Intergalactic Summit

So I need a little help.

First, a little background.

About two weeks ago I received from an odd fellow an ancient tomb titled "How to Celebrate Chisma"...or at least I think that's what it said, the cover and is in disrepair and a lot of the pages are worn and hard to read. Anyway, I started to read this book, and was taken aback by it's claim that this strange holiday, Chisma, used to be widely celebrated by humans going back further then the memory banks in my computer could calculate given it's historical database. It claimed it was a fun, joy filled time for people. And since I'm all about bringing joy to other people, I made the choice to put some of these practices to use.

MUCH TO MY REGRET.

While at the Civil Court Station at Hibi, I took the first suggestion to practice: Egg Smog. According to the book, ingesting egg smog brings a certain festive spirit to people. The problem was there was only a very vague description on how to make this egg smog. Nutmeg, milk, and eggs was about all I could muster out of the worn page. So, I bought tons of each ingredient, and had them mixed. Since smog is a gas of sorts, I figured this is how the ancients must have employed this joy inducing mixture. I hired some men (I still have some contacts from my merc days) to inject this liquid in gas form into the station's environmental control system. I'm not sure where I went wrong in my calculations, but the egg smog mixture enveloped the station, and I can tell you, joy was the last thing on every one's mind when they were choking in the stuff.

I felt really bad. I had to make up for things. This book HAD to have some sort of remedy. I thought I found it. The next readable page described...well, all I could make out from the page was some sort of 'Mule Tide Spirit'. So, okay, mules. I could handle mules. I consulted an animal expert who said that mules were hard working animals that some cultures still use to do hard labor. I never even seen one of these animals before, but if they were so helpful to humanity, surely they could bring joy. So I bought a herd of these things, and released them in the station. Mule tide is what I gave them. Yet, again, joy is not what I brought. Turns out mules are anything but friendly. And when there's a stampede of them moving down the passageways of a station...oy...you can see where I'm going with this, right?

I got a warning from the Amarr authorities. No more 'pranks'. Amarrians can sometimes be kind of....stiff...you know what I mean? I like them and all, but they hardly take anything with a grain of salt. I decided that what they needed at this station was some good old fashioned romance. And this book provided a sure fire way to make that happen.

Missile-TOW.

So your supposed to suspend these TOW missiles from doorways. The sight of these things is supposed to induce romance. So I contacted an old arms dealer of mine, purchased about a hundred TOW Missiles (not as effective as the laser guided missile systems, but cheap let me tell you). I then hired a team to go around station to hang these missiles at every hatchway possible. It didn't go well. The team was arrested, and I received a summons to court.

To make matters even worse, I have about two hundred metric tons of some horrible baked stuff called 'fruit cake' I was going to distribute around the galaxy. In addition, my idea of a mounted 'festivus' pole on my ships was rejected by my commanding officer. I'm a little at a loss. This Chrisma seemed like the real deal. Maybe even a way to bring enough peace and joy to the world to make us realise that in the end, we're all each others brothers and sisters. But no matter how hard I tried, I just could not make things work. I'm looking for suggestions. Please?

Ah, I was taken aback from your question. I forget that not everyone is Civire! Well, in MY culture, nothing says sexy like an anti-tank weapon. Besides, it's not like they came with the launcer (you need the launcher to activate the DL-44 TOW...unlike the MZ-109B which will blow in your face if you even look at in funny!). I figured that the romance of such a weapon would put a little zing zang boom in who ever was under it, thus producing the desired result.

And a shrub? Really? That just isn't logical.

There is certainly some pattern going on.

Ever notice how capsuleers are issued promotional items or "gifts" this time of year?

And it seems like the pattern of time in space changes too, for some reason - some will be in space more, others less.


What is it about this time of year? I suspect there is some ancient pattern of events, long forgotten, that is so ingrained it's a part of our genetics.

The only thing I can think of is how a planet rotates on its axis. This would result in a very long day, and a very short one - they call that "solstice". Planets in single-star systems will have weather patterns based on this.

There must have been a set of strong traditions around one of these solstices, or maybe both, and it for the most part "feels" spiritual.

For that latter point, I expect that some dusty tome in Amarr hands might have some insight.