Wormholes

Well hello friends, I had this amazing idea for a second then thought about it a few times and I concluded that it would be cool if we had a battle report thread! Cool? I know right?!

It is this mystical place where we could post ya know " Battle reports " and hurf durfs.

Now I don't know if anyone has done one before and I did not want to check so without further adieu I present to you:

The Wormholes Battle Reports Thread: 2014

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- Get Posting - May Tyrannosaurus Muhammad Be With You.

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2dreads vs 9 dreads and 6 carriers. Clearly the two dreads win...

Glorious Battle Report of Great Wormhole Justice in J133525



The Great People’s Wizard Army had spent many days preparing for the day we would destroy our imperialist Awakened enemies. We were joined by the Grand Polish Proletariat Red Snackbar Fleet Who Always Leave Someone Behind Because They’re Not American, and our Eternal Allies of BACK-DOOR Intrusion known to most as Verge of Collapse, but to us, simply “Bruce”.

Great Fearless Leader Nutmegpainter, General of a Thousand Dragons and Caller of Many Targets At The Same Time, led our initial fleet to the enemy’s back door in nullsec because it was that time of the month. Just as we had the enemy wormhole in sight, one of their cowardly scouts jumped out and spotted our masterful plan. Great Fearless Leader Nutmegpainter, General of a Thousand Dragons and Sayer of a Thousand Jumps, called for all brave pilots to JUMPJUMPJUMPJUMPJUMPJUMPJUMPNOWJUMPJUMPJUMPJUMPJUMPJUMPANDWARPTOWARRANTYJUMPJUMPOKGUYSBURNANDJUMPNOWJUMPJUMP.

As we jumped in, eager to deliver the People’s Justice to our Awakened targets and received fleet warps, it became clear to us that this would not be a normal fight. Fearless Leader Nutmegpainter, General of a Thousand Dragons and Provider of Hilarious Lossmails, had sent us into a fresh Core Garrison.

As we warp away, a wild Revelation appears from the enemy imperialist Awakened fleet and closes the nullsec hole before more of our brave comrades can join us in glorious battle. At this time, we land in the Core Garrison to find three enemy Lokis and an Archon. Great Fearless Leader Nutmegpainter, General of a Thousand Dragons and Provider of Worthy Content calls the Archon as our first target of justice and gives the signal to Log On All the Things.

As all our Things are logging on, the enemies of Awakened Imperialism warp in several other Things and suddenly our glorious battle becomes a three way fight as more than 20 neutral Sleepless Guardians are shooting everything. Our Things then warp into the fight and more of their Things also join.

Stuff happens: Our Swaglthings swung their pimp canes, more stuff happens.

As it becomes clear that the Sleeper Armies are going to win the three-way Glorious Battle of Wormhole Justice in J133525, Great Fearless Leader Nutmegpainter, General of a Thousand Dragons and He Who Didn’t Want That Nag Anyway gives the order to bravely warp out. Our fearless army obeys and a cloud of pods land on the enemy static. As we jump into the safety of the static, drunk with the knowledge that Great Justice has been done, we receive word from our brave scouts that the Sleeper Armies are continuing to deliver Awesome Justice to the Enemy Imperialist Awakened Fleet resulting in the destruction of even more enemy Things.



The final tally indicates that Great Justice was brought to the Imperialist Awakened enemy.

Team A (21 involved) - Great Peoples Wizard Army:

Team B (32 involved) - Fascist Imperial Nation: Awakend.

This Reddit link contains a link to the Kill-board and final Battle Report.


Killboard Link Found Here


Battle Report - Accredited To Glorious Assistant Editor And Chief Of Propaganda - Uncle Putz

Great fight, shame the sleepers took down all our capitals (check the loss mails- sleepers did all the work) otherwise it would have been a totally different ending.

However a well planned and executed attack- great work guys!

As per my EVE News post.

Can I say being a ex-wormholer, this post is pointless...
Fact is the sleepers were on the Wizards side that day, its just sods law... Probe were
a bit trigger happy & should have just let the Archon die instead of going balls deep.

This post is complete ego trash & I wouldn't expect anything else from Whale Girth...

Sir please - It is a battle report thread - This is one of many Battle reports.

As you can see it is hardly a trash talk more like battle shenanigans.

I almost set a new record; came close to losing a Tech 3 cruiser on both my main and an alt in a single fight. Thanks for bringing "the combined fleet of imperial justice" :) Was a lot of fun!

...and that Nag had the "+10 tank of damage taking" . Damn thing was just like my ex wife -flat out refused to go down!

Hey SSC/NOHO whats the battle report for glorious vengeance against farmers in: J145416?

I'm so sad I missed this one, BR looks like a massacre!