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Crime & Punishment

 
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The price of heresy

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Leto Thule
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#161 - 2014-07-28 18:04:29 UTC
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
Heresy, some times it occurs after the fact..

We call these, tears.

You owe it to yourself to listen to the soundcloud therein.

F


Wow.

WOW.

Thunderdome ringmaster, Community Leader and Lord Inquisitor to the Court of Crime and Punishment
Ralph King-Griffin
New Eden Tech Support
#162 - 2014-07-28 18:08:50 UTC
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
Heresy, some times it occurs after the fact..

We call these, tears.

You owe it to yourself to listen to the soundcloud therein.

F

You can tell how well adjusted and mature an eve player is by how often they are accused of having a psychological disorder by carebears.

Murderers of Negotiable Motivations

=]|[=
Malcolm Shinhwa
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#163 - 2014-07-29 13:50:48 UTC
I had to wait a bit until the kids were out of the house... totally worth it. That recording is hysterical. If we could have hats in this game, I'd tip mine to you.

[i]"The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental[/i]."
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#164 - 2014-08-05 18:36:54 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Ezwal
Praise be...

Another soul has been saved and frocked in the crimson cossack of an inquisitor of HTFU, and in so doing detonated another innocent in reprisal to nerf-hisec heresies.

Let us all bask in the beauty of the transformative act new inquisitor Faylee Freir has emblazoned upon [redacted]'s buttocks, as we now go to the flaggelation already in progress...warning: this program is filled with heresies and carebear venom, viewer discretion is advised.

*Snip* Please refrain from posting private in game correspondence outside the Pirate story thread. ISD Ezwal.
When heresies against HTFU stop, we will stop. SO endeth the lesson.

F

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Gallowmere Rorschach
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#165 - 2014-08-05 19:31:26 UTC
Dammit Feyd, that's just beautiful.
Faylee Freir
Abusing Game Mechanics
#166 - 2014-08-06 22:51:23 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Ezwal
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
Praise be...

Another soul has been saved and frocked in the crimson cossack of an inquisitor of HTFU, and in so doing detonated another innocent in reprisal to nerf-hisec heresies.

Let us all bask in the beauty of the transformative act new inquisitor Faylee Freir has emblazoned upon [redacted]'s buttocks, as we now go to the flaggelation already in progress...warning: this program is filled with heresies and carebear venom, viewer discretion is advised.

*Snip* Please refrain from posting private in game correspondence outside the Pirate story thread. ISD Ezwal.
When heresies against HTFU stop, we will stop. SO endeth the lesson.

F

Thanks for the kind words Feyd. The path to enlightenment is one filled with tough lessons, but when you stand to face an eternity with all the glories that are rewarded for our loyalty; the choice is simple. It saddens me that these hi-sec terrorists poison the minds of our newer pilots, creating a new age of entitlement and uber-carebearism. I'm committed to enlightening my fellow capsuleers in an attempt to turn them from evil.

Furthermore, if you're interested in how you can help please visit Feyd's blog. If you'd like to request that we visit a specific area in New Eden to assist others in enlightenment, please fill out the appropriate paperwork and submit it to a member of Lords.

HTFU
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#167 - 2014-08-07 14:20:58 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Ezwal
In further news, heretic NIFTYGetAtMe who has been mewling for nerfs has just caused the death of an innocent carebears shiny in his stead...

We await with baited breath NIFTY showing his true benevolence to the EvE community, by replacing this poor innocents Orthrus loss with 1.3 billion ISK from his personal treasure hoard.

---
*Snip* Please refrain from posting private in game correspondence outside the Pirate story thread. ISD Ezwal.


Truly, Omar must be an anointed messenger of HTFU, for how else can we explain the taking down of a combat-fit faction cruiser by only a T1 frigate? Astounding, and confirmation we must indeed be doing HIS work along the golden path.

F

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CrAzY AnNiE
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#168 - 2014-08-07 19:00:32 UTC
Kaarous Aldurald wrote:
Kyperion wrote:

Nobody quits out of boredom with in game activities (at least no one that would skill for mining in the first place)... they quit out of boredom waiting to do the next thing.


I personally know six people in real life who attempted a trial of this game (I push it pretty heavily on my friends), all of whom quit because when they started, everyone in the NPC corps and the Help channel told them to mine. One of them told me that Solitaire doesn't have a monthly fee.

So yeah, people do quit out of boredom with some of the "interim" activities. I view it as an abject failure of the new player experience, that people are even allowed to mine at all during trial periods. If you want to keep newbies, you don't tell them that they have to spend time until their skills train up by mining. They might as well not be playing the game at all.

The 3 friends I have kept in the game, by the way, I did so by showing them faction warfare, lowsec exploration (pre loot spew, in fact that guy quit the game when Odyssey came around) and suicide ganking an untanked industrial in highsec.



Agree with this completely. I'd just like to mention that one of the reasons I hesitated about starting to play EVE in the first place was because I was under the impression that it was nothing more than a space mining game, but I gave it a go; although not my original toon, this toon was created as a do over. Started PVP in FW, and I haven't looked back. Mining, to me, is a support role; it's not the heart of the game. A year later, and I'm still learning what to do and what not to do.
CrAzY AnNiE
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#169 - 2014-08-07 19:26:32 UTC
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:
Heresy, some times it occurs after the fact..

We call these, tears.

You owe it to yourself to listen to the soundcloud therein.

F


man....so much feels in that sound clip....
Mike Adoulin
Happys Happy Hamster Hunting Club
#170 - 2014-08-07 20:58:13 UTC
rofling

Everything in EVE is a trap.

And if it isn't, it's your job to make it a trap...:)

You want to know what immorality in EVE Online looks like? Look no further than Ripard "Jester" Teg.

Chribba is the Chuck Norris of EVE.
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#171 - 2014-08-08 20:04:10 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Ezwal
We are proud to announce our new 24-hours-or-its-free gauruntee to our popular Kill-It-Forward program. If we don't execute a carebear within 24 hours of a +1 being added to the Kill-It-Forward queue by a holy inquisitor of HTFU, the next carebear beheading is FREE!

---
*Snip* Please refrain from posting private in game correspondence outside the Pirate story thread. ISD Ezwal.

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Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#172 - 2014-08-11 14:00:31 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Ezwal
We all know what its like starting out as a new player, how every single ISK is scraped from rocks or PVE missions (if not an available credit card...), so a loss of a 225m ISK Battleship by an innocent is no small matter, nor a penance we inflict wantonly...

I come to you today with an apology, for the mis-management of our Kill-it-Forward queue, where only a +1 was added due to nerf-EvE heresies by Lucas Kell, but we accidentally sploded 2 innocent bears.

Thankfully, our holy see has reviewed this case, and confirmed our inquisitors of HTFU are ultimately infallible, so the victim is still encouraged to contact Lucas Kell directly for recompense.

---

*Snip* Please refrain from posting private in game correspondence outside the Pirate story thread. ISD Ezwal.

Will [redacted] accept this offer of enlightenment and chance to ascend and walk the golden path? We will keep you posted.

F

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Leto Thule
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#173 - 2014-08-11 14:36:05 UTC
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen wrote:

I come to you today with an apology, for the mis-management of our Kill-it-Forward queue, where only a +1 was added due to nerf-EvE heresies by Lucas Kell, but we accidentally sploded 2 innocent bears.


Erm, sir, after going back and checking, Mr. Kell did indeed warrant a +2 addition to the queue. No error was made.

Thunderdome ringmaster, Community Leader and Lord Inquisitor to the Court of Crime and Punishment
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#174 - 2014-08-13 13:43:52 UTC  |  Edited by: ISD Ezwal
Leto Thule wrote:

Erm, sir, after going back and checking, Mr. Kell did indeed warrant a +2 addition to the queue. No error was made.

Upon further review, your infallible inquisitors of holy HTFU agree the level of Lucas Kell's continued heresy does warrant additional Kill-It-Forward beheadings. Let us praise new initiate Ballorr for answering the call for justice, and earning his place within THE ORDER OF THE GLOWING DILDO...

*Snip* Please refrain from posting private in game correspondence outside the Pirate story thread. ISD Ezwal.

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Samantha Floyd
Doomheim
#175 - 2014-08-15 12:35:44 UTC
I think you guys are kind of dickheads, and the obvious overuse of a thesaurus is a little obnoxious, but man oh man is this **** ever funny.

I've been waiting - no, yearning for another clip as amusing as the sohkar. You have delivered, gentlemen. And I thank you.
Jamwara DelCalicoe Ashley
New Eden Tech Support
#176 - 2014-08-15 13:55:45 UTC
Samantha Floyd wrote:
I think you guys are kind of dickheads, and the obvious overuse of a thesaurus is a little obnoxious, but man oh man is this **** ever funny.

I've been waiting - no, yearning for another clip as amusing as the sohkar. You have delivered, gentlemen. And I thank you.


We're not dickheads. We're awesome.

As far as using a thesaurus; negative. We are but a conduit to enlightenment/insight/literacy/sophistication/wisdom/teaching.

Thank me later :D
Omar Alharazaad
New Eden Tech Support
#177 - 2014-08-15 15:07:41 UTC
Thesaurus? Nah, we just know all our big boy words. Edjumacation and whatnot.
And yes, what Jamwara said. We exist to help to enlighten our brethren as to the true nature of New Eden. It is a harsh place and we seek to help others to eliminate their misconceptions of the universe around them.
While some may not appreciate what we do, others find enlightenment from our actions. They learn how to survive and thrive because of what we do, and that is the true reward. Every time a carebear learns how to use their claws and defend themselves properly we have succeeded in our mission.

Come hell or high water, this sick world will know I was here.
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#178 - 2014-08-15 16:04:04 UTC  |  Edited by: Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Brother Jam and Omar are righteous in their commentary...

Further, what is most beautiful about Kill-It-Forward, is our inquisitors also attempt to recruit those who display a good attitude when detonated and who accept their loss as part of normal EvE life.

Nothing is more beautiful, than the conversion of a carebear to killer, someone who would have never otherwise have pulled a trigger in EvE, converted to the one true faith of PVP through the holy fire of our grand inquisitors.

That is the hidden secret truth of Kill-It-Forward and THE GOLDEN PATH; not just vengeance against heresy, but recruitment and propagation of the HTFU species. Did not the LORD not say 'be pewful and multiply?', by golly he sure did.

F

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RookieSystem Griefer Shitlist
Doomheim
#179 - 2014-09-12 22:23:08 UTC
What is the price your members will pay for trying to grief brand new players attempting the tutorials?

https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=5014303
Feyd Rautha Harkonnen
Doomheim
#180 - 2014-09-12 23:38:31 UTC
As mentioned in our training manual, messing with rookies in newbie systems is indeed a no no...

The appropriate pee pee's have been slapped. Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

F

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