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Drifters - Are they too alien to comprehend ?
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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
#1 - 2015-03-08 20:58:27 UTC
The Drifter Menace has appeared in many news stories over the past few weeks, as their reign of terror against the rest of the cluster begins to unfold.

Menacing !

However, unlike previous reigns of terror by other groups, this latest cluster-menacing threat is unique in one particular aspect.

Despite the news coverage, not a single individual has come forward to Gutter Press, claiming to have been abducted/impregnated/both by the Drifters !

Curious !

When Tibus Heth started the Militia Wars, thousands of individuals came forward, claiming to have been impregnated by Tibus Heth, or other senior Caldari figures.

During Sansha's Nation War of Resurgence, thousands of individuals came forward to claim that clouds of Sansha Nanites had resulted in them falling pregnant with Master Kuvakei, or other True Citizen's children.

When it was revealed that there are a number of Sentient Rogue Drones that occupy positions not unlike those of Pirate Officers, thousands of individuals came forward to claim abduction and or impregnation by the Rogue Drones.

While many of these claims were delusional, several had some truthiness to them.

But, some weeks after their first appearance, not one individual has contacted Gutter Press to claim impregnation by Drifters.

Shocking !


Is the Drifter psychology so alien ? Are they so incomprehensible that Rogue Drones appear more human ? Do the Drifters defy all comprehension ?

Gutter Press. Investigations into topics the Scope doesn't cover !

Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
Thea Isotalo
Doomheim
#2 - 2015-03-08 21:35:06 UTC
Drifters:

Better technology = better birth control?

Or maybe we're just not their "type?"


BRCE: Mission Statement!
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#3 - 2015-03-09 00:02:06 UTC
Thea Isotalo wrote:
Drifters:

Better technology = better birth control?

Or maybe we're just not their "type?"




I don't think they are even capable of having a sex drive.

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Blue spy
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#4 - 2015-03-09 00:33:28 UTC
Dr. Borkstar reportedly got close and personal with a drifter A.I not too long ago. While their motives might be as mysterious as their origins; what is apparent is that you wouldn't want to be the ex of one.

Perhaps the Gutter Press could interview the Dr. to see how the relationship is progressing?
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#5 - 2015-03-09 01:04:36 UTC
I was inappropriately touched by a drifter once, but I told it that it had to buy be a couple of drinks and dinner before it could get second base.... it left after that.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#6 - 2015-03-09 01:17:33 UTC
Claudia Osyn wrote:
I was inappropriately touched by a drifter once, but I told it that it had to buy be a couple of drinks and dinner before it could get second base.... it left after that.


Do you mean the Jovian-ish Drifter or the street drifter?

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#7 - 2015-03-09 01:22:48 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
Claudia Osyn wrote:
I was inappropriately touched by a drifter once, but I told it that it had to buy be a couple of drinks and dinner before it could get second base.... it left after that.


Do you mean the Jovian-ish Drifter or the street drifter?

Yes.

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Corraidhin Farsaidh
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2015-03-09 14:37:42 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:


I don't think they are even capable of having a sex drive.


If they do have a sex drive it's most likely unfeasibly fast and finsihed too soon with a large weapon...
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#9 - 2015-03-09 17:05:19 UTC  |  Edited by: Aria Jenneth
Muck Raker wrote:
But, some weeks after their first appearance, not one individual has contacted Gutter Press to claim impregnation by Drifters.

Shocking !

If true, that is interesting-- not in what it says about the Drifters, but what it says about the way we react to them.

If not even disturbed individuals are having these sorts of ... visions ... it seems the Drifters are maybe fuel for nightmares, but not for, um, forgive me, fantasies (even the ones that are also nightmares).

There's something so horrendously unsexy about them that it stops even subconscious ... ah, reactions ... of that sort ... before they get out of the gate.

Which, if true, is pretty remarkable.
U'tah Arareb
Doomheim
#10 - 2015-03-09 17:10:08 UTC
Corraidhin Farsaidh wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:


I don't think they are even capable of having a sex drive.


If they do have a sex drive it's most likely unfeasibly fast and finsihed too soon with a large weapon...



Forgive me I had a thought about Men and much smaller weapons...

This is typical Gutter press tripe...
Thea Isotalo
Doomheim
#11 - 2015-03-09 18:20:23 UTC  |  Edited by: Thea Isotalo
Blue spy wrote:
Dr. Borkstar reportedly got close and personal with a drifter A.I not too long ago...



STOP!

SILENCE!

I am going to hurl on you, then him, then you again.

Just....don't...



EDIT:

My apologies. That was unprofessional of me.

But really...just...don't.

Please.

BRCE: Mission Statement!
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#12 - 2015-03-09 19:14:01 UTC
Thea Isotalo wrote:
Blue spy wrote:
Dr. Borkstar reportedly got close and personal with a drifter A.I not too long ago...



STOP!

SILENCE!

I am going to hurl on you, then him, then you again.

Just....don't...



EDIT:

My apologies. That was unprofessional of me.

But really...just...don't.

Please.


... okay.

Ah. Should I take this as evidence for my hypothesis above? Or ... is this something else?
Corraidhin Farsaidh
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2015-03-09 22:27:13 UTC
U'tah Arareb wrote:
Corraidhin Farsaidh wrote:
Elmund Egivand wrote:


I don't think they are even capable of having a sex drive.


If they do have a sex drive it's most likely unfeasibly fast and finsihed too soon with a large weapon...



Forgive me I had a thought about Men and much smaller weapons...

This is typical Gutter press tripe...


I always aim my comments at the intended audience. I aimed low and clearly hit lower! Don't be reading the gutter press and expecting high-brow commentry.

I do hope that somewhere under all that cyber-rubber the Drifters have a sense of humour...
Graelyn
Aeternus Command Academy
#14 - 2015-03-10 02:30:11 UTC
"A Drifter Ate My Baby."

Cardinal Graelyn

Amarr Loyalist of the Year - YC113
Elmund Egivand
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#15 - 2015-03-10 03:02:42 UTC
Aria Jenneth wrote:
Muck Raker wrote:
But, some weeks after their first appearance, not one individual has contacted Gutter Press to claim impregnation by Drifters.

Shocking !

If true, that is interesting-- not in what it says about the Drifters, but what it says about the way we react to them.

If not even disturbed individuals are having these sorts of ... visions ... it seems the Drifters are maybe fuel for nightmares, but not for, um, forgive me, fantasies (even the ones that are also nightmares).

There's something so horrendously unsexy about them that it stops even subconscious ... ah, reactions ... of that sort ... before they get out of the gate.

Which, if true, is pretty remarkable.


I do fantasize about Drifters though. I fantasize about ripping out all the cybernetics out of their bodies and reverse-engineering them. I also fantasize over tearing into the bowels of their battleships and ripping out all the power routers, superconductive layering, their warp drive, their propulsion systems, their, well, everything!

Just look at that tech! Look at it! Look at all that delicious tech! Tell me nobody is going to want to take a wrench and a blowtorch to it! I know I will! I know I want to! I know I am aching to! All that technology is calling for me to dismantle them piecemeal and study every single component, put them together and see how they all work, then replicate, optimise, optimise some more!

A Minmatar warship is like a rusting Beetle with 500 horsepower Cardillac engines in the rear, armour plating bolted to chassis and a M2 Browning stuck on top.
Aria Jenneth
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#16 - 2015-03-10 03:27:55 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
I do fantasize about Drifters though. I fantasize about ripping out all the cybernetics out of their bodies and reverse-engineering them. I also fantasize over tearing into the bowels of their battleships and ripping out all the power routers, superconductive layering, their warp drive, their propulsion systems, their, well, everything!

Just look at that tech! Look at it! Look at all that delicious tech! Tell me nobody is going to want to take a wrench and a blowtorch to it! I know I will! I know I want to! I know I am aching to! All that technology is calling for me to dismantle them piecemeal and study every single component, put them together and see how they all work, then replicate, optimise, optimise some more!

... ah.

Um. "Muck Raker," does your paper have any record of people writing in reports of [having molested/having been molested by/having impregnated/having been impregnated by] a Drifter ship?
Claudia Osyn
Non-Hostile Target
Wild Geese.
#17 - 2015-03-10 05:16:44 UTC
Do you think Drifters come with a vibrate mode?

A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
Quattras Peione
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#18 - 2015-03-11 12:30:07 UTC
Elmund Egivand wrote:
I don't think they are even capable of having a sex drive.


I read those last two words in Aura's voice. "Sex drive active."

Dr. Quattras Alvar Peione

No, I'm not that kind of doctor.
KaRa DaVuT
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#19 - 2015-03-11 14:35:15 UTC
They too are from flesh and blood. They can bleed. They can explode like other ships.

Do not let them intimidate you. Kill them on sight..

Holiness is in right action and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What God desires is in your heart and on your mind... And what you decide to do every day, makes you - not your race - a good man - or not.