Intergalactic Summit

I started penning this about 18 months ago when I was in Electus Matari. We had an ongoing private war with PIE, and unlike other war targets they had an admirable trait about them. Whatever that was I felt compelled to write this song, it's taken some re-writes but finally, and after a test run that seemingly went well on the Summit, I'd like to present it to you all here.

I should point out that while some of it is infact truth, there are large bits that obviously are written with intended comical effect.

Except the verse on Rodj Blake, that's all true.


So this Ladies and Gentlemen, is Amarrian PIE.


A long long time ago,
Some Godheads got together
And formed Praetoria Imperialis Exhuberis.

Well that name was stupidly long,
It nearly didn't fit in my song,
So they needed a short version pretty fast.

So they sat down and had a think,
Till someone said "How about PIE Inc?
It's short and rather snappy."
And with that they were happy.

So off they went with Amarrian Pride,
At their hands many Matari fried.
But the killboards never lied,
Those slavers often died.


So bye bye Miss Amarrian PIE.
Drove the Pilgrim to her Harbi and it drained her cap dry.
The Slaver scum could only facepalm and sigh,
Crying "This'll be the day where I die.
This'll be the day where I die."


They've pilots of noted fame,
Many people already know their names,
I'd like to mention just a few.

Like the Legendary Rodj Blake
Who's reputation makes the Rookies shake.
Like they've got trapped nerves from head to toe.

Well I know he's been in Golden Fleets
And he's tasted victories eversweet.
But he still can't get far
With his lust for Evanda Char!

She's said his come on attempts were rather dull,
Now he spends his nights feeling rather small
Resigned to sleeping with her toy doll
I guess his spirit died.


Now he's singing, bye bye Miss Amarrian PIE.
Drove the Pilgrim to her Harbi and it drained her cap dry.
The Slaver scum could only facepalm and sigh,
Crying "This'll be the day where I die.
This'll be the day where I die."


Archbishop is a Pious man,
"Educating" is his master plan.
But even he has troubles so.

You won't see him doin' a barrel roll,
But on IGS trying to save your soul.
Spreading the word of his God is his major goal.

But his sermons come to mighty lengths,
Which he thought would be a major strength.
The replies all come at speed,
"TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ!"

His words fall short on impatient eyes,
If only he'd consider a downsize,
The 21st would reach recruitment highs.
For now, his message dies.


Instead they're singing, bye bye Miss Amarrian PIE.
Drove the Pilgrim to her Harbi and it drained her cap dry.
The Slaver scum could only facepalm and sigh,
Crying "This'll be the day where I die.
This'll be the day where I die."



Watch out for Laerise Fierach
She's no problem stabbing you in the back
Even if you're Pro-Amarr.

Known mostly for her cruel remarks,
Her bite's less than her noisy bark.
Which is tasteless quite often pretty dark.

She doesn't care to who she talking,
Larry's voicebox keeps on squawking.
I don't think she'll shut her trap,
Till someone gives that ***** a slap.

I don't know if the Khanid ever tried,
To show she has a nicer side.
More likely she brushed all that aside
And so her civility died.


So I'm singing bye bye Miss Amarrian PIE.
Drove the Pilgrim to her Harbi and it drained her cap dry.
The Slaver scum could only facepalm and sigh,
Crying "This'll be the day where I die.
This'll be the day where I die."


PIE Inc are as faithful as they come.
They're God's most devout daughters and sons.
At least their IGS posts would tell you so.

They're part of that never ending war
It's gone so long no one even keeps score
Over who's even bloody winning anyway.

So Matari pilots often go out flying
Hoping to hear the screams of PIE dying.
They hope to get them locked up,
But mostly find them docked up.

They don't know why they even tried
Or thought they'd get to whip Amarrian hide.
But then they all realised,
The slavers had already died.


So now they're singing, bye bye Miss Amarrian PIE.
Drove my Pilgrim to her Harbi and it drained her cap dry.
The Slaver scum could only facepalm and sigh,
Crying "This'll be the day where I die.
This'll be the day where I die."

We're all singing, bye bye Miss Amarrian PIE.
Drove the Pilgrim to her Harbi and it drained her cap dry.
The Slaver scum could only facepalm and sigh,
Crying "This'll be the day where I die."



I'm having a slight difficulty with my recording studio at the moment, so you'll have to forgive me, I wanted to launch this as a fully vocalised piece. But I hope you can get the gist of it, for those who want a tuned version if you ever see me in a bar, buy me a drink and you'll get a verse or two.


Caellach.

I witnessed this in the Summit and I'm still not sure what to think...

I witnessed the debut... and my lungs, they have Starsi in them.

The funniest thing I have heard in years. Bravo!

Hmmm... OK.

Alright Caellach, we're getting married tomorrow.

No excuses.

Thanks for the good morning. Having something to laugh about on my desk when I wake up is rare and so very welcome these days.

"TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ" indeed. Heh.

Disgraceful slander.

There once was a pilot named Mr Marellus
Who failed to see what the problem was
He took a old song Apart
because he thought it be good Sport
To slam yet Again the Amarrians

Now some would like to argue
That the correct reply be war to ensue
but what Caellach doesn't see
is that we will let the matter be
After we point out his lack of rhyming

Now before you call me out on lack of Sport
Allow me a second to please Retort
So many people come to this stage
In our day and age
And threaten each other unending.

So since no one plans over this to undock
It seems with our pens we must lock
though it fills me with glee
that is took you months three
In order to formulate this 'insult.'

So in the idea of Mutually Assured Destruction
It seems I must reply in the same function
To show Amarr wont be outdone
by some Gallentean Son
With a bad taste in parody.

Lord Crases work made in 10 minutes. Original.

No they don't. That's imitation.

Lord Kithrus cried out in frustration,
"I must one-up Cael's demonstration!"
And in his bid to save time
He ignored rhythm and rhyme
And left himself open to humiliation.

There once was a Gally named Cael
Who could rhyme funny words without fail
He made some Amarr sad
While others got mad
And wrote him a bunch of hate-mail

Before long there was a thunderous host
Of God-botherers bothered the most
Who claimed not to care
But their lies were laid bare
When they simply kept bumping his post

Then along came a man from Khanid
Who shouldn't have tried, but he did
His words didn't rhyme,
Not even half of the time
And so he looked like a bit of a flid

But lo! Came a man from Intaki
With a reputation for being real snarky
He didn't desist!
He just couldn't resist
Making fun of religious heirarchy.

He said "Kithrus! You failed yet again!
Truly you're the least among men,
You're not a poet
And boy, do you show it
You're now banned from using a pen."