Crime & Punishment

That's right, this is another terrible thread by another terrible mercenary corporation.

First, here (needed to shorten the link due to the forums being screwy) is our primary Griefwatch killboard that also includes our campaigns, and here is the BattleClinic version.

Now, a little background. YARN is, first and foremost, a small mercenary outfit. Started in 2008 by a few people who wanted some variety from standard 0.0 warfare, this corporation focuses on paid contracts, and pvp for fun and profit when good work isn't available. We're pretty active, especially when we have stuff to shoot. YARN has also been listed in the MERC Contracts channel for a few years, with no negative feedback to its name.

What can we absolutely do for you?

- Empire wars. Whatever the goal, this is our bread and butter.
- Assassinations. We have the capability to suicide-gank most targets, using in- and/or out-of-corp characters.
- Logistics. You need RR? We have it; armor or shield. Boosters too.
- Training. We can help militarize your corporation with fitting and tactical advice.
- Provide full anonymity. Even if you don't hire us, any job details you reveal to us will be kept confidential.
- Never renege. If you hire us, we won't bat for the other side until we finish our end of the bargain with you, no matter how sweet an offer we get. Our trustworthiness also extends to any ransoms we offer outside of work.
- Special requests. Mercenary work is, after all, a subset of the service industry.

What can we probably do for you?

- Low/null/wormhole work. We're not afraid to go there (most likely using at least some out-of-corp characters), but it has to be worth the time. Low/null/wormhole jobs are also likely to be more expensive, and/or require some kind of deposit to negate potential traps. To be honest, as a fairly small organization, we've never been approached for a serious null-sec job, because the pvp scene is obviously different over there. That said, I've lived in null since 2004 until Apocrypha came out, and some members have been there even longer. We're not going to decline a job if it's viable for the numbers we can field.
- POS bashing/repairing. This is simply a matter of YARN members being willing to devote themselves to a boring activity at any given time. A small/medium non-****-star or a customs office should be quick enough to not make someone go postal. A hardened DG tower...probably not.

How much do we charge?

That depends entirely on the job. The riskier the job, the more we will quote you. For a standard war, anywhere from the lower end of a few hundred million ISK, to upwards of a billion per week. For a suicide-gank, we will charge for the gear used, plus a premium on the sec status lost. We usually go by a rough estimate of the time we'd invest in a job for any war/logistics/training job we accept. If we fail to score any kills in a war contract, we'll return some or all of the fee. Do keep in mind, however, that a lack of kills usually means that the targets refuse to play, and doesn't mean that we don't invest tens, sometimes even hundreds of man-hours hounding your enemies. We can do pay-per-kill contracts that are likely to result in a lot of kills, but usually we charge a flat fee, paid up front on a per-week basis.

Please contact Destiny Corrupted for any inquiries, though you can also get in touch with any of our active members if I'm not online, and your situation is urgent.

Please note: I'm not likely to keep this thread bumped. Its primary purpose is to serve as a source of information for people who find us through the MERC Contracts channel, the channel's thread, or the link in our corporate bio.

Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed forum, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is whaynethepain. whaynethepain is a pvp warrior from the SpaceMonkey's Alliance. But whaynethepain posts in the Crime and Punishment section of the EVE forums. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a pvp warrior, an honoUrable pvp warrior, want to post in Crime and Punishment, with a bunch of 2-week-old forum trolls? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this thread? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this thread! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a bigshot empire griefer representing a major mercenary corporation, and I'm talkin' about whaynethepain! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that reply window deliberatin' and conjugatin' which meme to post, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed forum, it does not make sense! If whaynethepain posts in Crime and punishment, you must all quit! And send me your stuff.

Am I the only one concerned about this? If their business picks up, we might all be on the line as accessories for not reporting them to the proper authorities.

I am NOT going down for a Murder for Hire beat. Not again...

im here sh*tting up a shotgun x thread


HAI SHOTTY!

Well, he did open up saying they were terrible.