EVE General Discussion

It shouldn't, most of the bad elements burned out/ballgaged/otherwise dealt with recently so aside from the usual suspects being typically suspicious it's all good again.

And again Remiel,
You have my respect and I'll look forward to the argument you can't resist getting your teeth onto. o7

What I find most interesting is that our society of "normal" and "civilized" people, make persons like OP feel marginalized yet he can find a home and friends between a bunch of space-pixel obsessed gamers that assume the identity of immortal pilots in the 230th and 1/2 century.

We may judge, we may flame, we may grin sadistically while we blow each other''s space pixels apart - but we will always be intrinsically meritocratic.

Depression sucks. I'm glad you have a perspective on it, and I appreciate your forthrightness in coming forward and talking about this.

Judo-throw that old demon off your back and give him a good boot to the face for me.

Thank you for sharing your post. Enjoy the Kronos patch and good luck!

Many players say EVE is more than a game, it's a community, a virtual universe.

I don't really think of EVE too much as a normal video game since it feels more than that, all other video games don't have the feeling of another universe, living economy, huge support community, the amazing CCP. CCP deserves more than a medal

OFC though EVE is not real life, there's the line between real life and EVE.

Pilot Remiel,

You can add me as another friend indeed!! Your courage to stand up and admit to your condition is in it's own right admirable and very well regarded. I want to let you know also as others have you can evemail me anytime 24/7. This community beyond all of it's trolling, back stabbing and all is really a very CARING community. I know, I been well recieved when on my main character (Admiral Graabeerd Khagan) when I revealed I had won my fight against Colorectal Cancer stage 4.

In closing, from my heart and soul I applaud and salute you. Fly safe!!

Every depression is different and those who try to classify people with depression into a pattern that they can read about in some medical book are mostly mistaken in their understanding of you as an individual.

As someone who has battled MDD for many years, I can only share what finally worked for me. I can not assume or guarantee that it can help you or anyone else, but I think it's worth sharing. These are all simple steps that sometimes look so hard when the feeling kicks in hard, but I've noticed that somehow there's always enough energy to do some of it:

- Use creativity. Any kind of creativity. I've found programming creative, for example. The important thing to always have in mind is that the products of your creativity are for you and for you alone. There's no need for a burden or risk of not being understood by those who look at your creation. People have different interests and tastes and there will be almost certainly many of those who will not understand it or try to devalue it and deliberately or non-deliberately hurt you in the process. Later will come the phase when you are ready to share your creations with the world without fear of rejection, since at that point you will know that you are capable of creating so much more than those who criticize your work. I know, it may sound a bit egocentric at first, but self-esteem is the best weapon against depression.

The best part is that you already have an upper hand when it comes to creativity since there are many scientifically studied and confirmed links between autism and extreme creativity. Even some of the best and brightest minds in the history of humanity are linked with autism.

- Run into art. It can be music, paintings, sculptures, digital art, film, or even EVE ... or best of all: everything combined. Each person is different and unique when it comes to a genre in any art form. For example, I consider Juno Reactor a first class musical genius and that every track they make is a form of powerful art. And I don't mind mixing it with Rachmaninoff, Maurice Ravel, Seb Taylor (Kaya Project, Shakta), Noisia, Bjork, Thomas Bergersen and Mike Oldfield. The point of listing these is that art is what you consider to be art - there are no limits, standards or limitations for what art is. Art is liberating, it expands horizons and have an advantage of being always available and easily consumable whenever you need it.

- Immersion is good. It can be achieved with books, movies and great vast games like EVE Online. It's also good to take the immersion at your own pace and choose how and what you want to do. It's also completely normal to "disconnect" for a couple of days, like as you are going to do now with "carebear mode" in EVE. Some people, including me, simply need some time for themselves in order to regenerate their social energy and there's nothing bad or strange about that.

- Meditation is a fantastic tool to battle depression, if you are interested in it. And I'm not only talking about classic meditation advertised all over the place with yoga, connections to spiritual and religious beliefs and Indian acoustic/ambiental music. No... meditation can be done in many different ways, or to say it better - in a way that is best for you. My meditation pose is simply sitting relaxed in the most comfortable and natural way for me. My meditation music is very far away from what is generally considered as a good meditation music and sometimes include extremely deep Drum and Bass, good quality Dubstep (Mt. Eden comes to mind first) or even Neurofunk. Many would say that it's not meditation if it's not done with ambiental or Goa music, but the whole point of meditation is to find and strengthen your inner self which can only be done in an environment that is the most natural to you. You'll know that you are doing it right if you feel relaxed, have a bright look on things around you and have a slight natural smile on your face after the meditation session is over.

- Exercise, or any kind of physical activity is useful as well. You don't need to set goals, push yourself to the limits or do anything extreme if you don't feel like it. You also don't really need a purpose or an envisioned desired effect of your workout or activity. The purpose can be activity for itself and your enjoyment in it. When you don't set workout goals or expectations, you are really doing it at your own pace and for you own enjoyment. You can take days or weeks of breaks at a time, not feel guilty about it and start doing it again when and if you feel like it. But the main thing is - workout and physical activity helps a great deal.

- Last but not least, friends, even those who you never met IRL, are very important. EVE is a great place for this and I'm glad that you understood what EVE is really about - it's about friends. Opponents, corp mates, war targets, gankers, gank targets, reds, blues,... it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. And I'm sure that somewhere along your EVE journey you will find, if you haven't already, at least a couple of individuals with who you can talk about pretty much anything that comes to your mind. That's the real beauty of EVE and its community.

At the end of this wall of text, I just wanted to say this: In this post I have used "I' and "my" in some cases. Don't get me wrong, this post is not about me or a need to boost my ego. It's about sharing the experiences with you. After getting out of a long time depression that have been very deep at times, I have gathered much experience with battling it and I simply feel the need to share that experience with anyone who could potentially benefit from it. Whether any of the above will work for you I really can not say, but it's worth sharing it if there is even a slightest chance to unlock a great person that is usually hidden behind a thick wall of depression.

Good luck with your depression.

o7

Good Luck

Autism sucks, only reason I'm even aware that I'm starting to act nasty to people (and even then I miss it occasionally) is because I had to go to therapy for the first 14-15 years of my life to learn to express emotions, even if the expression is a learned behaviour and so more an artificial representation of my mood or outright lie.

But yeah, I feel ya, dipping in and out of depression is just one of those things, gotta have friends that know about it and are willing to do more than just put up with it, but actually help ya out, else wise the spite ends up making you a bitter person.

Doesnt help much when the first image people get when the word autism comes up is a drooling fatass unable to tie his own shoes without mother's help raging on call of duty.