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Limerick Contest

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Rixx Javix
Stay Frosty.
A Band Apart.
#21 - 2014-03-17 18:54:57 UTC
There once was a man from Rens
Who chased the girls like hens
He flew a big Rokh
but had a small...


opinion of himself.

http://eveoganda.blogspot.com
Jen Takhesis
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#22 - 2014-03-17 23:51:59 UTC
The once was a Band of space Brothers
Who tried to take nullsec from the others
To Delve they fell back
After unsuccessful attack
And eventually ran home to their mothers
Jen Takhesis
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#23 - 2014-03-17 23:53:09 UTC
There is a dark band known as Goons
Who found themselves tricked by karttoon
But instead of flat dying
They're still kicking and flying
You can't stop these playful buffoons
Jen Takhesis
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#24 - 2014-03-17 23:58:50 UTC
There was a young Sister of Eve
Whose assets you wouldn't believe.
The mysteries of the gate
She loved to relate
But your need she couldn't conceive.
Johnathan Flubb
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#25 - 2014-03-18 01:57:16 UTC
There once was a man in a Rifter
No ship could ever be swifter
He put on a good show
Many corpses in tow
And off went the charming space drifter
GM Spiral
Game Master Retirement Home
#26 - 2014-03-18 02:41:08 UTC
A ticket was filed by a man
Who'd lost his jettisoned can
He'd bought all his ISK
And still took the risk
His reward was a permanent ban

Senior Game Master | CCP Games Customer Support Team

Helping capsuleers since 2004.
Pew Terror
All of it
#27 - 2014-03-18 02:49:38 UTC
One FC told his fleet align gate
Half of them thought warp what was said
Off they went the whole lot
And got bombed on the spot
And comms was now full on with hate
Pew Terror
All of it
#28 - 2014-03-18 02:56:11 UTC
Some bear desired isk per hour
He thought it would buy him much power
With much bling there he flew
Till they ganked his tengu
His mom yelling in the back "Take a shower!"
Seraph Essael
Air
The Initiative.
#29 - 2014-03-18 03:13:35 UTC
A pilot who undocked his Pod,
Did think he was somewhat a God.
He tried bumping a Super,
With all of his stuper,
And the moron woke up in a fresh clone because the damn thing was a trap and they hotdropped him and got everyone on the killmail...

Quoted from Doc Fury: "Concerned citizens: Doc seldom plays EVE on the weekends during spring and summer, so you will always be on your own for a couple days a week. Doc spends that time collecting kittens for the on-going sacrifices, engaging in reckless outdoor activities, and speaking in the 3rd person."
Pew Terror
All of it
#30 - 2014-03-18 03:21:21 UTC
Some guy thought "A titan I'll buy!"
He jumped it straight down to Mai.
Then got caught in a belt,
Wanna know what he felt,
That seller was surely a spai!
GM Arcade
Game Masters
C C P Alliance
#31 - 2014-03-18 03:57:11 UTC  |  Edited by: GM Arcade
There once were four GMs on night shift,
Whose ticket replies were so swift.
Then along came this thread,
Their reply count went dead.
The next day their boss would be miffed.


(Despite this limerick being clearly the best (waaay better than Spirals) please disregard it as far as the competition is concerned)

Lead GM Arcade | Customer Support Manager
Ila Dace
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#32 - 2014-03-18 04:47:08 UTC  |  Edited by: Ila Dace
From my bio:

There once was a miner from Azer
Who had not the grid for a laser
His drones pulled the Veld
While his shields barely held
And Goons took him out with a razor

Also:

There once was a pilot; Aspalis
Who in RvB did take solace.
She'd shoot any Blue,
FallenTitan or you,
'Twas justice on all of the lawless.

From this thread: https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=325447&find=unread

Sigh, I imagine these don't count. They're original, but not of this thread.

If House played Eve: http://i.imgur.com/y7ShT.jpg

But in purple, I'm stunning!
Ila Dace
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#33 - 2014-03-18 05:18:35 UTC  |  Edited by: Ila Dace
Forty leagues straight off the station gray
Lies the bookmark made just yesterday.
But the noob still explodes
Hauling expensive loads
For still he warps the opposite way.

If House played Eve: http://i.imgur.com/y7ShT.jpg

But in purple, I'm stunning!
Don Aubaris
#34 - 2014-03-18 05:29:11 UTC
Tas Exile wrote:
In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I am sponsoring an EVE Limerick contest.

Basic Contest Rules:
...

3. Prizes: The 2 limericks with the most "likes" will win 100 million ISK. In addition, I will choose my 2 favorites and award them a Phantasm BPC. Finally, winners of my previous poetry contest can vote for their favorite. The winner chosen by this group will win a Cynabal BPC



Tas, can you clarify rule 3?

1/ What exactly is a winner of the previous competition? The 2 topwinners? Or also the Honorable Mentions? The Bonus prizes?
2/ Does this mean these people are excluded from this contest? Or can they still compete but not for the group-prize?


Regards,
Don Aubaris
Taal Khurin
Acorn Harvesting
#35 - 2014-03-18 05:31:48 UTC
Lucas Kell wrote:
There once was a fella from Jita
Who desired his wallet be fitter
So he found a good deal
Which it seems wasn't real
And now he is feeling quite bitter.


Isnt that almost a Kate Nash song? :D
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#36 - 2014-03-18 05:47:10 UTC
Here's a few I came up with a while back in the OOPE forum -- some were written for specific people, but I thought I'd put them here. They are my original creations:

There once was a pirate from Siseide
Arties or missiles he could not decide
He finally chose beam
and on them put Gleam
Of all of his targets not one died

this is a parody of the limerick in Ila Dace's bio

I once saw a beauty named Erica Dusette
She had the looks, she was all set
Though her manner was wry
And her posts were dry
I would still say I'm glad we have met

it's EVE-related because it's about Erica Dusette

Have you seen the new Crucifier hull?
Note just how it is no longer dull
With two great fingers
Its HP lingers
Not all that far below full

Ever since I learned about armor tanking
I've started turning up my output of spanking
With lasers that scorch
And drones that torch
I'm not so good at limerick last line making

I made this one shortly after making two non-EVE limericks with failing final lines. Ask me if you want to know what they were.

In Halaima, with lasers, mining an asteroid
AFK with no tank, James 315 annoyed
Bearing blaster turrets large
Talos opened on the barge
Like James' ammo, mining prospects Null and Void

I made a limerick about this video:
6yo Skye playing Eve Online

A pirate in Amamake saw an Ibis go by
With pilot named Donna, he knew it was Skye
She aligned to Osoggur gate
The pirate's guns fired too late
He raged on Scott's video "You're teaching a lie!!"

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#37 - 2014-03-18 06:05:10 UTC
Fresh limerick:

Executioners, Atrons, and Slashers I fly
Only fast frigates with the throttle turned up high
Glitter's my name
Speed is my game
That red streak is my shirt speeding by

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#38 - 2014-03-18 07:19:33 UTC
One about my new ship:

Fit up a Cormorant with 150s, this new ship of mine
Filled up with range mods hits out to 109
I bet you think you're safe, you do
A cormorant couldn't hit you
Not sure what you're on about, I can hit you just fine

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Cecil Montague
PCG Enterprises
#39 - 2014-03-18 07:37:55 UTC
There once was a Damsel in Distress
Who's morals lacked I confess
Mission runners delight
When Zor comes to fight
As for Kruul, well I'm not impressed.

"There is no such thing as an effective segment of Totality" - Bruce Lee: The only man with a Chuck Norris killmail.
Treborr MintingtonJr
S.N.O.T
S.N.O.T.
#40 - 2014-03-18 08:29:38 UTC
There was a guy named Jim
Who tried to pay to win
His CNR got ganked
His wallet got spanked
And now his dreams in the bin.