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The First
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avid DS
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#1 - 2014-04-21 18:00:30 UTC
And so it has finally happened. I have earned my very first, so called, kill mail. The skirmish was typical enough. Two enemy frigates in a combat site. The small gang to which I was attached moved to squash their activities, any loss to them being a boon for us, of course.

I moved in on the first target. He was already under attack by a fleetmate. My Retribution, Vigilant, lent its turrets to the effort. Our target's engulfment in bright light signaled success. We turned on the enemy Purify between him and I was a span of 55km. I engaged my microwarp drive. Another mate had him suppressed so his escape by warp was not eminent, however, the tackler's damage capacity was not sufficient for a swift take down.

Closing the distance, my guns spun to meet our foe. Just before optimal range, I issued the command that would drill damage into the vessel's remaining shields, armor, and hull. The work was finished. And I had landed the final blow.

No, the detail of the action itself is of no outstanding quality in any aspect...

Except perhaps one.

You see, this is the First. And by First I mean the first notable act of aggression since my start as a capsuleer 6 years ago.

So Brothers and comrades rejoice with me. Enemies and sympathizers take flight. For I am on a new path. And that path leads to war.

Avid DS
admiral root
Red Galaxy
#2 - 2014-04-21 18:02:26 UTC
Congrats on your first kill - may you rack up many more.

No, your rights end in optimal+2*falloff
Doc Fury
Furious Enterprises
#3 - 2014-04-21 18:07:23 UTC
Welcome to the dark side.

--> Crime & Punishment

☼

There's a million angry citizens looking down their tubes..at me.
Solecist Project
#4 - 2014-04-21 18:13:43 UTC
Yeah I'm that guy girl who tells you that it wasn't actually your kill,
because you didn't achieve it solo.

When you go that route you eventually turn into a delusionalist (that's no word, I know)
who believes he killed 30 billion ISK in three hours with a catalyst,
ignoring that not a single kill was with less than ten people.

Like Cpt. Swagg... the thread gladly got locked.

That ringing in your ears you're experiencing right now is the last gasping breathe of a dying inner ear as it got thoroughly PULVERISED by the point roaring over your head at supersonic speeds. - Tippia
Sibyyl
Garoun Investment Bank
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2014-04-21 18:15:11 UTC
Good job! I hope to get there myself one day..

Joffy Aulx-Gao for CSM. Fix links and OGB. Ban stabs from plexes. Fulfill karmic justice.
admiral root
Red Galaxy
#6 - 2014-04-21 18:16:56 UTC
Solecist Project wrote:
Yeah I'm that guy girl who tells you that it wasn't actually your kill,
because you didn't achieve it solo.

When you go that route you eventually turn into a delusionalist (that's no word, I know)
who believes he killed 30 billion ISK in three hours with a catalyst,
ignoring that not a single kill was with less than ten people.

Like Cpt. Swagg... the thread gladly got locked.


You're grumpy today. Maybe have your morning coffee before you post. :P

No, your rights end in optimal+2*falloff
KuroVolt
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2014-04-21 18:24:02 UTC  |  Edited by: KuroVolt
I remember my first killmail.

It was a solokill, some poor random maller in a low sec belt...probably was only a month old.
Killed him in an incursus. Scarred me for life!

I still remember the Maller sitting there, webbed and scrammed, it almost looked like it was staring at me. Looking at me with sad eyes going "Why KuroVolt? Why are you doing this to me...I was just minding my own bussiness..."





OH GOD IM SO SORRY! ;-;

BoBwins Law: As a discussion/war between two large nullsec entities grows longer, the probability of one comparing the other to BoB aproaches near certainty.
avid DS
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#8 - 2014-04-21 18:25:55 UTC
Solecist Project wrote:
Yeah I'm that guy girl who tells you that it wasn't actually your kill,
because you didn't achieve it solo.

When you go that route you eventually turn into a delusionalist (that's no word, I know)
who believes he killed 30 billion ISK in three hours with a catalyst,
ignoring that not a single kill was with less than ten people.

Like Cpt. Swagg... the thread gladly got locked.


Granted, I have my delusions, however, I never exaggerate. My only claim is that after these 6 years I've received my first kill mail, and that I am intent on claiming more. That is my route.
coca cola king
#9 - 2014-04-21 18:27:21 UTC
6 years old and finally got your first kill? Man, you must be like the EvE equivalent of a 40 year old virgin or something.

Dinsdale Pirannha for [u]CSM[/u]. Ripard Teg for [u]CEO[/u] of [u]CCP[/u]. Grrrr [u]Goon[/u].
avid DS
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#10 - 2014-04-21 18:27:55 UTC
KuroVolt wrote:
"Why KuroVolt? Why are you doing this to me...I was just minding my own bussiness..."



The deadly activity of minding one's own business will have its reward.
Serene Repose
#11 - 2014-04-21 18:34:34 UTC
Thank god it wasn't your first kiss. I doubt my monitor could have withstood it.

2 Yawns. yawn yawn

Spare us.

We must accommodate the idiocracy.
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#12 - 2014-04-21 18:40:37 UTC
You will be chasing this high for the rest of your Eve career.

If you decide to go carebear, you will never be able get the PvP out of your head.

PvP is an addictive drug, and no amount of rehab will help you get off of it.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Rowells
Pator Tech School
Minmatar Republic
#13 - 2014-04-21 18:57:25 UTC
Thats was beautiful description of death.

Please keep us updated of your journey with other poetic posts like this one.
Solecist Project
#14 - 2014-04-21 19:21:27 UTC
admiral root wrote:
Solecist Project wrote:
Yeah I'm that guy girl who tells you that it wasn't actually your kill,
because you didn't achieve it solo.

When you go that route you eventually turn into a delusionalist (that's no word, I know)
who believes he killed 30 billion ISK in three hours with a catalyst,
ignoring that not a single kill was with less than ten people.

Like Cpt. Swagg... the thread gladly got locked.


You're grumpy today. Maybe have your morning coffee before you post. :P

You're asking for it.

My morning started around ten hours ago.
I still have no coffee pads and due to the fact that I have no filter machine,
which I miss but refuse to buy because of a possible coffee addiction,
I used powder coffee. Yes, sad, but it's better that way and not THAT bad.

So for some reason I poured water into my cup and put it into the microwave.
I normally prefer heating water the conventional way, but oh well.

THEN I realized that I already had the water in the cup,
but didn't want to pour it into a different one,
so I just powdered this water.

It works, but.

Fast forward six hours later. Due to the sad experience I wanted another cup of
coffee, which is rare as I usually drink one and that not at home.

So I thought I'm smarter than my first brainfart and made the next brainfart.

Put the powder into the cup, poured milk onto it... microwave.

Well that worked, but the nature of powdercoffee again came through...

No satisfaction.

No! Null! Zero! Nichts! Nada!


Now, see, I really believe that people are completely misjudging their achievements
when they believe they did something awesome when it actually was THE GROUP that
made the achievement AS A GROUP and hey, if you want to blame my disappointing
coffee experience... well go and self destruct your pod but remember to
put expensive implants into your head first!


Coffee... pfffffff!!!!

That ringing in your ears you're experiencing right now is the last gasping breathe of a dying inner ear as it got thoroughly PULVERISED by the point roaring over your head at supersonic speeds. - Tippia
Winchester Steele
#15 - 2014-04-21 19:30:45 UTC  |  Edited by: Winchester Steele
Solecist Project wrote:
admiral root wrote:
Solecist Project wrote:
Yeah I'm that guy girl who tells you that it wasn't actually your kill,
because you didn't achieve it solo.

When you go that route you eventually turn into a delusionalist (that's no word, I know)
who believes he killed 30 billion ISK in three hours with a catalyst,
ignoring that not a single kill was with less than ten people.

Like Cpt. Swagg... the thread gladly got locked.


You're grumpy today. Maybe have your morning coffee before you post. :P

You're asking for it.

My morning started around ten hours ago.
I still have no coffee pads and due to the fact that I have no filter machine,
which I miss but refuse to buy because of a possible coffee addiction,
I used powder coffee. Yes, sad, but it's better that way and not THAT bad.

So for some reason I poured water into my cup and put it into the microwave.
I normally prefer heating water the conventional way, but oh well.

THEN I realized that I already had the water in the cup,
but didn't want to pour it into a different one,
so I just powdered this water.

It works, but.

Fast forward six hours later. Due to the sad experience I wanted another cup of
coffee, which is rare as I usually drink one and that not at home.

So I thought I'm smarter than my first brainfart and made the next brainfart.

Put the powder into the cup, poured milk onto it... microwave.

Well that worked, but the nature of powdercoffee again came through...

No satisfaction.

No! Null! Zero! Nichts! Nada!


Now, see, I really believe that people are completely misjudging their achievements
when they believe they did something awesome when it actually was THE GROUP that
made the achievement AS A GROUP and hey, if you want to blame my disappointing
coffee experience... well go and self destruct your pod but remember to
put expensive implants into your head first!


Coffee... pfffffff!!!!




My wife bought a Keurig machine last month. Love that ****. Makes coffee so strong you hallucinate for an hour after drinking it.

French press is good too. That was my preferred method before we got the machine. 20.00 US or so for a press, makes a damn fine cup of brew.

Powdered coffee though? Sounds disgusting. I'd sooner drink bong water tbh.

...

Solecist Project
#16 - 2014-04-21 19:34:47 UTC
You might now it as instant coffee.

Heat water.
Put powder into cup.
Put hot water into cup.
Done.


I don't have a coffee machine at home that I want
and that enables me to make coffee the way I really like it,
because then I'd drink coffee all day. Bad.

That ringing in your ears you're experiencing right now is the last gasping breathe of a dying inner ear as it got thoroughly PULVERISED by the point roaring over your head at supersonic speeds. - Tippia
Solecist Project
#17 - 2014-04-21 19:37:22 UTC
Wow this, honestly unintentional, went full offtopic.

Go praise the pseudo achievement of the OP instead,
while I wait for tomorrow morning.

What am I going to do tomorrow morning, Pinky?

Trying to drink a proper coffee!

That ringing in your ears you're experiencing right now is the last gasping breathe of a dying inner ear as it got thoroughly PULVERISED by the point roaring over your head at supersonic speeds. - Tippia
KuroVolt
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#18 - 2014-04-21 19:37:39 UTC
GODDAMN THIS THREAD.


Now I gotta go make coffee. >_>

BoBwins Law: As a discussion/war between two large nullsec entities grows longer, the probability of one comparing the other to BoB aproaches near certainty.
Divine Entervention
Doomheim
#19 - 2014-04-21 19:43:06 UTC
Hopefully you sent him an apology.

I understand the desire to experiment, to know what it's like. With the knowledge you've gained, now is the time to make the proper choice to avoid seeking destruction.

Destroying is easy.

Creation is where true difficulty lies.
Abrazzar
Vardaugas Family
#20 - 2014-04-21 19:43:59 UTC
My first kill: A can flipper in Tash-Murkon Prime as green as I was.

Mining peacefully, Bestower comes over, flips my can, doesn't pick up the ore, I warp off to station, hop into my Maller, back to the belt, no Bestower around, so back to station, into Sigil, back to belt, there is now the Bestower, scramming and shooting at me, had AB fitted, outdistance the scram, warp off, hop in Maller, back to belt, Bestower still there, scram and pop him, back to station, into Sigil, back to belt, save my ore, back to station, wait out timer, fhew.

Since that day, I know, I'm not doing so well with adrenaline.

Sovereignty and Population

New Mining Mechanics
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