Out of Pod Experience

Belief that the nature of the real world is actually something much smarter, integrated, sensible and more beautifully intricate than is apparent. And that each of us has the opportunity to train ourselves to see and know that real reality. Not to live in the mud or like a frog in a well, but climb out, fly with binocular vision, and keep looking higher and deeper into the unknown, but knowable.

In other words, belief in a higher attainable. This life experience is just a school/boot camp opportunity, IMO.

I once had so little time and so much to do. I lived for the day I would break free from that and have so much time and so little to do. I did achieve that a long time ago and ever since, I've been reveling in it.

After everything I've been through over the years, I am damn well going to get that retirement check! The longer I make it, the more the bastards have to pay! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I always disputed the old glass status thing. The way I see it, it is typical of optimism to say that the glass can be fuller, typical of pessimism to suggest it'll run out quickly, and typical of a realist to measure its contents and accept that both the optimist and the pessimist are indeed correct.

There is no simple answer.

I am depressive because my brain chemicals are ****** up. I too have the average dose of bad child experinces, which interacted poorly with my unbalanced chemicals, and so esentially I lost my abbility to be a normal person when I was too young to do anyhting about it.

I am depressive. This means i live with a bottomless pit in my soul; something is missing there where the "will to..." should be. Along my life I've been closer or farer from the pit. I almost fell to my death once. I've learned to build barriers around the pit, layer upon layef of them, so I stay away from it. Some barriers are strong (my commitment to not inflict a suicide unto my relatives) and other are weak (pestering these forums with my EVE concerns). Some are good, like the evidence that I've been able to do positive changes on my life (getting a job, FAI). Other are bad, like my conviction that life is a sentence and the only relief from it is that it will bloody end someday yet never soon enough.

So, there is no single thing that keeps me going. On bad days, I feel there are too many. On good days, I think there are quite enough of them.