Crime & Punishment

Hello, I'm looking to explore Caldari nullsec. I have NEVER been to nullsec for any extended period of time before and generally have minimal exposure to it.

I'm putting up this Eveslist-ad looking for someone to guide me through the basics of not dying in nullsec. In turn I'll do whatever you want me to, be pirating, mining, salvaging, pirating, ratting, FW, pirating, or pirating. (Hint: I want to do piracy.) I also will pay all of my own expenses, for ships and equipment whatever. Also, if you don't like me, you have every right to ditch me and move on.

Here's the catch!

I'm the most god-awful pilot you'll ever meet.

I'll still do anything to the best of my abilities, just don't expect those abilities to be very good. At all.

Why am I going into null if I'm terrible, you ask?

Well, I've lost ships doing about everything I've tried thus far, so I figure that if I'm going to fail at something, it might as well be something new and exciting.

So who's interested in having a lame partner-in-crime?

(P.S. I want you to know that I want this to be something beneficial for you, not just out of pity for me. If you really really think you can shape me up into someone that can help you, give it a go, but don't just do it because you feel sorry for me. Also, when I say that I will pay for all my own expenses, I mean that I don't want anything paid for me. My goal to get out of this is to eventually be as lucrative self-sufficient as possible.)

Heehee...I may not be the best capsuleer but I still won't fall for THAT trick.

1stly this man speaks truth. Finding a group of people who play the game the same way you wish to is the most important part of eve.
2ndly He doesn't play as an idiot. His name is known throughout New Eden and carebear children are frightened into behaving by the threat of Mr Cane.
3rdly You have mail.

You could try suicide ganking... It isn't easy to consistently fail at suicide ganking.

Also, James 315 will reimburse all catalysts, even ones from failed ganks.

I can fly Minmatar BC's, that's it. I'm working on Caldari as we speak.

No, I do not have Cyno V.

To continue what this guy said, if you're interested, i'm looking for an apprentice to pick up the fine art of highsec miner murder.

If you're EU timezone and interested, feel free to hit me up.

This is true. I am truly awful at regular PvP, but am pretty good at suicide ganking.

As a warning though, suicide ganking really limits what you can do in high sec. I like using an alt for that reason.

That was a trick? It's only a trick if you pay to get in. Goons newbie program is pretty spectacular as far as they go. And since the end goal is not ELITEPVPOMGWTFBBQ, it's quite laid back. The downside for you is that it takes a reference from a goon to get in.