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So you have just become CCPs new CEO!

First post First post
Author
Tebizla
#41 - 2014-06-23 14:01:08 UTC
Sell pay to win items and watch hilarity ensue of course ...

Then again not everyone likes to extract tears as much as I do. OopsEvil

Obviously not a forum / spy / market alt ...

Black Panpher
CastleKickers
Rote Kapelle
#42 - 2014-06-23 14:01:33 UTC
Ban all the **** posters off the forums.
Dinsdale Pirannha
Pirannha Corp
#43 - 2014-06-23 14:35:07 UTC
Me, CEO.....

Clearly, I would have had to already get buy-in from the board of directors and investors on my plans.
I would have told them to expect a massive PR campaign against any changes I implemented, a sizable short term drop in subs, very likely outside attacks to bring down the internet connections and possibly internal sabotage.

An incomplete list in 1st 90 days, in no particular order:

1. The dissolution of the CSM. It would be replaced in the future in some format that far more equally represents the demographics of the player base.

2. All ISD's in-game affiliations would be made public. Not ingame names, but what group they are with.

3. Immediate sit downs with all senior game designers, who would also be required to show all in-game affiliations, views of what Eve should be, and it's direction. Not all would be with the company 90 days after I started.

4. An immediate beef up of the employee group responsible for dealing with RMT and other security matters. These new high tech sleuths would have no prior experience with Eve, but experts at tracking down people doing bad things. I would give everyone 30 days amnesty from my initial announcement to cease all RMT operations, then implement the draconian measures described below:

If caught engaging in RMT sellings after that 30 day warning period, all RMT sellers would be publicly outed with their ingame name and affiliations on that account, plus any other accounts they have. If systematic RMT'ing can be demonstrated, to my satisfaction, to be happening on a corporate or alliance level, that corporation or alliance will find after downtime one day, they would have lost all assets, sov, and the entire corporate wallet, and the entire directorship, banned for life.

5. Dealing with the fact that Eve has 2 huge problems:
a. High sec players, the bread and butter of the Eve sub base, are under attack in-game and out of game by developers with badly skewed visions of what Eve should be.
b. A massively stagnant, and incredibly boring, sov null sec, brought about by a few individuals who quite brilliantly, but also ruthlessly, exploited every possible avenue to create the mess that exists today.

The ways that would be fixed are myriad, but some of the low-hanging fruit would be easy to implement:
a. Concord response times are improved by a factor of 4 in all space in the immediate short term, at least until other solutions can be implemented. Ultimately, suicide ganking for the purpose of tears and driving people from the game would be made an VERY expensive activity.

b. Though certainly not an immediate change: The creation of a player based police force, who when enlisting would be handed a Concord class ship, and complete and perfect knowledge of the locations of all players who partake in suicide ganking. The Concord ship would only allow actions against said griefers. Any action by a player inside a Concord ship would not within the narrow parameter of destroying grifers would result in a permanent ban from the Concord police force, at the very least.

c. Anyone with a less than -6 rating in high sec will not be allowed to dock in any station OR POS, AND not use stargates. Any ship like an Orca they get a ship from will incur the wrath of Concord.

d. All jump bridges and all jump drive fuel requirements overnight go up 100 times. Jump freighters and Black-Ops driven ships are exempt from this.

e. A freeze on Crius. That would be followed by a much more fair and balanced changes implemented, where ALL regions of space have equal refining capabilities and manufacturing costs. That means 100% refine is possible in high sec, low sec , null sec, and wormholes, among many other things. Although I find it reasonable from a lore perspective that re-processing finished products should not be 100%, a 50% base is far too painful for high sec mission runners, and 100% reprocess would stay until a more fair number could be found. Many many other things within Crius would be dumped, many others tweaked for fairness.

6. Dealing with the grid lock of massive organizations within null sec is a huge and complex problem, but 3 concepts would be slowly fleshed out, over time.
a. Supercaps would be far more expensive to build, move, protect and flat-out use. Supercap online is just idiotic.
b. Party to that, Blob Online is death for Eve. Through ingame mechanics, and social engineering, it will be removed, but will require sea changes to null sec mechanics.
c. One of those changes would be the implementation of Dynamic System Sec Status. (DSSS). As a system is "civilized" with more player traffic, ratting, industry, etc, the sec status slowly rises, and the value of the rats and resources lower. In theory, eventually, a -1.0 system could become a high sec system, and Concord shows up. Whether an alliance can keep sov in such a system would require much thought. Conversely, some high sec backwater, if unused, could slowly become a -1.0 system in theory. DSSS would be designed so groups have to be more nomadic, constantly fighting over dwindling resources in an area and planning on moves to richer areas. (how do you like push-pull now Greyscale?) Also part of that idea of resources dwindling is moon mining would be abolished, replaced with moon-goo found in asteroids that can randomly appear in ANY system with a sec status below 4.0.


That would be just the start of the changes I would implement. Many vested interests in the game would be hugely angry with them and would at the very least, quit the game in a very public and destructive way. Quite likely, they would also try to destroy CCP with hacking and other internet attacks. The first 6-12 months of my tenure as CEO would be very rocky, to say the least. But ultimately, Eve would emerge as a better game appealing to more people than today. It is supposed to be fun to play. But as of now, for many it is not and they are leaving.
Mallak Azaria
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#44 - 2014-06-23 14:47:16 UTC
Dinsdale Pirannha wrote:
A bunch of silly things


My idea is better.

This post was lovingly crafted by a member of the Goonwaffe Posting Cabal, proud member of the popular gay hookup site somethingawful.com, Spelling Bee, Grammar Gestapo & #1 Official Gevlon Goblin Fanclub member.

Tauranon
Weeesearch
CAStabouts
#45 - 2014-06-23 14:55:47 UTC
Dinsdale Pirannha wrote:


grrrr goons.


Dinsdale Pirannha
Pirannha Corp
#46 - 2014-06-23 15:02:59 UTC
Tauranon wrote:
Dinsdale Pirannha wrote:


grrrr goons.




Errr....do you see ANY group in-game mentioned in my post?
Solecist Project
#47 - 2014-06-23 15:07:03 UTC  |  Edited by: Solecist Project
Unban Ero.

Rehire CCP SoundWave.

Let him create his vision of global faction warfare affecting everything and everyone.

Remove rookiecorps and replace them with the choice of joining BRAVE, EVEUNI, RvB
and there's another one good for this but I forgot the name.

That way people get planted into communities and can choose to play alone,
which is infinitely better than being forced to play alone, needing to find friends.

Friends would be included in the standard package and nobody would teach them crap
like how they should mine or run missions and hide from people or whatever.

then I'd reinstate CCP Hellmar, give me a nice 200k euro bonus,
give 190k to my parents. I'll watch the subs rise from my chair,
my parents in holiday for the rest of their life and that's it.

Oh and... when you join the game you will be at war with everybody ...
... until you declare and pay for peace! Good bye, carebears!
Hello actual players!


The End.

That ringing in your ears you're experiencing right now is the last gasping breathe of a dying inner ear as it got thoroughly PULVERISED by the point roaring over your head at supersonic speeds. - Tippia

Hiyora Akachi
Blood Alcohol Content
T O P S H E L F
#48 - 2014-06-23 15:13:09 UTC
Fully implement WiS, harvest all the tears.

Move something to null, so people can Grr Goons about it.
Aiwha
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#49 - 2014-06-23 15:33:30 UTC
Everyday I'd pick a four digit number out of a hat, anybody with that number in their SP at a specific time that day gets banned.

Sanity is fun leaving the body.

Remiel Pollard
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#50 - 2014-06-23 15:36:17 UTC
Remove Concord. And faction police.

“Some capsuleers claim that ECM is 'dishonorable' and 'unfair'. Jam those ones first, and kill them last.” - Jirai 'Fatal' Laitanen, Pithum Nullifier Training Manual c. YC104

Pine Marten
Doomheim
#51 - 2014-06-23 15:38:49 UTC
Having all ccp employees make their affiliations public SHOULD have been a policy from day one.

How are we supposed to think that jump fuel changes are supposed to do anything to a bloc? They have trillions. It only hurts the smaller folk. Doesnt hurt those that some ccp employees are affiliated with.

It was an inside job.
Kijo Rikki
Killboard Padding Services
#52 - 2014-06-23 15:40:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Kijo Rikki
I would create an EvE Online amusement park. The centerpiece of the attraction will be call "EvE is real". Riders get into a car dressed like a rifter and they will drive through a tunnel, upon exiting the tunnel they are met by armed gunmen with ak-47s and rocket launchers that have set up a blockade and the riders must attempt to break through or pull off a 360 and haul ass back through the tunnel. I predict this will be a smashing success and will be in all the papers.

You make a valid point, good Sir or Madam. 

Herzog Wolfhammer
Sigma Special Tactics Group
#53 - 2014-06-23 15:42:10 UTC  |  Edited by: Herzog Wolfhammer
Let all ships warp from system to system with their own warp drives, to adjacent systems or far away, as is done in all major sci-fi genres.

Bring back DEEEEP Space!

Remiel Pollard
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#54 - 2014-06-23 15:43:12 UTC
Dinsdale Pirannha wrote:
Why I'll never be a game developer


Cool story bro.

“Some capsuleers claim that ECM is 'dishonorable' and 'unfair'. Jam those ones first, and kill them last.” - Jirai 'Fatal' Laitanen, Pithum Nullifier Training Manual c. YC104

Kinis Deren
Mosquito Squadron
D0GS OF WAR
#55 - 2014-06-23 15:47:39 UTC
AWOX party - big time!
Nerath Naaris
Pink Winged Unicorns for Peace Love and Anarchy
#56 - 2014-06-23 16:28:07 UTC  |  Edited by: Nerath Naaris
Make the tax rate of NPC Corps dynamic: New Players start with 5% tax. This rate is raised by 1% every month till it reaches 50%.
Every 30 days spent in a player Corps this rate drops by 1%.
This tax rate should apply to every ISK income, not only missioning (automatic consfiscation of a percentage of freshly mined ore when docking?).

Je suis Paris // Köln // Brüssel // Orlando // Nice // Würzburg, München, Ansbach // Saint-Étienne-du-Rouvray

Je suis Berlin // Fort Lauderdale // London // St. Petersburg // Stockholm

Je suis [?]

Bagrat Skalski
Koinuun Kotei
#57 - 2014-06-23 16:45:00 UTC  |  Edited by: Bagrat Skalski
ImYourMom wrote:
So what would you do if you became CCPs new CEO?


I would quit and return to my current job.
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#58 - 2014-06-23 17:18:25 UTC
As CEO, my first duty is to boost company morale.

I would accomplish this by implementation of Muffin Monday, Doughnut Thursday and Pie Friday.

All employees who have disagreements with one another will be forced to duel in inflatable sumo suits in front of the entire company, or in lieu of an audience the match can be recorded and dubbed over with audio from Godzilla movies.

All CCP promotional videos will now be done in the style of a Mexican Soap Opera. I would encourage someone to have someone elses baby with their mysterious identical twin. Someone will need to change their name to Maria. Sorry, but rules is rules.

The art department would be dedicated to the implementation of Muffin Decals for ships. This project is due in 4 days, even though the sheet clearly says 14. I have faith in you guys.. that being said.. screw this up and im dying you all blue for a week.

CONCORD shall be given clown horns. The last sound you hear in highsec will be HONKA-HONKA.

Japanese school girl uniforms will be added to the NES. These will be made available for both female and male avatars. Team Smurf will be in charge as soon as they do the Muffin Decals. Art Dept will be known as Team Smurf after their failure in meeting the Muffin Decal deadline.

PLEX 4 BACON. Pretty self explanatory here.

Fiction department will be tasked to write all inter-office memos and official correspondence. Use of the word Hodor will be encouraged.

All CONCORD billboards in Highsec will now display 'HTFU'.

Fanfest will be expanded. More live bands will be booked. Eve Online song parodies will be top priority.

New Eve Monument erected. Giant Titanium Thorax. Pun will be intended.

Bombs and bubbles will be added to highsec and lowsec. Hilarity will ensue. There will be much rejoicing. Yay.

Aura will be replaced with Morgan Freeman. Samuel L Jackson will be the backup if Freeman cannot be reached.

Eve Online movie will be made. I don't care if its done with actual actors, CGI, Anime, whatever. Itll happen, itll be glorious. No doors will open. People will be puzzled. Ships will explode. Lens flares will be kept to a minimum.

New swag will be added to Eve store. Will need volunteers to poke an eye out in order to model the monocle. Free monocle will be given for compensation.

This list can literally go on forever.

The smell of freshly made waffles will be pumped into the central air system. There will be no waffles.

People caught drinking during the workday will be made to chug the whole bottle. Worked for dads everywhere with smoking.

Wednesdays will be sexy lingerie day. No exceptions. I will be getting a full body wax just so it wont be that weird. Will stream for PLEX.... or PLEX to not stream.. pretty hairy dude.. could go either way.

Cake. Now with less lies.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?

DaReaper
Net 7
Cannon.Fodder
#59 - 2014-06-23 17:25:35 UTC
I'll give a serious answer.

As ceo, you would not have a lot of dealing with game design, so that's not a very good place to be If you want to change eve.

So I would be doing what is going on right now, focusing on the EvE IP, getting valk out, I would of green lite legion by now *Hilmar green light the damn thing already*

I'd push to integrate all the games ASAP.

If this venture was profitable, i'd restart WoD.

I prolly would have stated a side project of a complete eve rewrite to modern code, and limped along till that was ready. Then I would launch the rewrite with valk and legion all integrated and make the new eden ip one huge universe with the launch of "eve 2" (which would just be a re-write and a carry over of old data)

but that's me

OMG Comet Mining idea!!! Comet Mining!

Eve For life.

Felicity Love
Doomheim
#60 - 2014-06-23 17:31:22 UTC
ImYourMom wrote:
So what would you do if you became CCPs new CEO?



WIS would become "THE" priority... DUST, flushed so fast it would make people's head spin like Linda Blair's finest performance... and there would be certain "commercial" deals that would appear ingame, making WIS just that much more entertaining.

That would be before lunch.

Blink

"EVE is dying." -- The Four Forum Trolls of the Apocalypse.   ( Pick four, any four. They all smell.  )