Out of Pod Experience

To predicate this, I should establish that I work night shift, and as such I am basically nocturnal. The following incident occurred at approximately 3AM in my timezone.

So, my wife having justifiably banned me from stovetop cooking after I almost set the house on fire the other day attempting to make myself some Mac-n'-Cheese, I set off to Walmart an hour ago to find myself a tasty oven bake-able dinner.

Now, I freely understand that anyone, including myself, that is awake at this hour is up to no good. But I never could have expected that, while entering the men's restroom to answer the call of nature, that I would happen upon an enormously fat woman and a male Walmart employee, busily answering the other call of nature.

So let's have it, capsuleers of New Eden. What horrors have you stumbled upon, and at what time of night?

Since we started on a particular theme, I'll continue on that, with two stories.

Was at a bar in the CBD of Sydney a few years back and a young couple were humping at the poker machine in the corner, while playing the machine. The girl was in front of the guy with her skirt hitched up and they were going at it pretty good. The bar was full, but no one said anything.

Other time I'd been flirting with this girl at a nightclub for a few weeks. Nothing serious. Just mucking around really. We were both drunk together one night and things got the better of us, so we left the club and were headed to the tennis courts out the back (as you do). We didn't make it that far. She pulled me into this garden and next thing we were on the ground. All of a sudden there were bright lights on us. I looked up only to see that the garden we were in was right in the middle of the roundabout at the back exit of the carpark (this one). It was a little embarassing.

Music festival in Denmark maby 10 years ago, middel of the night,got dragged off under the main stage with a big grin on my face,
anyway about an hour or so later ****ing guard dogs came looking for us...unleashed guard dogs.
We could hear them running around on the stage stopping and barking whenever they were above us,
being keenly aware that we had just put considerable effort into getting sweaty and such we nearly panicked , thankfully...tequila!
We drank the liquid bravery and legged it!

i foubnd out after she worked theree and knew about the dogs

Thank God someone has a non-sex story. I was trying to keep some decorum and everything, but that went out the window pretty quickly.

Shhhh, we're trying to dispel the myth about all Eve players being 40 year old virgin neckbeards residing in basements or sheds across the world.

So we were at a large festival, strolling through the camping ground at night while peacefully drinking beer, when we suddenly heard that eponymous loud nocturnal bump, followed by deep guttural screams.
More bumps followed, while the screaming got louder- suddenly two metal-heads were passing us by, running like hell.
After them came the third metal-head, a huge, bearlike man (maybe my memory is fuzzy from booze and awesomeness) screaming like a madman and trying to catch the first two. Pure murder in his eyes.
It was pretty dark, so we didn't really see anything more, but when he rushed past us, we smelled the stench of chloride and human excrement. The big guy left a trail of scat and TP on the ground.
Later it became clear that his two friends thought it funny to tip over the chemical toilet while he was taking a dump.
We stood silently and in awe, and a good while later my friend whispered: "Nature....is beautiful...."

I clearly remember the last night I didn't wake up alone in my bed.

The horror ... never again!

oo reading this.. i do remember one thing..

When i was at uni i was visiting home to my parents, for a holiday... We had a family get together and the entire clan would come and you know, celebrate, drink etc as you do.

And i remember my niece who was around 5 year old who would at times just stop what she is doing and stare into this particular flight of stairs.. at one point she jsut spoke.. hi are you ok facing the stairs.. it creeped me out big time..

*im typing this recalling the memory and i am shuddering*

On this episode of: "Tales from WalMart", our hero encounters borderline child abuse.

So, I was standing in line at the checkout. The time was about 8 AM this morning. Ahead of me, a couple of people behind the person currently checking out, is... let's call her Redneck Rita.

Redneck Rita looks like nothing I have ever seen before in my life, and I lived in Alaska for ten years. (Fyi, that state is Confederate as ****, just a warning if you want to move there, it helps to be white)

She is dressed in a skirt that looks like she fashioned it from discarded lampshades, sunglasses with mother******* feathers on them, Crocs (of course), and a "Make 7Up Yours" t-shirt.

Oh and she was about 300 pounds and roughly 5'3".

But as awful as this sight was, the worst part was her kid. A four year old boy. For starters he had no freaking shoes. But right when I walked up behind them he said "Maw! I finished my Coke! I wanna Monster now!"

She takes a full can of Monster out of her purse, cracks it open, and gives it to him.

Now, that stuff has a buttload of caffeine in it. I am a full grown man, 6'2" and 210 pounds, and even I don't drink those in one sitting.

But that kid polished it off before they even got to the front of the line.

Well, that's the point of the thread after all, so I must ask.

Things like what?