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How to tell your girl friend she is a fat ass

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Author
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NickyYo
modro
Northern Coalition.
#1 - 2011-12-07 02:27:39 UTC
Without offending her?

..
Krios Ahzek
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#2 - 2011-12-07 02:29:49 UTC
Just dump her and get one that isn't a fatty.

Alternatively if you've been with her for too long or she has only recently gotten fast, go train with her until her flub is manageable

 Though All Men Do Despise Us
IIIAsharakIII
The League of Extraordinary Assholes
Leviathan.
#3 - 2011-12-07 02:32:41 UTC  |  Edited by: IIIAsharakIII
Hmmm bro thats a tough one.

Maybe tell her you like her that way?

No that one will get you in the doghouse too.

Better just start excersizing some independent reasoning and reassess your ideas of beauty.

Then tell her she's beautiful.....

And bring flowers.
Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
Senpai's Afterschool Anime and Gaming Club
#4 - 2011-12-07 02:33:10 UTC
Next time you are intimate, you gotta be all like "aw **** baby I like your fat ass!" *SLAP*

That way, she won't get offended by your comment since you meant it as a compliment, but will now be self-conscious about the issue enough for it to gnaw at her until she develops an eating disorder.

I wrote some true EVE stories! And no, they're not of the generic "my 0.0 alliance had lots of 0.0 fleets and took a lot of 0.0 space" sort. Check them out here:

https://truestories.eveonline.com/users/2074-destiny-corrupted
Alara IonStorm
#5 - 2011-12-07 02:34:03 UTC
Honey I think we should start an exercise program together and cut back on unhealthy foods. It will be good for us.

If that does not work and there seems to be no chance go Nuclear.

Honey I can not stand having sex with you anymore and if you do not try to loose some weight I am gonna dump you and find someone else. Ether that or get a mistress / one night stands / prostitutes and never touch you again. Because honestly I have needs and you just let yourself go. I have worked to keep it so I can look at myself in the mirror and it is not unreasonable to expect the same from you.

If that doesn't work toss the sow like a dirty fast food wrapper and move the hell on there champ.
Cipher Jones
The Thomas Edwards Taco Tuesday All Stars
#6 - 2011-12-07 02:35:42 UTC
Tell her you want to have Intercrural sex with her belly button.

internet spaceships

are serious business sir.

and don't forget it
SkullKid
Hooligans Of War
#7 - 2011-12-07 02:37:15 UTC
You give her a cake, she will tell you that she has a fat ass
Famble
Three's a Crowd
#8 - 2011-12-07 02:59:34 UTC
Rig the bathroom scale to break next time someone stands on it.

Replace the driver's side springs of her Camry with springs from some miserable little 50 mpg econo-car so when she gets in it for work in the morning it sags terribly.

Shrink a couple pair of her pants a bit.

Fake a back injury next time you carry her somewhere.

This isn't hard champ.

If anyone ever looks at you and says,_ "Hold my beer, watch this,"_  you're probably going to want to pay attention.
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#9 - 2011-12-07 03:03:18 UTC
Alara IonStorm wrote:
Honey I think we should start an exercise program together and cut back on unhealthy foods. It will be good for us.

If that does not work and there seems to be no chance go Nuclear.

Honey I can not stand having sex with you anymore and if you do not try to loose some weight I am gonna dump you and find someone else.


Shocked

That's exactly what I did, then I discovered being single rocks so it's casual sex with no strings attached for me

Also I have my muscles back now as I got my willpower back

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny
Gogela
Epic Ganking Time
CODE.
#10 - 2011-12-07 03:04:35 UTC
Comment on the physique of another woman next time you are in the car with your fatty. Mention how "fit" she looks.

The fatty will likely be angry at you, but not offended herself, necessarily. Because she is a fatty, she probably has low self-esteem and will forgive your comment. You can even follow up with an "I'm sorry".

Hopefully now that will be behind you, but sub-consciously the fatty will forever be comparing herself to the woman who you commented on that day in the car. Women never forget. Ever. Your words will haunt her forever and she will ALWAYS think her ass is fat henceforth. Whether or not she does anything about it is anyone's guess... but she'll know. Oh yes... she will always know.

....and if you end up breaking up with her, she'll probably blame herself!

Welp, hope I helped... off to hell for me now...

Lol

Signatures should be used responsibly...
Lina Alar
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#11 - 2011-12-07 03:22:09 UTC
"Honey, the jogging pants don't make your butt look big, your butt makes your butt look big."

Seriously, you can't tell her she is fat without offending her. You can, however, invite her to exercise with you, in particular a pair sport like tennis. You're going to have to do the work with her, though.

If she won't join you then you tell her you're honestly worried about her health.

On the downside, if you are a lard butt also, you have no standing to complain about her figure.

An explanation of Eve socialization: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTbgvYPVdXE

Lick with your main™
Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
#12 - 2011-12-07 03:26:29 UTC
Start Exercising.

Dust 514's CPM 1 Iron Wolf Saber Eve mail me about Dust 514 issues.
Destiny Corrupted
Deadly Viper Kitten Mitten Sewing Company
Senpai's Afterschool Anime and Gaming Club
#13 - 2011-12-07 03:36:55 UTC
Lina Alar wrote:
On the downside, if you are a lard butt also, you have no standing to complain about her figure.

Unless you have money.

I wrote some true EVE stories! And no, they're not of the generic "my 0.0 alliance had lots of 0.0 fleets and took a lot of 0.0 space" sort. Check them out here:

https://truestories.eveonline.com/users/2074-destiny-corrupted
Aargolos
Estrale Frontiers
#14 - 2011-12-07 03:38:55 UTC
"You should try this Quafe Zero honey, it takes just like...."
electrostatus
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#15 - 2011-12-07 03:55:21 UTC
I can't locate it on youtube, but from the simpsons:

"Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you"

Asteroid Timer: Know exactly when that roid depletes! PI Profit Calculator: calculates your profits and taxes of any PI product depending on how you built them!
Alpheias
Tactical Farmers.
Pandemic Horde
#16 - 2011-12-07 03:56:15 UTC
Dust some flour between her legs and see where the dampness is. Explain to her that if she wasn't so damn fat, you wouldn't need to go to these extremes.

Agent of Chaos, Sower of Discord.

Don't talk to me unless you are IQ verified and certified with three references from non-family members. Please have your certificate of authenticity on hand.
Grey Stormshadow
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#17 - 2011-12-07 04:16:24 UTC
NickyYo wrote:
Without offending her?

Buy her a full body mirror - rather narrow one.

Get classic forum style - custom videos to captains quarters screen

Play with the best - die like the rest
rodyas
Tie Fighters Inc
#18 - 2011-12-07 04:37:42 UTC
Lie down next to a cake and when she goes for that dump her and say its her fault.

Signature removed for inappropriate language - CCP Eterne
Herping yourDerp
Tribal Liberation Force
Minmatar Republic
#19 - 2011-12-07 04:44:19 UTC
tell her she is gaining some weight, but remember sex burns calories so get in there.
Brock Nelson
#20 - 2011-12-07 04:46:08 UTC
Tell her that you've been going to your chiropractor for the past month for back problems and he has recommended that she needs to leave

Signature removed, CCP Phantom
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