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How to get a girlfriend

First post
Author
Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
#21 - 2011-12-07 02:20:30 UTC
Karadion wrote:
You already have a girlfriend. It's your left hand.



Is that official Goon policy? P


Bring back DEEEEP Space!

Alara IonStorm
#22 - 2011-12-07 02:21:05 UTC  |  Edited by: Alara IonStorm
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Alara IonStorm wrote:
Find someone who is a loner. Get to know them and turn them against there friends and family. Worm your way into every aspect of there life and make them depend on you emotionally as there sole source of support. Financially too if you can swing it. Make them burn all there bridges and then get them while they are vulnerable.

If you get bored with them feel free to drug them and tell everyone they overdosed before restarting the cycle.

If you want non Sociopathic advise I would say your on the wrong forum.


Helps if they're already an addict to said drug, makes it easier to get away with it.

This really OP.

Generally if they are addicted from the get go they are easier to manipulate. Pain Meds and Amphetamines are a good place to start, they usually haven't dug the hole to deep yet. Mental Illness helps, depression, social anxiety stuff like that.

Remember they are sneaky, trying to pretend they are Ok. Look for head down, slow walking and shying away from looking at you directly in the eye. Usually quite until you talk them then the desperate ones tend to ramble and open up about everything. Sneak in comments that make them feel inadequate but don't depress them to much that they spiral on you.

Gotta find just the right amount of hopelessness.
Klown Walk
Federal Defense Union
Gallente Federation
#23 - 2011-12-07 02:24:05 UTC
Make a petition, I´m sure ccp will help you.
Krios Ahzek
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#24 - 2011-12-07 02:25:06 UTC
Klown Walk wrote:
Make a petition, I´m sure ccp will help you.


Eve player meets hot CCP GM.

They get married at Fanfest

I wouldn't watch the movie but it's similar enough to Twilight (white skin, etc) to work

 Though All Men Do Despise Us

Famble
Three's a Crowd
#25 - 2011-12-07 02:25:17 UTC
Do you have a titan? Show chicks your titan.

If anyone ever looks at you and says,_ "Hold my beer, watch this,"_  you're probably going to want to pay attention.

Alara IonStorm
#26 - 2011-12-07 02:28:34 UTC
Famble wrote:
Do you have a titan? Show chicks your titan.

If that doesn't work try having a big penis.

Not as good as a 17km Super Battleship but it gets the job done.

If you do not there are pills you can buy. Hang around a few XXX sites and they should promptly E-Mail you.
Cipher Jones
The Thomas Edwards Taco Tuesday All Stars
#27 - 2011-12-07 02:44:33 UTC
Gealbhan wrote:
Ms Sexy wrote:
Hi i very lonely, i get sad at night and cwy my self to sleewp somtimes.
How does one get a real life girl friend?
I am 32 years old.


Those are not tears of sadness but joy. I cry myself to sleep at night because my Fianceé makes me get off eve online and spend time with her Sad


You'll need a monocle to cover the black eye you get when she reads that post.

internet spaceships

are serious business sir.

and don't forget it

Olleybear
Infinite Point
Pandemic Horde
#28 - 2011-12-07 02:44:59 UTC
You have to show the money to get the honey.

More seriously:

Wash yourself everyday.

Floss. If you dont floss, try it, then smell the floss to see what anyone that is talking to you smells when you dont floss.

Wear new clothes, they dont have to be expensive, just new. Your 15 year old favorite shirt that has animal grease stains on the front isnt going to cut it.

Talk and joke. Ladies are more comfortable around people who can interact with them verbaly and make them laugh.

While talking, do not tell them your life story of how your mom hates you, your dog died, your dad left your mom, your employer is the devil himself, and how you got turned down for the third time when trying to get food stamps and social security because of your anger managment issues.

Smile at them and dont glare. We know that lady down the hall is really hot, but the hungry slaver hound staring kinda makes the ladies fear you.

As always, your mileage may vary.

When it comes to PvP, I am like a chiwawa hanging from a grizzley bears pair of wrinklies for dear life.

1-Up Mushroom
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#29 - 2011-12-07 02:46:22 UTC
By not playing this game as a girl Lol
5 Senses In A Person... 4 Seasons In A Year... 3 Colors In A Stoplight... 2 Poles On The Earth... ONLY 1-UP MUSHROOM!!!  If You Like My Sig, Like Me!   Remember EVE is EVErything!
Halcyon Ingenium
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#30 - 2011-12-07 02:51:30 UTC
Ms Sexy wrote:
Hi i very lonely, i get sad at night and cwy my self to sleewp somtimes.
How does one get a real life girl friend?
I am 32 years old.

Try not crying like a *****. Also wrong forum.

By the way, since we're already talking, do you want to buy a rifter? I've got the cheapest rifters in Metropolis. If you can find a cheaper rifter, buy it!

SpaceSquirrels
#31 - 2011-12-07 02:51:39 UTC
Girls dont come to you... And dont ask themselves out. (Though if you find one of those for the love of god dont **** it up!)

Shower.
Have a job... They say money doesnt buy you love... It does improve your bargaining position though.
Don't live with your parents.
Dont live like a shlub.

Thats just the basics.
Krios Ahzek
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#32 - 2011-12-07 02:51:52 UTC
Olleybear wrote:
You have to show the money to get the honey.

More seriously:

Wash yourself everyday.

Floss. If you dont floss, try it, then smell the floss to see what anyone that is talking to you smells when you dont floss.

Wear new clothes, they dont have to be expensive, just new. Your 15 year old favorite shirt that has animal grease stains on the front isnt going to cut it.

Talk and joke. Ladies are more comfortable around people who can interact with them verbaly and make them laugh.

While talking, do not tell them your life story of how your mom hates you, your dog died, your dad left your mom, your employer is the devil himself, and how you got turned down for the third time when trying to get food stamps and social security because of your anger managment issues.

Smile at them and dont glare. We know that lady down the hall is really hot, but the hungry slaver hound staring kinda makes the ladies fear you.

As always, your mileage may vary.


Also if you couldn't figure this out by yourself you're screwed, and also poor and homeless unless by inheritance

 Though All Men Do Despise Us

Xenuria
#33 - 2011-12-07 02:53:00 UTC
Girls are Mean!
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#34 - 2011-12-07 03:07:19 UTC
Alara IonStorm wrote:
Surfin's PlunderBunny wrote:
Alara IonStorm wrote:
Find someone who is a loner. Get to know them and turn them against there friends and family. Worm your way into every aspect of there life and make them depend on you emotionally as there sole source of support. Financially too if you can swing it. Make them burn all there bridges and then get them while they are vulnerable.

If you get bored with them feel free to drug them and tell everyone they overdosed before restarting the cycle.

If you want non Sociopathic advise I would say your on the wrong forum.


Helps if they're already an addict to said drug, makes it easier to get away with it.

This really OP.

Generally if they are addicted from the get go they are easier to manipulate. Pain Meds and Amphetamines are a good place to start, they usually haven't dug the hole to deep yet. Mental Illness helps, depression, social anxiety stuff like that.

Remember they are sneaky, trying to pretend they are Ok. Look for head down, slow walking and shying away from looking at you directly in the eye. Usually quite until you talk them then the desperate ones tend to ramble and open up about everything. Sneak in comments that make them feel inadequate but don't depress them to much that they spiral on you.

Gotta find just the right amount of hopelessness.


You could also go all out with the emotional abuse until they off themselves and your hands will be totally clean. Though you do have to separate them from their friends and family so they don't catch on.

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny

Krios Ahzek
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#35 - 2011-12-07 03:09:20 UTC
ITT: Humanity's best and brightest

 Though All Men Do Despise Us

Killie
Space Buddies
#36 - 2011-12-07 03:11:12 UTC
lol for the love of god...... sociopaths.......
Krios Ahzek
Royal Amarr Institute
Amarr Empire
#37 - 2011-12-07 03:14:29 UTC
Killie wrote:
lol for the love of god...... sociopaths.......


And psychiatrists, if you are to be beliebed

 Though All Men Do Despise Us

Nova Fox
Novafox Shipyards
#38 - 2011-12-07 03:19:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Nova Fox
I let a bunch of coworkers fill out my E-haromy questionair to try to be honest as possible as people typically lie about themselves to fulfill some sorta quotent for thier egos and got no results,
The webstie told me that I was too good to be true?

Well you know what they say if you want something done right gotta do it yoruself

BTW what not to do on online sites.
eHarmony Fail
Some lewd language concerns if you that easily offended.

Dust 514's CPM 1 Iron Wolf Saber Eve mail me about Dust 514 issues.

Jaroslav Unwanted
Brutor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#39 - 2011-12-07 03:22:13 UTC
Karadion wrote:
You already have a girlfriend. It's your left hand.


How is it said..

hey, i must say something, if i may

I never ****** ten, but once i ****** five "toes"/"two's"

That count..
Surfin's PlunderBunny
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#40 - 2011-12-07 03:41:25 UTC
Karadion wrote:
You already have a girlfriend. It's your left hand.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsuL6tRlijo

"Little ginger moron" ~David Hasselhoff 

Want to see what Surf is training or how little isk Surf has?  http://eveboard.com/pilot/Surfin%27s_PlunderBunny