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Duct Tape Mechanics - (NZ/AU TZ)
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Angus Thermopollye
#21 - 2011-12-01 11:09:19 UTC
Did you know that if you run in a circle at the speed of light it's theoretically possible to actually stick your own head up your ass? I read a news article about it today online. If it's on the interwebs it must be true. Still recruiting sick bastards btw.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#22 - 2011-12-02 09:44:44 UTC
How do you all feel about fruitcake? It's like my least favorite holiday food ever. It's like trying to eat cardboard with fruit in it. Meh, anyways, we're still recruiting and we'd like you to join up today....or tomorrow...or anytime for that matter. Don't worry if you have questionable sexual practices. We don't frown on that.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#23 - 2011-12-03 03:35:52 UTC
So, slapping the **** out of fast food employees that get your order wrong three times in a row even though you tell them what they got wrong every time is apparently considered assault. Who knew? DTM is still recruiting people of ill repute so sign up today.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#24 - 2011-12-04 08:06:50 UTC
Join today and I will pour a liter of vodka down my throat and insult you verbally on TS until I pass out. Should be a great 5 minutes. Still recruiting.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#25 - 2011-12-05 09:10:46 UTC
A lot of people subscribe to the theory that lots of hard work and preserverence will get you wherever you want to go. DTM, on the other hand, subscribes to the theory that only two things really matter in life...HOOKERS and BLOW. If you believe the same as we do you will fit right in. Join DTM today and support the baby mamas of the world and the vendors on the street.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#26 - 2011-12-06 07:53:35 UTC
We have a female cat. It's in heat. I wish to inflict massive amounts of violence on said cat. I wish it would shut the **** up. Join DTM and I will record my cat so you play it back your endless enjoyment.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
max meridian
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#27 - 2011-12-06 09:12:57 UTC
Bumpage for an excellent alliance member.
Angus Thermopollye
#28 - 2011-12-07 09:10:03 UTC
Thanks for the bump Max. Speaking of bumps, parents should really make sure their children don't play in the road. If I don't update this tomorrow then let it be known I'm probably in a penitentiary. If I'm not in the pen you should join us.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Stoogie
Cadre Assault Force
#29 - 2011-12-07 22:43:04 UTC
bump for old friends.
Angus Thermopollye
#30 - 2011-12-08 09:48:47 UTC
Bumps everywhere! Thanks for the bumps. It's like I've got a forum based STD! Join DTM today and I'll share my bumps!

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#31 - 2011-12-09 11:19:55 UTC  |  Edited by: Angus Thermopollye
So, I'm checking my e-mails and marveling at the exponential amounts of research apparently going into penis (these stars hide the word p3nis btw) enlargement. All I keep thinking to myself is why hasn't this worked yet? Join DTM today and I'll send you one of my lotions for you to try. Maybe you'll get better results.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#32 - 2011-12-10 03:00:34 UTC
As I post this we have 666 views for the ad. It's is appropriate for me to mark this occasion with promises of midget related sexual encounters if you join DTM. That is all.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#33 - 2011-12-11 11:59:09 UTC
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of loose morals, I shall not fear for I have an extra large box of condoms and a steady supply of whiskey. I also have plenty of Duct Tape (Mechanics. Which you should join.)

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#34 - 2011-12-12 11:40:57 UTC  |  Edited by: Angus Thermopollye
Life lesson of the day: Never, under any circumstances, smack an angry, drunk dwarf in the face with an unclean sex toy. It's like waving a red cape in front of a bull. DTM also needs more miners that like to converse about thing such as this and the many other topics I bring up.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Loken Grimsward
Republic University
Minmatar Republic
#35 - 2011-12-12 13:42:37 UTC
Midget sex with drop-bears!!!!
Angus Thermopollye
#36 - 2011-12-14 07:14:36 UTC
So today I fought a fat woman tooth and nail over a Christmas cookie. Fortunately I got the cookie. Unfortunately she ate my arm. This is the defining principle by which DTM strives to live when mining as well. We will sacrafice our arm for ample amounts of rocks. So join today and cut off your arm! (I'm not sure that's a great recruitment line but it does have a certain ring to it.)

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#37 - 2011-12-16 11:59:24 UTC
I have experienced the many variations of love of which no man has any right to have. When I saw her sitting there I thought that this was a relationship destined for the ages. Something so pure that only God must have ordained it.

Yes, Whiskey, I do love you.

If you love whiskey as well you should joing DTM today! And remember, whiskey makes the undesired pain of suprise intercourse less intense.

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#38 - 2011-12-19 07:59:28 UTC
If you're into deep philosophical conversations that expound upon the pointlessness of human existence in the greater universe and how we all fit into the quantum weave of this reality....then you should probably pick a different corp. However, if you're into discussing booze, fabulous boobs, the drinking of alcoholic beverages and general jackassery of that nature then please come talk to us. Remember, DTM FTW!

It's grrrrrrrreat!
Angus Thermopollye
#39 - 2011-12-20 05:41:29 UTC
So, one of my recruits shot the **** out of me today and killed a freighter. I found much humor in this. He obviously doesn't know I'm an ass cancer survivor. On the other hand, I really don't like my recruits to shoot me in the ass either. So, if you don't want to shoot me, please join up. If you'd like to shoot me however, please just tell me. No need to go through the charade. I'll make myself available. Kisses!

It's grrrrrrrreat!
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