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Let me tell you why highsec miners exploit suicide gankers. Uno credo ultimo infernale etc., etc.

First post
Author
Kolmogorow
Freedom Resources
#1 - 2011-12-08 00:34:38 UTC
I'll tell you a story I heard from an uncle's his friend's son's second account, and it is true:

"I am a high sec miner. When I mine in high sec I feel a strong union with matter, mind and the universe. My mining laser beams are the wire to a godlike entity. It sits in the asteroids and his power emanates from there flowing through the laser beam back to my barge, into the control panel (through various other devices I cannot all count here) and into my eyes filling me with massless absinth. (This metaphor for the unenlightened.)

Sometimes lovely creatures approach me and sacrifice themselves and their war ships, worshipping me and my illuminated wire to the holy asteroids. As a sign of my graciousness I transform myself into a glimmering rain of salvage wrecks. Swimming in a warm sea of blessedness, they are happy and often write exalted greetings into their communicator, sometimes confusing and mispelling the words under the massive pressure of their gladness. Not rarely I read "ph-uck" when they meant "l-uck". And I answer in their own language to not break the enjoyment of being close to each other.

Occasionally I guide them to a group of other hard working and silent miners. They are my enemies and the war ship pilots are happy to serve me by destroying them (<- the enemies) and themselves (<- the war ship pilots) with great delight and they cannot wait to return with a new ship (asap and oaoa (<- over and over again)). In all their excitement they mess who is friend (<- me) and who is foe (<- the silent miners). Once they have destroyed my ship by an unfortunate accident and in the heat of the moment I am silent this time (resulting in their belief that is was not me they destroyed, so to speak) to not catapult them into desparation and self-reproach.

Yes, they are servants unknowingly and without will. But it is an exploit without pain and for a better world (<- includes asteroids)."

He is a high sec miner and he knows what he says. Thank you for reading and I'll send him your greetings.
Feyona
Doomheim
#2 - 2011-12-08 01:37:32 UTC
Beautiful. That was fantastic.
Crumplecorn
Eve Cluster Explorations
#3 - 2011-12-08 01:40:37 UTC
tl;dr: My enemy's enemy is my friend.

Witty Image - Stream

Not Liking this post hurts my RL feelings and will be considered harassment

Jakon Deninard
Kitsune Corporation
#4 - 2011-12-08 01:44:51 UTC
Hehe, quite witty.
Nephilius
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#5 - 2011-12-08 02:09:59 UTC
Would read again, would recommend to others. +2
"If."
el alasar
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2011-12-08 02:54:48 UTC
i wish we had more this well worded, entertaining yet truth bearing posts you enjoy reading twice!

can i follow your stories? Blink

check the moderated 10000 papercuts evelopedia page! http://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Little_things_and_ideas_-_low_hanging_fruit_-_10000_papercuts comment, bump(!) and like what you like

CCP Phantom
C C P
C C P Alliance
#7 - 2011-12-08 19:24:39 UTC
Beautiful

CCP Phantom - Senior Community Developer

Neo Agricola
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2011-12-08 20:46:57 UTC
Very nice!

DISSONANCE is recruiting Members: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=706442#post706442 Black-Mark Alliance Recruitment: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=6710

zatazon
State War Academy
Caldari State
#9 - 2011-12-08 21:06:03 UTC
This was an incredibly enjoyable true story told with such enthusiasm as to cause all who lay eyes upon your words to be humbled by the pure awesomeness which is your post.

Or some such thing +1
Famble
Three's a Crowd
#10 - 2011-12-08 22:11:23 UTC
Post didn't do anything for me. Meh.

If anyone ever looks at you and says,_ "Hold my beer, watch this,"_  you're probably going to want to pay attention.

Shizuken
Venerated Stars
#11 - 2011-12-08 22:15:44 UTC
Famble wrote:
Post didn't do anything for me. Meh.


I agree I don't get it...
Titania Hrothgar
Nemesis Retribution
#12 - 2011-12-08 22:18:53 UTC
I like it!

All the world's a stage and all the men and women are the players.

Monuturattilor
Merry dancers in the sky
#13 - 2011-12-09 00:08:52 UTC
Wonderful. Reading it twice was needed P
And indeed true, especially for EVE Roll

Thanks for sharing!
Jenshae Chiroptera
#14 - 2011-12-09 00:35:28 UTC  |  Edited by: Jenshae Chiroptera
If the gods of this galaxy were to expunge the soulless that feast upon the wealth; would this then give the jackals no shadows in which to hide their twisted spirits?

CCP - Building ant hills and magnifying glasses for fat kids

Not even once

EVE is becoming shallow and puerile; it will satisfy neither the veteran nor the "WoW" type crowd in the transition.

Cloora
APEX Unlimited
APEX Conglomerate
#15 - 2011-12-09 00:50:53 UTC
I think I get it. Can someone explain it to me to make I thought correctly?

http://www.altaholics.blogspot.com

Xearal
Dead's Prostitutes
The Initiative.
#16 - 2011-12-09 01:35:41 UTC
Sooo.. what have you been smoking? And where can I get some?

Does railgun ammunition come in Hollow Point?

xanaxred
Extended Industries
#17 - 2011-12-09 03:05:57 UTC

well done, although admittedly I had to read it twice...