Out of Pod Experience

I was standing behind the lamppost, my hand created a small trail in my mind as it moved slowly to my imaginary handgun tucked in my back, and remembered one of my College teachers telling the class "Be ready to fire a gun if you unholster it, into the air ... the air in the lungs of your target" and the classroom laughing, but all she did was smirk and kept teaching us TA techniques for behavioral problem solving and how to break argument chains.
We all have to die, we all know this, some people live their lives without considering it, others just think about it when family or friends die, me I was thinking it clearly but out in the background of my mind, all I had was my silly plan, my gambit of opportunity, my bluff.

And something happened in the car, I could hear muffled arguments, broken voices in my surreal state of awareness.
There was a void within my body and reality, an endless stream of nothingness that whipped back and forth, forcing me into oblivion before my possible final demise.

There was sound, but I could hear nothing.

All sound was interpreted by something within me, I truly felt lost for the briefest of moments, away, so far from everything, and now , in retrospective I wonder if that´s what death upon your shoulders feels like.

And like a bad tide that comes and splashes upon the lives of many, it receded.

The car left, as slowly as it appeared.

My trembling hand in my back, holding my imaginary Makarov was beating my spine furiously, I dared not to believe I was safe. I knew I could not afford that luxury, but I slowly became again myself, sound exploded again in my ears, the wind was background, my surroundings plain and dull once more.

I stared there at the car as it slowly left and began to breathe, but I was still engaged with the plan. In plain view I removed my cellphone from my pocket, a blocky Motorola, and pretended to talk with people as I knew right now that if they returned they had to waste some minutes coming back, so I proceeded to unlock the doors to my house and began to peer through the cracks of the gates, fearful of my would be-assailants return, stopped pretending with my cellphone and decided to go to sleep and not startle anyone in my home.

I felt bad afterwards, I imagined so many other scenarios that could have unfolded, but that’s how it happened, nothing more could be done, except be on the lookout and hope I was off the radar, forever, from those entities.
I still can´t shake that feeling sometimes, I have been robbed at gunpoint, fled strange cars chasing me, worried by people that turned their back on me and threatened me, seen my brother kidnapped, seen my mother in tears after being robbed and many other bad things that come from living in a rapidly deteriorating third world country but it´s like watching old photos.
But that moment, that moment in particular I still remember vividly.

With apprehension and disgust, I never ever want to feel like that again

I had to flee Venezuela for many reasons, that was one of them.

I told no one this before,at least this candidly.

And here I am.

This situation was as awkward as dangerous to me, it was just a bluff, a strange bluff that worked.

I know I am going to love what you have typed out Brujo, but it will have to wait till tomorrow night lmao!!!