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If you could evil CCP CEO for a year, what would you do?

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Author
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Cavalira
Habemus
#21 - 2014-05-25 09:07:42 UTC
I would do the world a favor, and close down EVE online.
Jade Blackwind
#22 - 2014-05-25 09:12:12 UTC  |  Edited by: Jade Blackwind
1. Mass not-so-random bannings, starting with the owners of Jita spam bots, mining bots, marketing bots, people who were already permabanned but came back with alts, etc. When they create more alts, ban those as well.

2. Ban ISBoxer, then see 1.

3. Make all the planets and moons orbit, screwing every bookmark in the universe.

4. Player-grade NPCs with Sleeper AI everywhere. And they have dedicated tacklers, neuters and remote repair. And they pod.

5. NPC governments suddenly grow some balls and decline docking and cloning rights to the known "criminals". The revoked cloning contracts are transferred to the random stations in NPC nullsec.

6. Concord becomes somewhat semi-tankable (on par with C6 Sleepers, except you still can't have capitals in highsec). Evading Concord is no longer an exploit. Concord reinforces over time. Concord pods.

7. "Highways" are removed. Pockets of lowsec are introduced between empires.

8. Gates shoot players into a random point within 10-20 AU from the target sun. Fleets land together. Gate camping is no more.

9. Empires start "colonizing" nullsec, starting with Providence, with a few pockets going lowsec with navy stations. Concord incursions in random nullsec (think C4-C5 sleepers).

10. Valkyrie VR exclusive silliness is cancelled immediately, Valkyrie is developed as a part of Legion (Think War Thunder, planes / ground forces).

11. The Door opens. It opens to a maze of dark cyberpunkish streets/corridors where players can freely shoot and shank each other. In between there are a few shady bars with gambling and exotic dancers available. Bar fights are a minigame.

12. Pistols, Nova knives, trained slaver hounds (that leap and bite) are introduced to the NEX store. There is also the option of taking a free crowbar when leaving CQ.
Irya Boone
The Scope
#23 - 2014-05-25 09:14:42 UTC  |  Edited by: Irya Boone
WIS.
1.Make SUNS die sometimes and one day .. in JITA

2.Change Moon and juicy NPc spawn places every 6 months in Null sec.

3.No Off grid Boost :)

4.Automatic removal of NPC corp if your avatar has X skillpoints ( X skillpoints =skillpoints for piloting a freighter)

5.Nerf lvl 4 missions to make you do it in groups

6. Open dat damn door.

7.Low sec between empires!!!

8.and most of all if you lit cyno the titan has to come to the cyno TOO to bridge people With him !!

CCP it's time to remove Off Grid Boost and Put Them on Killmail too, add Logi on killmails .... Open that damn door !!

you shall all bow and pray BoB
Naomi Hale
#24 - 2014-05-25 10:15:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Naomi Hale
If I were evil, change all ship skins to hot pink Hello Kitty hulls then charge plex/aur to change each individual ship back...

I'm Naomi Hale and this is my favourite thread on the forums.
Sapheni
Black Moon Mining
#25 - 2014-05-25 10:23:46 UTC
Xearal wrote:
Create 'Concord' incursions into pirate held space and sov space, have them appear out of nowhere and concordoken people on random gates, including their pods, blow up POSses and POCOs at random, warp in on ratters and blow them up as well.


+1
This made me laugh. The concept could be tested in W-space with Sleepers instead of Concord. No wait, with Sleeper dreadnoughts.
D20 Rollings
Doomheim
#26 - 2014-05-25 10:27:45 UTC
Make all guns shoot flowers, then youtube it. Oh, and give all my alts trillions of isk.

I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe...  Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like  tears... in... rain. Time... to die...
Logan Revelore
Symbiotic Systems
#27 - 2014-05-25 11:18:22 UTC  |  Edited by: Logan Revelore
Reboot all characters, going back to square one in terms of all SP, ISK, assets and corporations/alliances. All in the name of fairness to new players of course, since the game needs to be and feel accessible.
Sato Page
Auctor Illuminatas Infinitum
#28 - 2014-05-25 11:22:00 UTC  |  Edited by: Sato Page
Make James 315 the chief game designer of EvE

Dinsdale Pirannha for [u]CEO [/u]of [u]CCP[/u]
WASPY69
Xerum.
#29 - 2014-05-25 11:25:15 UTC
Reset all standings. Oh the hilarity and tears that would ensue.

This signature intentionally left blank
Marsha Mallow
#30 - 2014-05-25 11:42:06 UTC
Have every supercap automatically self destruct when the owner logs in

Change mining so that player ships have to be mined for minerals

Recode NPCs so they randomly swear/harangue people in local

1mil unrecoverable sp loss on podding/per forum post

Remove all the NeX store clothing (and add pink underwear to avatars)

Unban Ero and have the Devs go do the bonus room

Swap sov about (or reset it to a previous year)

Remove all the ammo from game and make bumping the only damage type

Ripard Teg > For the morons in the room:

Sweets > U can dd my face any day
Riot Girl
You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack
#31 - 2014-05-25 11:56:49 UTC
I'd license the game as a Games Workshop franchise and replace all the ship models with space marine models to make up for the game's original design flaws, which can never be reversed but at least can be somewhat corrected for an overall improvement to the Eve universe.

Oh god.
Prince Kobol
#32 - 2014-05-25 12:07:54 UTC
Disable local everywhere, sit back and watch the multitude of threads full tasty tasty tears
Pix Severus
Empty You
#33 - 2014-05-25 12:19:55 UTC
Fedos must now be fed 1 item per day or they will disappear from your inventory forever.
You can automate this process by putting your fedo in a container filled with items, but it will consume 2 items per day this way, and stacks don't count.
The fedo will eat any item you have, and always eats the most expensive item first, so if you left it in the hangar along with your PLEX and officer mods..

MTU Hunter: Latest Entry - June 12 2017 - Vocal Local 5

MTU Hunting 101: Comprehensive Guide
admiral root
Red Galaxy
#34 - 2014-05-25 12:27:50 UTC
Winchester Steele wrote:
Nerf Hisec.


He said "evil", not "most beneficial for the game".

No, your rights end in optimal+2*falloff
Aranaelia
Doomheim
#35 - 2014-05-25 12:33:13 UTC
Pix Severus wrote:
Fedos must now be fed 1 item per day or they will disappear from your inventory forever.
You can automate this process by putting your fedo in a container filled with items, but it will consume 2 items per day this way, and stacks don't count.
The fedo will eat any item you have, and always eats the most expensive item first, so if you left it in the hangar along with your PLEX and officer mods..


I like this idea. A built-in Fedo Tamagotchi style mini-game is sure to make everyone happy. I'll be implementing this the second Hilmar leaves the building.
BrundleMeth
State War Academy
Caldari State
#36 - 2014-05-25 12:33:28 UTC  |  Edited by: BrundleMeth
WASPY69 wrote:
Reset all standings. Oh the hilarity and tears that would ensue.

Tears?

No...

90% of players simply quit...

And my year would be a 365 days of paid Leave...
Xavier Higdon
Science and Trade Institute
Caldari State
#37 - 2014-05-25 13:28:32 UTC
I'd retire and appoint Dinsdale Piranha as my successor.

/thread
Bohneik Itohn
10.K
#38 - 2014-05-25 13:51:06 UTC
Xavier Higdon wrote:
I'd retire and appoint Dinsdale Piranha as my successor.

/thread



You.... You ****....

Wait, CCP kills kittens now too?!  - Freyya

Are you a forum alt? Have you ever wondered why your experience on the forums is always so frustrating and unrewarding? This may help.
Josef Djugashvilis
#39 - 2014-05-25 14:25:01 UTC
Think twice, act once.

Drone shambles for the past 18 months or so

Loot spew

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DrSmegma
Smegma United
#40 - 2014-05-25 14:38:12 UTC
Jade Blackwind wrote:
1. Mass not-so-random bannings, starting with the owners of Jita spam bots, mining bots, marketing bots, people who were already permabanned but came back with alts, etc. When they create more alts, ban those as well.

2. Ban ISBoxer, then see 1.


Annnnnd bankrupt.
As for the rest, the title said "a year" P

Eve too complicated? Try Astrum Regatta.