Intergalactic Summit

A vision was granted me of The Mittani, seated on a throne with many great seals and surrounded by the directorate who fell upon themselves to worship him, saying, Truly you are the messenger of Solo Drakban

And I saw then The Mittani opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, DBRB saying, Come and see.
And I saw, and behold a thrasher: and he that sat on him had a small dog (BARK BARK); and a hat with a fat bee was given unto him: and he went forth ganking, and to gank.

And when he had opened the second seal, I heard Mister Vee say, Come and see.
And there went out a catalyst: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that pubbies should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great fleet.

And when he had opened the third seal, I heard Powers SA say, Come and see.
And I beheld, and lo a machariel; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four horsemen say, A measure of isk for a freighter, and three measures of isk for a jump freighter; and see thou hurt not the PLEX and the BPOs.

And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of Warr Akini say, Come and see.
And I looked, and behold a talos: and his name that sat on him was the Ministry of Love, and Hell followed with him. And power was given to him over pubbies, to kill with catalysts, and with thrashers, and with talos, and with the fat losers of the CFC.

And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw on the EVE-O forums, the souls of pubbies that were slain for the word of The Mittani, and for the testimony which they held:
And the pubbies cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O CCP, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell in the CFC?
And private messages were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should pay 500 mil for a free pass from Burn Jita, 100% guaranteed to protect you from ganking.

And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great ganking; and the undock became black as sackcloth of hair, and the stars became as blood;
And the CFC fell unto the station, even as a isk scammer scams his latest isk, when using his totally not botting account.
And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every POS and POCO was moved out of their places.
And the alliance leaders, and the forum posters, and the market traders, and the fleet commanders, and the elite PvPers, and every renter, and every miner, hid themselves in the stations;
And said to CCP, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the space throne, and from the wrath of The Mittani:
For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?

I bear witness there is no god but Solo Drakban and The Mittani is his messenger.

Yes yes, you have a thriving cult going on out there in Deklein.

Tell me, when does the traditional mass suicide take place?

Is this the Cult of the Blue Donut? I've heard of it.

So is this some official scripture of theirs or something?

Blasphemy! I am the only deity you should be worshiping. Now kneel before me, least I give you all the puppy dog eyes and pouting face!

Derpy derp derp.

Reads like a second rate novella... Next channel.

Naaa, Burn Amarr.

Back in my day, being a prophet meant something. And Im not even that old.

Prophesising that gankers are going to gank is about as impressive as predicting that a fedo is going to smell.

-Eran