Wormholes

Ah, is some butthurt?

I did not follow thread so much, other than to glance in when I see such name as yours', Mr Thorp and Mr Bert.

So sadly I'm not very 'up' with what is happen, or source of sore rectal areas. Can someone give me the TL:DR?

My bottom? Well as you know I am very modest capsuleer and do not like spotlight or attention, but I will speak about my butt in the name of State-promotion, of course and because is you who ask me Mr Thorp. Many describe as my finest feature.

Is hard to appreciate with mere words, being unable to show you in person or even on holo-comms, but I take self-shot of bum in private dressing room for you. Cannot tell with pants on, but is a small barcode and State branding above right hip that is very hard to see. You know what it means? Well, you see I was born with genetic defect, it give me legs that are too long in proportion to rest of me. It make me look a little awkward sometimes, because of my small size, but it works to my advantage in holo-films and photos where these proportions hide my true height. Otherwise would be no good for promotional model, Mr Thorp, I am too small, so in a way this defect is blessing as it make me appear like taller person in film.

This naturally long legs help to ensure they are slender and toned too, and these traits also apply to my buttocks which are attached to the legs. I was told by State Protectorate medical technician that my legs and buttocks have an almost impossibly perfect geometric arrangement which makes them quite unique among capsuleers and baseliners alike. As such State Military take out patent code rights to genetic profile of my legs and backside, along with comprehensive insurance policy.

I have very high metabolism and very rigorous exercise regime, Mr Thorp, sir. This also help to ensure my buttocks are kept in very fine form - symmetrical, firm and gently curved to compliment the lumbar of my lower back. I do much cardio to ensure I burn away all body fat, but I try to avoid weights because I do not wish to gain mass. Other than jogging I do occasional squats and pelvic floor exercises to ensure all muscles in my lower region are taut, toned, firm and responsive on command.

Skin care is simple. Achuran skin is often sensitive and the silky smooth olive surface of my backside is no exception. This olive complexion mean I rarely need to tan (I would burn easy anyway) and a simple massage from my assistant every now and then, perhaps with some native oils, is all that is required to keep my bottom feeling as smooth as your charms, sir.


My sisters and I we follow your teachings for some time, Professor Bert, and is an honor and pleasure to receive anything from you sir, even a podding. So to receive your humble question has make my day. I am unsure if my response will be to the high standard you deserve though, sir.

I am not familiar with this "photoshop" you refer too. The necom in my quarters is limited to some Matari program called "Gimp". At first I thought was joke, I hear of some Gallente men, or people like Andrew Jester, who enjoy to dress in suit called "Gimp" and I never figure it to also be name of some software. But you learn something new each day. For instance today I learn about a "LAGL", is very fascinate.

I'm afraid if I attempted to create such unusual vessel that have pajama yogo pants thing, heels and hands of a lawnmower that spew flame I would only do such beautiful concept injustice. Mine is a specialty in front of the camera, sir, not behind it. And my attempts to making such things could only be described as quite amateur yet very time consuming, ah.

And you, Mr Herrbert sir, deserve so much more than this little Achuran could ever offer in way of beautiful, mutant Proteruss.

Well i was keen to check out some Shelby ass action but now she has gone full ranga i just can't "come" at that.

Well is no need to be spiteful.

Does your backside come with full insurance policy paid by State? Hmm? Including clauses for sudden flooding, earthquakes or act of Bob?

I think you're just mad that your stuff got stolen while you did nothing and then got back handed on the forums for it.

Slow clap to OP. A corp like yours blackpulsar only exists to farm SRP for the lowsec contingent of your alliance. Whom I note got evicted from null for farming during a sov war as well.

Aye, we need to be careful of that this time.

Pshhhhh. No, it does not.

But it still pass sh*t through it that stink, same as yours!!

I might need to get the OP of this thread to lend me some ISK.

Oh god.

Ok, girls, Jester, is time for your bedtime kids before this butt thing get out of hands.

Kellie, enough of the back-talking.

Shelby, take your meds and stop flirting.

Jester, **** you.

Was just question about backside. Nothing to do with you kids and nothing to make an arse of yourself over.

Do try and keep up...

It was a shame we couldn't meet up at the time but i had pressing duties to attend to.

I like that you are starting out in the Stratios not like those other try hards scanning in Covops. When you come of age and decide to dye out all that ranga hit me up and i will take you for a ride in my Proteus, she is the Torana of all the T3's.