EVE Fiction

Been reading into the lore a bit more lately... am I to understand correctly that the colonists who came through the EVE Gate were in fact refugees? And that the Jove closed the gate to protect pre-singularity human life modalities?

I always believed that Earth had been infested by Dwarfs, Elfs and Pandas and most of the populace stayed in areas of forest lands where it was absolutely safe and boar were plentiful and stuffed with gold and other trinkets.

To escape that lunacy, the last remnants of humanity escaped into fluidic space in their technologically advanced spaceships that the rest of the new Earth inhabitants eschewed in favor of swords, shields and magic, and sealed themselves in. They took with them only what they needed to barely survive, some entertainment technology, inpenetratable door locks, and several hundred thousand copies of Excel 2000.

Don't forget the hoods.

There is another alternate theory.

Walnuts.

Yep, Walnuts.

In the late 3000's, Walnut gained sentience and began to enslave humanity, forcing them to create large scale public works projects, shower on a twice daily basis, and taking the most influential of humans and baking them into random confectionary goods for both health benefits and texture.

The rebels in humanities ranks eventually fled the Earth, mostly because they preffered bathing weekly over twice daily showering. They escaped in hastily thrown together spaceships, made from old Star Wars props, recycled Cold War ICBMs, duct tape and stuff gotten for 5$ from a NASA garage sale. They found a wormhole that led to an unpopulated pocket of fluidic space that seemed perfect due to their bathing requirements, which would decrease the weekly baths to monthly baths. Worried that Walnuts would find their way to their New Eden, I large scale cosmic Tub Stopper was installed in spectacular fashion, effectively sealing the wormhole.

This also explains why Walnuts are banned from POCOs.

Eve space is not fluidic. The warp cores create drag on the ships causing this fluid type motion....Also they got the stuff for $10 at a Nasa garage sale after hours of bartering.

The who?

To be fair EVE used to be more grimdark than it is now.

Capsuleers looked like this at one point

Very sure, Sansha hates capsuleers, wants them see extinguished from the universe. That picture in uestion is actually used in a PI chronicle where a capsuleer negotiates planetrights with a local goverment (well 'negotiate' they either agree or they get bombed). If you want a grimdark eve, dive in the old lore, there's some chilling stuff, specially when you think deeper on it.

I had never heard of the term 'grimdark' until now... (I even looked it up)

My understanding of why the colonist came through the EVE Gate in the first place was to escape from Earth origin; where every controlled system was stripped of its finite resources, planets were taxed beyond the breaking point and where mankind was on the verge of utter collapse (especially with wars between themselves for the remnants).

I guess from a beginning point of view, everything ahead of you looked bleak; then you find a wormhole to a whole new area of space... things become renewed in the human spirit...

Then again, everything around you collapses and again you as humanity are forced to stare at the grim dark of your existence ahead of you...

In the beginning, it definitely set the tone for one's outlook of the game...
Its hard not to keep thinking of the future as bleak, when that is all you as a race have known...




But just like everything else in this game, it too evolves...


I'd be curious to know if the Jove had anything to do with the collapse of the wormhole...

CCP closed the wormhole just to collect tears from capsuleers everywhere.