Intergalactic Summit

Hi!
The Duster everyone hates is here..i would like to share with you all some tests i ran on one of theses strange Drifter structures i found in the Laah System

Now i have took the time to come up with a solid name for this structure and came up with the name of "Kayo" Given how both he structure and the name are beautiful

So lets begin


TEST ONE - EXPLOSIVE COAT

The explosive coat test is as it sounds..coat the structure in explosives and see what happens....

this is the first and most..aggressive test.. but what what i do know from this is that 6 billion remote explosives all going off at one time did not damage the structure...i did however bring it to 99% shields...so we need to step it up to 7 billion next time...

STATUS - POSSIBLE SUCCESS


TEST TWO - WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON'T HURT ME...NO MORE

This is when i fell in love with the structure...in a attempt to communicate with it or the battleships i tried to serenade the Drifters...i got in a hazard suit and made my way on top of the hull of my Warbarge....i could not find a window to toss a rock out so it would had been hard to either get the attention of the Battleships or the structure..so i went ahead with he man meat of the test.. i held up a old Brutor BoomBox over my head and began playing the "What is love song?" while wearing a old school black leather jacket and with my hair all gelled up..

sadly there was no response from either the battleships and the structure...mainly because i realized Sound can't travel though space

STATUS - FAILURE


TEST THREE - BUMPING

This was the first test that was focused ont he battleships...This is also were i named one of the battleships "Ryloth"

The Drifters are known for their aggression so i attempted to communicate with aggression...So burned towards him with my Warbarge and bumped him.

The Drifter was not amused and retaliated by bumping my warbarge

The battle was on...

He bumped me for a total of 2km!, i turned around to return the favor by bumping him in the nose and bumping him downwards for a good 4km, i then took the advantage to bump him down more by bumping him from behind

But Ryloth was skillful and managed to quickly turn himself around and bump me head on with his battleship sending me flying in the other direction...we both starred at each other for a solid 20 minutes before we nodded respectfully towards one another and went on about our merry days


STATUS - SUCCESS?

TEST FOUR - SAMMICH

after all the tests i grew up quite the hunger...but at the same time i felt that the Drifters were also hungry...so i went out to the hull of my warbarge and offered a Sammich to Ryloth..he burned away from me...so i then offered the sammich to kayo...she refused

i then considered that maybe they don't understand this is food?

So i carefully rubbed the sammich on the hull of Ryloth in a attempt to show him how its harmless and in fact delicious...but then i noticed how small he sandwich was to the vessel...so i ordered a total of 70 million Chicken sammishs to the test site...then me and my warbarge crew began rubbing the sandwiches all over Ryloth and Kayo in a attempt to show them our world's food...

STATUS - ???????


well theses are my findings...Please tell me what you think and perhaps give me some ideas to try out next...

after several hours...it seems Ryloth showed no interest in either male dancers ir female dancers. ..in fact he blew up the array and killed about 3 dancers..everyone else was thankfully rescued

not a bad idea....

Are you sure you used the optimal amount of foam? There should be enough to make it functional, but too much makes the experience hard to enjoy fully. Especially make sure to not cover all the camera drones and windows at the same time.
How much of the sandwiches was removed?

Well everyone else seems otobe losing their **** about them on IGs...

Everyone is swinging their **** around with their research and their theories to show off so i thought i would join

But as i continued i learned that i am actually very interested in the Drifters...i want to communicate with them and everyone's approach just seems cold and soulless with no real heart to it...so i decided to take a "different" approach in my attempts



Speaking of which...



TEST FIVE - GET OVER HERE!


In this test we took the idea Albizu Zateki gave us in his reply that seemed somewhat sarcastic...ahem

But we tried to idea of using tractor beams to drag the station...sadly we can't even activate the tractor beams on the station so...****

STATUS - FAILURE

Correct. However most capsuleers are unaware of Operational Security, I've no doubt any future adaptations or research openly released to the public will just go to further any hostile intent...

Let us continue to wave our arms about in an unorganized, unsecured fashion as that is what we capsuleers are very adept at so long as something is destroyed in the end.

TEST SIX - PIN STRIPES

So when we returned to the Research site we discovered that Ryloth brought along 2 friends this time..We know it is Ryloth due to the one mark we made on his hull..plus his ship matches the signature code in our database

But theses other two seem to be the new guardians here...So we decided to also name them

"Nou" and "Duncan"

We also then at the same time considered the idea of perhaps marking them to identify them more easily..so we carefully decied to paint them..in space

we gather thousands of units of spray cans and came up with designs based of....What personalities we noticed....everyone ended up being white and soulless..blank

So we just made up some design...

[Ryloth] - We started with Ryloth to show how non-lethal we are to Nou and Duncan...Given how i believe Ryloth is beginning to trust me...(That or he does not care about me) we figured he would be perfect!


We gave Ryloth a Coat of red with White pin stripes running along the sides..a simple yet bold design for Ryloth

Strangely enough it seems he is 120 m/s faster after we applied the paint...

[Nou] - We then went over to Nou..she burned away from us as we tried to approach her but we eventuality caught up and began our work

We gave her a cute Pink paint job given how she was so shy about us..something was so sweet and innocent about her when she did that....Then she killed a miner after we applied the paint so..**** i guess she is not that shy after all..Drifters are ******* weird...

[Duncan] - Duncan actually shot at us a few times.....sadly he can't shoot humanoids floating in space for **** and eventaully gave up..

We then came up with a badass Black and yellow two tone design for him given how ******* G he is



STATUS - **** IF I KNOW

If I gain thier trust and manage to talk to them I could form a alliance with them and the state, then lash them out on the federation

I like to think of myself as a self appointed ambassador....

I must have died (again?) and gone to science heaven!

Your efforts seem inspired if essentially fruitless. I wonder if you have considered holding them down with webs and disruptors and showering them with fireworks and crystallized water I hear that can have some serious mental effects it might amuse them or traumatise them for life.

P.S. Sorry Foley