatar tribes and that the Reclaiming should more accurately be characterized as "Nonconsensual Reunification."

Although it is true that Brutor, Vherokior, Sebiestor, Thukkor, Nefantor, Starkmor, Krusual, Amarr, Ni-Kunni, Khanid, Udorian, and Eulorian only add up to twelve, a single lost Matari tribe is acceptable to Impetus.

With great humility, I therefore submit the identification of one (1) traitor to all Mankind, development of the Lost Covenant Specialty Chocolate Line, production of one Impetus miniseries called The Thirteen, and production of a second Impetus miniseries called Lost Tribe of the Lost Covenant, as deeds meeting the statutory requirements for my Badge du Triumphe. Furthermore, I am prepared to appear in my official Obsidian Eagle Scout Luminaire Half Sock to demonstrate innate physical beauty at any time.

Submissively,

Bourbon Limoges
Obsidian Eagle Scout Third Class

As Scoutmaster myself, my understanding is that Badge du Triumphe projects are required by the Obsidion Eagle Scout Handbook to provide a service of benefit to the community. Could you explain what benefit these achievements provide to the wider community of New Eden?

I'll also need to see a thorough demonstration of skill in tying all required knots, as well as a list of your Merit Badges (At least 23 required), and documentation that you have participated in a Leadership position within your Lodge for at least 3 months since achieving your Third Class rank.

Suddenly, that silly petition to close the IGS makes a little bit more sense to me.

1) grandiose paranoia

2) bipolar manic depression

3) speaking in tongues

4) inexplicable knowledge of unspeakable rites practiced in unmentionable places

5) telekinesis


Seems like a normal day for the esteemed Dr. Borkstar. From what I have seen on the IGS.

wut?

His Excellency presents a pleasant facade to the world, but when you chip away at his story, he confesses to such things as planning to destroy Eram with Isogen-5 warheads stolen from their legal, if perhaps also genocidal, owners.

In a remarkable stroke of good fortune, the Sisters of EVE have sent me, Bourbon Limoges, Obsidian Eagle Scout Third Class, to Hek in pursuit of a terrorist. Incroyabul, I think! Both His Excellency the Doctor and Malthus Kador are terrorists!
Arriving in Hek, I was not expecting it to look so much like Hek. But then it hit me! Well, first the muscular Krusual security guard hit me.

The Republic is less intimate in its greetings than the Federation.

However, after I recovered from my failure to culturally exchange, it then additionally hit me I was only about twenty jumps from Doril, where Malthus Kador reprogrammed the gate complex to find the God Hole facility somewhere inside Divinity's Rim! Surely there are reserves of Isogen-5 in the ancient God complex!

I must locate the facility so that the Obsidian Eagles can secure it from the likes of His Excellency the Doctor!

After spending a few hours with a partially inebriated Sebiestor gentleman who (by remarkable good fortune) identified the risks of an inexplicable shaking in the floor near my observation perch, and insisted that we retreat to his escape pod just in case the station imploded, I convinced him of the risks presented by the God Hole and His Excellency the Doctor. The Sebiestor gentleman agreed to begin construction of a special listening device, and I acquired a Velator equipped with a codebreaker.

I then downloaded some star gate tracking cookies from Galnet (used primarily by Obsidian Eagle Scouts to monitor freight traffic along the Amarr Jita trunk). Modifying the tracking cookies after consulting my Obsidian Eagle Scout Hacking Handbook, I set off for Doril, following the trail of the God Hole!

I expected some difficulties - and perhaps an introduction to autoerotic teleportation.

However, neither Sendaya nor Doril showed any hostile presence - or really, any presence at all. Although many girlfriends have questioned the timing of Bourbon Limoges, last night, the timing of Bourbon Limoges was without flaw.

Well, aside from the twenty or thirty large glowing space balls floating around the Doril gate structure. That flaw caused me some consternation. Frightening as they were to look at, however, the large balls did not shoot at my codebreaker equipped Velator. This allowed me to closely orbit the station, which in turn allowed me to upload my modified tracking cookies. It was just like the dramatic tension that permeates so many of Etienne de la Crux's hacking scenes!

Only this time, it was I, Bourbon Limoges, high sch... Obsidian Eagle Scout Third Class!

It being a long trip back to Hek, and somewhat curious as to the intensity of Brutor-assisted autoerotic teleportation, I chose to spend the night and this morning in the pleasantly named "Salvation Angels" bed and breakfast. The Salvation Angels cook a wonderful blackened rabbit lentil stew which pairs nicely with a stiff merlot without need of producing artificial identification or bribery. Moreover, their warm oil and soap bubble bathhouses offer remarkably clean and thorough service. I have never had the spaces between my toes treated so affectionately!

Bourbon Limoges anticipates that departure from Doril will provide an opportunity to experience the aforementioned autoerotic teleportation. Prior to that, however, I see the Salvation Angels offer several hands-on educational opportunities regarding knot tying. In this last few hours remaining to me before the next hours begin, I will therefore take advantage of these opportunities so that...

...I'm in Doril. Mother, I told you I was flying to Doril. It's a star. Well, if you knew it was a star why did you ask? I AM NOT BEING SMART! MOM! NOT NOW! THIS IS ABOUT A WORLD OF PERPETUAL DARKNESS!

...yes, fine. I will call Honoraria and have sex with her tomorrow. Yes, I know her father is a Senator. No, I have not... MOTHER! NOT NOW! MOOOOOOOOM!

Oh, gosh darn it, I left my buzzing Iteron replica remote in Hek. I wonder if the Salvation Angels have any buzzing... Oh. Mon. Dieu.

A lot of people "plan" or dream of such lofty goals.

Few, if any, actually have the capability to make it a reality.

As someone who assisted the Doctor in his search for Isogen I can say first hand that I don't believe he has the capability. If indeed his intentions are evil at all. Though his dedication is admirable and it keeps him busy I suppose.

Speaking about searching Isogen-5, is it that difficult to find you, ma'am?

It's not too difficult.

Just find a class five with static class five and keep rolling until you hit Atlas.

His Excellency must not find Isogen-5! Unless by Isogen-5 you mean the Mlles. with remarkable jaw lines. If you do not mean the Mlles. with remarkable jaw lines, His Excellency the Doctor intends to load the highly volatile Isogen-5 into the (De)Construction Logistics Platform and accelerate it at the star! His Excellency the Replicant asserts that doing so will blow the star up, taking the exploded status of Eram from 0% to 100% quite possibly in advance of the first second that any observer could possibly observe.

The proof may be assembled from His Excellency's comments on The Summit forum.

It is fortunate that his planned abduction of the Yan Jungian Replicant at Site One met with failure through the quick thinking of those wearing white hats.