Crime & Punishment

It's been a tough summer for you. You went onto the server and ordered an honorable duel (Schnickt) and EVE thought you said Gank (PEW!) and you woke up in the clone bay where your HMO denied you your SP (TR NAZI: Broken pod??? And you need to see the clone vat immediately? I don't think so!!! Nein! (RUBBER STAMP) Nein!! (STAMP) We'll see you two weeks from Friday!!! And you owe us 5000 ISK for the ride in the car!!! (STAMP, STAMP, STAMP) Next???)

And three weeks later you're still training BS 5 and alt says she's sick of the patches on your hull (SS: It's a Minmatar!) and you'd promised to put in a Damage control there (SS: It's been duct taped there for years!) (TR: But I still don't have my skills!!! SS: Oh, it's always something isn't it.) and she says that if you don't do something about it she'll hire someone to (SS: I'll get an Inventor!) and the shame (STINK CHORD ON SAX) - the ignominy of having strange eggers come and work on your ship - your male sense of territory is aroused (TR TARZAN YELL) and you go to work - (TRUCK BACKING) you buy a few pounds of moon goo and minerals and have it dumped in back (AVALANCHE) - you copy blueprints to make the forms (FAX MACHINE) and you run them through invention (MAD SCIENCE) and you rent a lab slot and (BUBBLING) you pour the goo in the factory (SLOP AND SLURP OF FRESH TECHNETIUM) and you hire an team to make it go faster (KACHINK) and you round it off with an implant (ITS IN MY HEAD?) and you finish it up and it looks good (TR PRIDE) and you celebrate (POP OF CHAMPAGNE CORK, POURING) and you have a couple glasses of champagne (TR WHOOPEE) and (TR LOSING BALANCE) you have a little accident (FALLING INTO SAFETY RED) so the next day you have to bring back the team (KACHINK) and build it all from scratch (THE SHIP TOO?) and it looks great until your corpmate comes over to look at it -

TK: Nice. Didja remember to fit it with a prop mod?

TR: A prop mod? (CHORD)

And that night you learn about prop mods. A big fight. A wall of bubbles (DICTORS, HICS) You look at the overview (TR: Oh boy.) and you can see the tacklers moving toward your ship (TR: Oh my gosh), the fleet is like a sprinter fleeing directly away from your ship (TR PANIC), what can you do? (SS SLEEPY: Honey, is something wrong? TR: No. I just need to close the windows.) And you overheat your hardeners and (ALARM) it's three quarters deep in your armor (CRASHING) and the hull is on fire and (SCREAMS) the crew is trying to escape and the goo is leaking from your pod (SLURP) and in a few moments half of the fleet is on your killmail (POST KILL!) and your pod is tackled ready for execution (POINT POD!) - what can you do? You go to your warpout overview (Which planet) and you hope for the best. (SS: What are you doing? TR: It's a surprise. We're going on a trip. SS: Oh Earl, how romantic.) And you're ready to take the pod express home. (SS: What's this?) TR: Take her up!!! WHOOSH. SS FADING SQUEAL. TR: See you in Dodixie!!) POD AWAY) So you hire a fitting expert to come and have a look. (TK JOWLY MAN EXPLAINS NEED FOR MODULE HERE AND HERE AND HERE) (TR: Maybe I should jack up the budget and put in faction ... JOWLY MAN DISAGREES. (TR: Oh boy. You sure? JOWLY MAN CERTAINTY) And that morning the Jump Freighter comes (CYNO) and they clear out your wallet (BUTTERFLIES) and then they fill your ship hangar (MORE CYNO) and then they have to blow up your saved fittings (THREE MUFFLED EXPLOSIONS). Your brother-in-law is there. (TK: Didja remember to put on a point?) No, you didn't. (BIG EXPLOSION) That was very bad.

TR: Where's my Ship?

TK: You see the big scorch mark?

(RHUBARB THEME)

It's at times like that, you want Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie. Yes, nothing gets the taste of humiliation out of your mouth like Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

But one little thing can revive a guy,
And that is home-made rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot.
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.

DUET:
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

I can't ever shoot the person who had a quote of mine in his signature .... <3

My reaction to. I'm sending Rudy 1b for that piece of awesomeness. Let it never be said that I don't support arts education.


You have my corpse? o.O When was this from? Us repping RvB members?


I miss it, but there isn't enough room =(

Germany?

Lake Woebegone. Sheesh, try to keep up.

Nothing can go over my head. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it.

I wish I could say there weren't many of them out there, but I've never told a lie in eve.

Oh...yeah... that...

Well, I did tell you I would BUILD it...

It takes a while :(

Expect to take delivery in about 2 weeks.

Yeah.

Two weeks.

Crap I was supposed to do that yesterday! ARGHHHH! I'll try to do it tonight when I get home.

I've created a monster.

I'm so... so sorry.