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Best drunk story ?

Author
VLad Stan
Fancypants Inc
Pandemic Horde
#1 - 2014-11-24 02:18:40 UTC  |  Edited by: VLad Stan
I guess the title says it all ! Will post one of my drunk stories shortly but feel free to endulge us with your drunkass funny story.



Okay so a friend of mine who moved out to Spain, came back home (Romania) for the holidays, ofc we got togheter and went out to a nightclub to get a couple of drinks, the couple of drinks soon became 2 bottles of vodka and assorted shots, us having a great time drunk as hell but still standing, we decide to finally call it a night, not knowing my friend wanted to go and get some hookers to entertain ourselves a little bit, but at the time i had a gf going on 2 years, ofc i did not remember that part but the next day after we met up he said to me that after he told me about his hooker plan the last thing i did was punch him, tell him i love my girlfriend and , running like a lunatic on the street, hitting a street pole from time to time and telling him to go f**K himself slowly but surely dissapearing in the night.^^
This is my drunk story, where is yours ?! ^^

(also i am sorry for my bad spelling ^^ )
VLad Stan
Fancypants Inc
Pandemic Horde
#2 - 2014-11-24 23:24:12 UTC
oh cmon i tought this would get more replies ! :(
Mina Sebiestar
Minmatar Inner Space Conglomerate
#3 - 2014-11-25 02:12:39 UTC
Oh you know waking up in middle of winter on a bench somewhere ...



All fun.

You choke behind a smile a fake behind the fear

Because >>I is too hard

Slymah
DorpCorp
#4 - 2014-11-25 04:49:00 UTC
VLad Stan wrote:
oh cmon i tought this would get more replies ! :(



All my good ones are still within the statute of limitations.

no bueno
Azda Ja
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#5 - 2014-11-25 04:50:49 UTC
It was so good I don't remember a thing.

Grrr.

VLad Stan
Fancypants Inc
Pandemic Horde
#6 - 2014-11-25 10:30:45 UTC
Slymah wrote:
VLad Stan wrote:
oh cmon i tought this would get more replies ! :(



All my good ones are still within the statute of limitations.

no bueno


this be space man xD so its all good ... someone once told me a story about him getting drunk and fisting a milf, this story is from a fellow capsuleer ^^ so go nuts xD
Ssabat Thraxx
DUST Expeditionary Team
Good Sax
#7 - 2014-11-25 11:02:16 UTC
There was this one time when I awoke in the morning in the back seat of my car, in the Waffle House parking lot. I have no idea how or why. vOv

\m/ O.o \m/

"You're a freak ..." - Solecist Project

Lady Areola Fappington
#8 - 2014-11-25 11:27:24 UTC
Here's my best drunk story.

First trip over to Iraq. It's New Years, and a few guys in the unit managed to acquire booze. Well, going without for 7 months makes anyone a lightweight, and soon enough, my squadmates were hammered. I stayed sober coz someone had to be responsible and listen for alerts in case we got called out for a medevac.

We'd stripped all the AT4 launchers off the trucks in order to swap them for new, and we had a stack of them sitting in our tent. Squadmate decides it's time to do some boxing, and starts swinging on the AT4 tubes. The stack falls, and I got an evil idea. I jumped up, pretended to examine the rockets, and yelled "OMG SPC SQUADMATE YOU ARMED THEM RUN!".

I've never seen a group of drunk soldiers haul ass that quickly. Locked the door on our tent/hooch, and proceeded to rearrange everyone's stuff before letting them back in.

Great times.

7.2 CAN I AVOID PVP COMPLETELY? No; there are no systems or locations in New Eden where PvP may be completely avoided. --Eve New Player Guide

VLad Stan
Fancypants Inc
Pandemic Horde
#9 - 2014-11-25 12:29:59 UTC
Lady Areola Fappington wrote:
Here's my best drunk story.

First trip over to Iraq. It's New Years, and a few guys in the unit managed to acquire booze. Well, going without for 7 months makes anyone a lightweight, and soon enough, my squadmates were hammered. I stayed sober coz someone had to be responsible and listen for alerts in case we got called out for a medevac.

We'd stripped all the AT4 launchers off the trucks in order to swap them for new, and we had a stack of them sitting in our tent. Squadmate decides it's time to do some boxing, and starts swinging on the AT4 tubes. The stack falls, and I got an evil idea. I jumped up, pretended to examine the rockets, and yelled "OMG SPC SQUADMATE YOU ARMED THEM RUN!".

I've never seen a group of drunk soldiers haul ass that quickly. Locked the door on our tent/hooch, and proceeded to rearrange everyone's stuff before letting them back in.

Great times.




ahah great story ^^
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#10 - 2014-11-25 19:02:02 UTC
ahh ffs ! ill bite .
I went to London to meet a mate for a beer or three ... got the train home ..and woke up in another country Ugh
Adunh Slavy
#11 - 2014-11-25 20:32:52 UTC
jason hill wrote:
ahh ffs ! ill bite .
I went to London to meet a mate for a beer or three ... got the train home ..and woke up in another country Ugh


King's Cross?

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.  - William Pitt

Adunh Slavy
#12 - 2014-11-25 20:35:06 UTC
jason hill wrote:
ahh ffs ! ill bite .
I went to London to meet a mate for a beer or three ... got the train home ..and woke up in another country Ugh


We made our own games, from Risk pieces, hex paper, maps, standard 52 card decks, dice, etc

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.  - William Pitt

VLad Stan
Fancypants Inc
Pandemic Horde
#13 - 2014-11-26 17:49:02 UTC
bump gents, cmon more crazy drunk stories please
jason hill
Red vs Blue Flight Academy
#14 - 2014-11-26 19:02:19 UTC
Wales Ugh
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#15 - 2014-11-27 00:40:36 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Woke up and said, "Dang, my nose hurts like hell!" Friends kind of come to and and yell "Hey, how's your foot!" Hmm, there are two scrape marks on those two hard bones that stick out on either side of your ankle. Seems OK. "Hey, don't you remember that taxi running over your foot? You could see it's back end bump up and down. Then you jumped up and started chasing it down the street trying to trying to kung fu it. Ha ha ha!"

Next morning in front of the apartment, a line of about 30 scooters are lying down dominoed side by side on the sidewalk. "Hey, don't you remember falling out of the taxi and knocking down all the scooters?" Erp, sorry about that all.

Tequila shots. Best done in a controlled environment. Maybe a padded room or something.
Dak Dallocort
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#16 - 2014-11-27 11:24:26 UTC
I awoke naked on a sandbar about three miles downriver of the cabin I had partied at the night prior. A few yards away a canoe lay on its side where it had run aground. My clothes were nowhere in sight, and neither was a paddle for the canoe. Not that a paddle would have mattered; I still had two empty 40oz bottles duct-taped to my hands, and no way of removing them by myself. I didn't want to risk swimming ashore in my condition, and both banks were thick with trees and vegetation anyway. So I sat and waited for a boat to come by.

It wasn't long until a couple of fishermen came by in a boat. They both found my predicament to be hilarious, and there was much laughing and Deliverance jokes made at my expense. They cut me loose of the bottles, gave me a blanket, and we towed the canoe back to my friends' cabin. There I found my clothes lying next to the shore, and my friends still passed out from the nights' festivities. Whether I had climbed into that canoe of my own volition, or been the victim of a hilarious prank, still remains a mystery to me three years later.
ShahFluffers
Ice Fire Warriors
Infinite Pew
#17 - 2014-11-28 05:42:05 UTC  |  Edited by: ShahFluffers
This is a story from a friend of mine...

Quote:
"After the gym I passed by some friends who were outside a bar. We starting talking and making jokes... went inside because it was cold... and then they order some tequila shots. I'm dehydrated and know it isn't a good idea... but you know... you can't refuse an offer. So I down 3 or so shot and then black out.

"I come to and find myself in a strip club. Woman in one hand, beer in the other. I have no idea wtf is happening so I just keep drinking.

"I come to again and I'm sitting in my parent's house. It's empty. I'm naked. All the lights are on. All the windows are open. And I can't find my clothes.

"A few days later my parents find my clothes buried in the backyard. I still don't know what happened or why."



My story:

My friend me invited to a Thanksgiving weekend Vegas trip with his family. Since most of my family had left town earlier (to some other boring place) in the week I decided it would be better than sitting at home alone.

And for background... my friend's family is a bunch of Filipinos... and not the small kind. These are the 300 lbs "we're-in-a-biker-gang-and-covered-in-tattoos" kind. I'm about 2/3s their weight and half their volume. So I'm the "runt" in the group.

As soon as we arrive in Vegas we hit the bars. One of my friend's uncles sweet talks one of the promo ladies standing outside into giving us her whole stack of coupons for 2-for-1 Tequila drinks.
Within about two hours all 12 of us have finished off half the stack. I personally have had somewhere in the range of 10 to 12 shots worth of hard liquor. I am both feeling great and awful at the same time.

Things get a little blurry around this time... I remember dancing with a woman who said she wanted me... but for some reason my friend was pulling me away... I couldn't understand anything he was saying.
NOTE: when I was more sober I was informed that the woman was ~40+ years my senior and had dentures

I wake up the next morning alone in the hotel room and tried to move... only to find myself still drunk.
I pull myself together and go downstairs to the lobby to find my friend and his family... and there they are drinking Irish Coffees and eating Rubens. I join them and quickly went from tipsy to hammered again.

Fastforwarding... I end up at a biker bar with my friend and all the males of his family. Things are loud and I'm nursing a watery beer... just... staring into it... feeling contemplative. Things get louder and I look up... and there are people fighting. Not yelling at each other mind you... I mean throwing punches. And more and more of these HUGE guys are piling in.
I knew I should have been terrified and gotten out of that bar... but for some reason I couldn't be bothered to do more than scoot my chair back up against the wall. I believe "meh... **** it" was floating through my head.

So I kept sitting there... sipping my beer... in the corner of the bar... and **** is just flying through the room. I see my friend go down unconscious and only THEN do I feel the need to actually do something. So I grabbed one of his legs and slowly dragged him out the back door... still holding my beer (cause **** everyone that's why!).

Police arrive... it's a shitshow. People scatter. I lied to the police that my friend was a bouncer (without mentioning he is my friend) and was knocked out trying to keep the peace. For some reason they buy it and don't verify anything (probably because we are the least of their concerns).

The next day I spend 11 hours driving home with my friend... both of us enduring the worst hangover of our lives.

NEVER. AGAIN.
Baneken
Arctic Light Inc.
Arctic Light
#18 - 2014-11-28 19:32:36 UTC
Waking in the morning with your jeans all torn from the knees ... and you realised that you must have crawled at least a mile back home from the bar and that you were also drunk enough to not have enough sense to take a cab home.

Good thing it was winter, the bad thing is that ice isn't much softer then the pavement.
Chainsaw Plankton
FaDoyToy
#19 - 2014-11-30 08:43:52 UTC
jason hill wrote:
ahh ffs ! ill bite .
I went to London to meet a mate for a beer or three ... got the train home ..and woke up in another country Ugh


I went to eve London, almost surprised that didn't happen to me Lol

then I went to the Valkyrie thingy in London, again surprised that didn't happen to me, I did however walk into the wrong station, and then somehow got home?

then I went to fanfest, I woke up with one of the pub crawl flags. Also I saw myself on the stream at the concert having a great time. I drank Jameson out of the bottle with some guy from I think Brave Newbies. I lost my camera (at the party), super glad someone was awesome enough to turn it in at Harpa. Part of my pubcrawl group got stuck in an elevator. I ate too many hogdogs.

@ChainsawPlankto on twitter

Eliana Eros
Neon Incorporated
#20 - 2014-12-02 21:19:49 UTC
This one time when i started working on my car, and when i woke up...somehow my friends F-150's engine was in my trunk, with a note:

Car now has 4 wheel drive.

♥'s and Glomps for everyone...well almost everyone.

Ze Goggles

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