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FRED FRED FREDERATION: Mens Repolla is best singer! OR IS HE?

Author
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2014-04-10 01:01:01 UTC
The following program does not represent the beliefs and opinions of the EVE Defense Force corporation, the Cult of War alliance, and The Scope: Galactic News Network.

The intro begins to be displayed on the holoprojectors above the stage. Fred is lying asleep in snow, his outfit sloppy and unkempt. There is a bottle of Quafe in his hand. He jolts awake as a wind passes over him.

“Where am I?” He asks himself. He looks around and appears to be in a mountain range. Fred gets on his feet and begins to stumble through a blizzard. When suddenly he hears music filling the air.
“Let it go! Let it go!” A males voice cries out in song. Fred sees a tall Caldari male standing on the slope and darts to him.
“Sir! Sir!” Fred yells. The man is still singing. Fred runs up behind him and grabs his shoulder in the middle of a passionate verse. The man turns around, revealing his identity.
“Mens Repolla?” Fred asks in amazement.
“Yes, and you are?”
“Frederik Fredal Bugabus the Fourth of Cistuvaert! You can call me Fred though!” Fred begins shaking Repolla’s hand. Repolla shakes it awkwardly with a confused grin. “You sir, are my favorite Caldari CEO! Though I do have to ask, where the hell are we and what are you doing here?” Mens Repolla clears his throat as the winds kick up snow.
“We’re on the Kaalakoita Mountains of course! And I’m just singing a song indirectly Patriot Caldari to ‘Let it Go’ and begin moving towards peace!” Repolla proudly replies.
“A noble cause!” Fred congratulates. “Wait, if we’re on the Kaalakoita mountains, then… wow! Some party!”

The intro cuts out as Fred emerges onto the stage. His suit still messy and completely covered in snow. The crowd cheers.


Greetings one and all and all in one! Before you start asking, yes that was the Mens Repolloa, CEO of Ishukone. He was more than willing to appear on the show (for a few million ISK) and no, he wasn’t actually singing. Actually, nobody knows who was singing. We figured it was some wierdo on the other side of the mountain’s peak and we decided to roll with it! And if this singer happens to be watching, please don’t sue us!

Now, I would like to share with you the crazy night from before I woke up on the mountains! I hope you don’t mind, but my high quality camera drones weren’t functioning properly, so I had to settle for medium quality camera drones.

Fred begins displaying a slideshow on the large holoprojectors

'Frederation's Finest' the flagship of the Fred Fred Frederation private fleet arrives a little late to the festivities. I missed the Missing Man formation, however the party is just getting started.

Jandice Ymladris' Rokh, 'Rokh 'n' Roll' lights up the orbit above Caldari Prime as I arrive. Soon, many other capsuleers will use their ships to display their jubilation.

Beautiful blue sparks shoot out behind 'Frederation's Finest' after being harmlessly hit by fireworks from pilot Sticher's Caracal. Blue and Green fireworks are used the most, a clear sign both Caldari and Gallente are celebrating the events that took place a year ago.

A moment of silence over the final resting place of the CNN Shigeru.

Saluting the fallen heroes of both sides.

Commander A9, the organizer of the event, begins a disco with his Hyperion.

Rave mode activated!

That's enough for now. You can find the rest of the photographs right here!

Now these festivities were quite grand! A monument dedicated to the lost and fallen was unveiled as the memorials and parties took place on and above the planet. Gallente and Liberal Caldari were the main attendees. There were few Caldari Patriots there apart from Diana Kim whose antics, despite their hateful message, were quite humorous. Anyway, Ishukone has lately been taking a lot of flak for being diplomatic towards our great Federation. I’m quite sure you have heard all the rumors ranging from treason to Mens Repolla actually being a jump clone of President Roden so we won’t talk much about that. However, I will like to add that would make an incredible twist for one of the many atrocious holofilms that Gallente teenagers will throw their money at this summer.

A beret wearing, coffee drinking, indie band loving, gender studies major, screenwriter in the crowd begins taking notes on his portable neocom

What I want to talk about is not whether or not Ishukone is doing something wrong nor is it why the other megacorps aren’t as willing to come to negotiating table with the Federation. I want to talk about something that hasn’t been addressed in real depth yet.

What will it take for the other Megacorps to join Ishukone in negotiating with the Federation?

It’s very clear that the rest of the Megacorps aren’t fond of Ishukone’s actions. Even Hyasyoda, Ishukone’s closest ally appears to at the very least, be neutral regarding this. And you really can’t blame them for feeling this way. You can’t deny that fraternizing with the Federation has been shaky for the State in the past. Ishukone is willing to look to the future and are confident things will be different this time around.

Patriots and even Moderates will really only pull through on one condition. Having the security of Caldari territory guaranteed. To do this, both sides need to demilitarized. As we saw with the situation in Luminaire for 5 years, building up military forces doesn’t help. All it takes is one spark to start a battle. Areas such as Luminaire and Black Rise have to be demilitarized, with local security against piracy and other crime being provided by a neutral party.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2014-04-10 01:01:08 UTC
Yes, that’s exactly what’s going on with Caldari Prime my friends! Split the disputed territory 50/50 (or base it on population), and get a neutral party to watch out for it! So far it’s worked well for a year on Caldari Prime. Hopefully studying the planet over the following years will provide enough data to see if this can actually work.

Alas, that’s all we have time for today my friends! Stay classy chaps!

“Stay classy chaps” Those words echo through the heads of the audience over and over again. They know what must be done.

Fred leaves the backstage area and proceeds into the lobby of the stadium where he typically meets and greets his fans. To his surprise, everyone is wearing a monocle, and speaking in very poor Amarrian and Garoun accents. There is not a single man in the room without a waxed moustache. There is not a single woman in the room without corsets and white gloves. The situation is so surreal Fred returns to his dressing room to cry for the next half an hour.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#3 - 2014-04-10 07:44:52 UTC
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
Because, if you don't want to split them, get the hell out of OUR planet !

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Rhiannon Marius
Marius Family Enterprises Unlimited
#4 - 2014-04-10 09:25:27 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
Because, if you don't want to split them, get the hell out of OUR planet !


Well some one here needs to be split.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#5 - 2014-04-10 11:39:44 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
Because, if you don't want to split them, get the hell out of OUR planet !


Unfortunately the Caldari have never once disputed these planets so such a proposal would never come into fruition.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#6 - 2014-04-10 11:40:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Foley Aberas Jones
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2014-04-10 13:56:46 UTC
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT


Note: Anything said in the comments section of a Fred Fred Frederation episode are owned by SCOPE: News and may be broadcasted across the cluster.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Anslo
Scope Works
#8 - 2014-04-10 14:26:53 UTC
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT


Note: Anything said in the comments section of a Fred Fred Frederation episode are owned by SCOPE: News and may be broadcasted across the cluster.

Don't you shovel this crap on to us.

[center]-_For the Proveldtariat_/-[/center]

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#9 - 2014-04-10 14:30:05 UTC
Anslo wrote:
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT


Note: Anything said in the comments section of a Fred Fred Frederation episode are owned by SCOPE: News and may be broadcasted across the cluster.

Don't you shovel this crap on to us.


Just making sure my loyal viewers are aware of the policy. Blink

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Sorjat
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#10 - 2014-04-10 15:25:31 UTC
Fred left out a couple of details from his narrative...

Fred is lying deep in snow, naked, his outfit sloppily cast aside and his appearance is unkempt. There are several empty bottles of Quafe lying around... the hangover is unbearable...

"Where am I?" He asks himself... He looks around desperately seeing mountain ranges in the distance and what appears to be snow on the ground. With a quick jolt he realizes that Quafe and Blue Bills don't mix well...

Looking closer he see's he is in someone's quarters, not his own.. the white snow is actually a bedsheet and the mountains are really a holopicture hanging on the wall... and then he see's him...

There... in the bathroom, Fred see's a tall, muscular Caldari male gently singing to himself an old song "Let it go"... He is as completely naked as Fred and then he turns to stare back at him. A smile creeping across his face...

"Sir! Sir!" Fred yells... "what is going on, who are you, what am I doing here and why am I experiencing a painful clone malfunction in my lower intestinal tract???"

The man turns, completely revealing himself to Fred...smiling...

"Frederik Bugabus or Freddybuggy as you asked me to call you,,, how could you not remember? We met last night at the station bar... and you went on and on about how you loved Mens..."

"... and boy were you drunk last night!"

Insanity is not hubris, not pride; it is inflation of the ego to its ultimate - confusion between him who worships and that which is worshipped. Man has not eaten God; God has eaten man.

-- PKD

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#11 - 2014-04-10 15:40:48 UTC
I can confirm that is not what happened. Though it would be humorous!

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Trensk Mikakka
Collapsed Out
Pandemic Legion
#12 - 2014-04-10 19:44:22 UTC
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT


Foley, I f*cking love this. Never change.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#13 - 2014-04-11 13:53:26 UTC
It was quite funny, if disturbing.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Agiri Falken
Akagi Initiative
#14 - 2014-04-11 13:55:52 UTC
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT

You know... Any man who will say this outright deserves recognition. *applause*
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#15 - 2014-04-11 15:10:39 UTC
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT

I can stand in full split without anyone's help, Mr. Foley.

But if you have a funny ideas about my legs, well, you could come and try. Although make sure to bring with you a coffin and plastic bag of your size. And don't forget to update your clone.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Trensk Mikakka
Collapsed Out
Pandemic Legion
#16 - 2014-04-11 20:00:55 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT

I can stand in full split without anyone's help, Mr. Foley.

But if you have a funny ideas about my legs, well, you could come and try. Although make sure to bring with you a coffin and plastic bag of your size. And don't forget to update your clone.


Foley, I dare you. Do it. I'll pay for clone costs and everything. Hell, I'll buy you a new suit.
Foley Aberas Jones
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#17 - 2014-04-12 04:36:44 UTC
Diana Kim wrote:
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT

I can stand in full split without anyone's help, Mr. Foley.

But if you have a funny ideas about my legs, well, you could come and try. Although make sure to bring with you a coffin and plastic bag of your size. And don't forget to update your clone.



I mean.....



**** why am i so aroused by this?


Trensk Mikakka
Collapsed Out
Pandemic Legion
#18 - 2014-04-12 05:03:47 UTC
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Foley Aberas Jones wrote:
Diana Kim wrote:
Lets split first Gallente Prime, then split Intaki. Oh, and split Villore as well.
]


I know something i wanna split.....

Look i wanna split your legs and make passionate sweet love ,

THERE I SAID IT

I can stand in full split without anyone's help, Mr. Foley.

But if you have a funny ideas about my legs, well, you could come and try. Although make sure to bring with you a coffin and plastic bag of your size. And don't forget to update your clone.



I mean.....



**** why am i so aroused by this?




Don't question it, embrace it, my friend.
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#19 - 2014-04-12 06:38:54 UTC
This really doesn't sound healthy.
Please contact medbay.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Katran Luftschreck
Royal Ammatar Engineering Corps
#20 - 2014-04-17 00:53:28 UTC
I actually enjoyed Fred's live concert, call it a guilty pleasure. P

http://youtu.be/t0q2F8NsYQ0

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