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[Fiction] Confidence, Part 1
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Benetavo Saraki
Kaede Industries
#1 - 2014-10-23 02:35:45 UTC  |  Edited by: Benetavo Saraki
What happens when a common man crosses a capsuleer?

Find out in our new short story over at the Chasing the Black blog: http://chasingtheblack.wordpress.com

Here is a direct link to the story: http://chasingtheblack.wordpress.com/2014/10/22/confidence-part-1/

Chasing the Black
Foxicity
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2014-10-24 21:17:00 UTC
There are times when the wording is a bit clunky, such as "doors secured by security control panels". Earlier in the story, when you were using tiny details to build a picture that Danig is visiting someone dangerous, the details weren't quite meaty enough and left me a bit confused as to why Danig was so nervous.

But your pacing, pathos and ambiance are good. I liked the story. You should write more stories.