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The Nauplius Retirement Fund

Author
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#1 - 2014-03-04 01:04:58 UTC
Attention! Come one and come all! I announce to you a prestigious and noble charity! I call it, The Nauplius Retirement Fund!

Our poor old man Nauplius is desperately trying to meet his God! He recently committed the rather horrid act of sending 1 million slaves to their death in the blink of an eye! Clearly he is trying the best his old, twisted, heretical heart will allow!

This fund has been started to speed up the process and make sure he can come to his God sooner! I have already contributed a modest 50 million ISK to the cause. I highly encourage others to donate at least 1 million to his bounty, one measly isk for every life lost!

50 million is really chump change at the moment. However, it is enough to get the newer bounty hunters itching their trigger fingers! If you donate more money to his bounty, you can see better results! My analyst have come up with the following levels of salvation for Nauplius.

50 mil- Newer pilots shoot him for quick cash as he flies by
100 mil- Newer pilots become interested in his location.
250 mil- Going to major systems becomes difficult
500 mil- Mid skill pilots and bounty hunters begin targeting him
1 bil- Dedicated bounty hunters and virtually everyone he passes will take a shot
2 bil- Nauplius has to attach rockets to his wheelchair to avoid getting caught
4 bil- Nauplius is forced to hire dedicated security teams.
8 bil- Everyone with a gun goes after Nauplius
16 bil and up- God himself descends down from heaven and becomes a capsuleer just to smite old man Nauplius.

Donate to his bounty today and help him meet the Deceiver!

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#2 - 2014-03-04 01:08:30 UTC
On another note, I will donate more to the fund myself if I see this taking off!

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Kyllsa Siikanen
Tuonelan Virta
#3 - 2014-03-04 01:41:14 UTC
Bounties are sadly relatively useless.

“Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” 

― C.S. Lewis 

Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#4 - 2014-03-04 01:43:14 UTC
Kyllsa Siikanen wrote:
Bounties are sadly relatively useless.


If there is enough ISK on the table bounties can do quite a lot.

Sadly at the moment, all his current bounty will do is get him stabbed in the neck by some desperate bloke planetside.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Apollo Lyserius
Minerva Technologies
#5 - 2014-03-04 03:44:36 UTC
I'm so joining this cause.
Karmilla Strife
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#6 - 2014-03-04 06:51:05 UTC
Naupilus desires attention. Bounties give him that in quantifiable amounts.

Ignore him completely, or gank him by surprise.

Adding isk to his licensed bounty, or posts to his narcissistic threads only gives him what he wants.

If you want to kill this viper, you'd do best by cutting off it's head or starving it to death.
Diana Kim
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#7 - 2014-03-04 08:18:40 UTC
Fredfredbug4 wrote:

This fund has been started to speed up the process and make sure he can come to his God sooner! I have already contributed a modest 50 million ISK to the cause. I highly encourage others to donate at least 1 million to his bounty, one measly isk for every life lost!

I would rather pay to see you coming to his God instead.

Honored are the dead, for their legacy guides us.

In memory of Tibus Heth, Caldari State Executor YC110-115, Hero and Patriot.

Lyris Nairn
Perkone
Caldari State
#8 - 2014-03-04 09:07:49 UTC
Karmilla Strife wrote:
Naupilus desires attention. Bounties give him that in quantifiable amounts.

Ignore him completely, or gank him by surprise.

Adding isk to his licensed bounty, or posts to his narcissistic threads only gives him what he wants.

If you want to kill this viper, you'd do best by cutting off it's head or starving it to death.


Came here to post this. I like how you think.

Sky Captain of Your Heart

Reddit: lyris_nairn Skype: lyris.nairn Twitter: @lyris_nairn

Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
#9 - 2014-03-04 09:11:21 UTC
Lyris Nairn wrote:
Karmilla Strife wrote:
Naupilus desires attention. Bounties give him that in quantifiable amounts.

Ignore him completely, or gank him by surprise.

Adding isk to his licensed bounty, or posts to his narcissistic threads only gives him what he wants.

If you want to kill this viper, you'd do best by cutting off it's head or starving it to death.


Came here to post this. I like how you think.



Who knows, maybe mr. Fred and old man Naupilus are accomplices and this is all a part of some elaborate bounty/insurance scam.
  • Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim

Angels are never far...

Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc

Lyris Nairn
Perkone
Caldari State
#10 - 2014-03-04 09:13:04 UTC
More likely a circle jerk.

Sky Captain of Your Heart

Reddit: lyris_nairn Skype: lyris.nairn Twitter: @lyris_nairn

Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#11 - 2014-03-04 09:16:25 UTC
Save your money. Use it to buy the ships needed to pod that barbarian enough times until he forgets his mother's name.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders

Lady Katherine Devonshire
Royal Ammatar Engineering Corps
#12 - 2014-03-04 10:02:47 UTC
I am a bit curious as to which heretical cult he belongs to. At first glance he appears to clearly be a Blood Raider, because he delights in wonton cruelty so much. Yet clearly he is no longer so interested as cruelty so much as simply amassing a higher body count, and this points more towards a member of the Equilibrium of Mankind.

Then again he might simply by a Minmatar agent sent by Shakor to be a false-flag propaganda piece for his warmongering. It would not be the first time that they killed their own people to "prove a point," after all. So who can tell for sure?

At any rate, if there is anything worse than those who reject God it is those whom twist & pervert His Faith into monstrous heresies. And frankly we actual Amarrians are getting rather sick of constantly having to hear his endless stream of blasphemies. So the sooner this... person... find his way into this "Hell" place that he keeps referring to, the better.
Kyllsa Siikanen
Tuonelan Virta
#13 - 2014-03-04 12:21:22 UTC
Lady Katherine Devonshire wrote:
I am a bit curious as to which heretical cult he belongs to. At first glance he appears to clearly be a Blood Raider, because he delights in wonton cruelty so much. Yet clearly he is no longer so interested as cruelty so much as simply amassing a higher body count, and this points more towards a member of the Equilibrium of Mankind.

Then again he might simply by a Minmatar agent sent by Shakor to be a false-flag propaganda piece for his warmongering. It would not be the first time that they killed their own people to "prove a point," after all. So who can tell for sure?

At any rate, if there is anything worse than those who reject God it is those whom twist & pervert His Faith into monstrous heresies. And frankly we actual Amarrians are getting rather sick of constantly having to hear his endless stream of blasphemies. So the sooner this... person... find his way into this "Hell" place that he keeps referring to, the better.


Your stupid. It's showing.

“Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” 

― C.S. Lewis 

Astera Zandraki
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#14 - 2014-03-04 12:21:59 UTC
Leopold Caine wrote:



Who knows, maybe mr. Fred and old man Naupilus are accomplices and this is all a part of some elaborate bounty/insurance scam.


Damnit, Caine, I was gonna try that.
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#15 - 2014-03-04 12:39:25 UTC
Karmilla Strife wrote:
Naupilus desires attention. Bounties give him that in quantifiable amounts.

Ignore him completely, or gank him by surprise.

Adding isk to his licensed bounty, or posts to his narcissistic threads only gives him what he wants.

If you want to kill this viper, you'd do best by cutting off it's head or starving it to death.


Stitcher wrote:
Save your money. Use it to buy the ships needed to pod that barbarian enough times until he forgets his mother's name.


My question is, are either of you going to actually hunt him down and kill him? Will any of the numerous people condemning him try as well? People love expressing their outrage yet do nothing to stop what infuriated them.

The Nauplius Retirement Fund provides those who lack the time, experience, or skills to persue this madman a way to make his life much deadlier.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!

Lyris Nairn
Perkone
Caldari State
#16 - 2014-03-04 18:56:04 UTC
Fredfredbug4 wrote:
My question is, are either of you going to actually hunt him down and kill him? Will any of the numerous people condemning him try as well? People love expressing their outrage yet do nothing to stop what infuriated them.

The more I read of your antics, the more I think you and I should share tea sometime.

Fredfredbug4 wrote:
The Nauplius Retirement Fund provides those who lack the time, experience, or skills to persue this madman a way to make his life much deadlier.

You forgot courage and will.

Sky Captain of Your Heart

Reddit: lyris_nairn Skype: lyris.nairn Twitter: @lyris_nairn

Pontianak Sythaeryn
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#17 - 2014-03-04 19:06:41 UTC
There is just something rather anti-climatic about him getting shot at and podded by somebody that only cares about the isk.
Andreus Ixiris
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#18 - 2014-03-04 19:15:44 UTC
I say let the Amarrians do it. They want him dead just as much as we do, if not more (albeit for different reasons). I think it's poetic justice if he's mauled by the same people he was trying to provoke into similar acts of mass murder - plus, it'll be a great chance for the Amarr to prove that they do indeed have standards, and it means we don't have to waste time or money on hunting him down ourselves.

Everybody wins! Except Nauplius.

Andreus Ixiris > A Civire without a chin is barely a Civire at all.

Pieter Tuulinen > He'd be Civirely disadvantaged, Andreus.

Andreus Ixiris > ...

Andreus Ixiris > This is why we're at war.

Vulxanis Viceroy
Vicarius Vitae
Khimi Harar
#19 - 2014-03-04 20:41:15 UTC
Andreus Ixiris wrote:
I say let the Amarrians do it. They want him dead just as much as we do, if not more (albeit for different reasons). I think it's poetic justice if he's mauled by the same people he was trying to provoke into similar acts of mass murder - plus, it'll be a great chance for the Amarr to prove that they do indeed have standards, and it means we don't have to waste time or money on hunting him down ourselves.

Everybody wins! Except Nauplius.


I can assure you this horrendous act will not go unanswered.

Nauplius has opened the doors to a furnace.

He most certainly will be burned.

In Character: Only responds to "Lord Draconis"

Pronounced "Vulzanis"

Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Eve/comments/4fanm8/eve_in_a_nutshell_and_how_to_crack_it/

Public channel: VXV EVE

Twitter: https://wiki.eveonline.com/en/wiki/Vulxanis_Viceroy

Erin Savonarola
Doomheim
#20 - 2014-03-04 21:02:49 UTC
Andreus Ixiris wrote:
I say let the Amarrians do it. They want him dead just as much as we do, if not more (albeit for different reasons). I think it's poetic justice if he's mauled by the same people he was trying to provoke into similar acts of mass murder - plus, it'll be a great chance for the Amarr to prove that they do indeed have standards, and it means we don't have to waste time or money on hunting him down ourselves.

Everybody wins! Except Nauplius.


I can assure you that we are acting. No faithful Amarr supports what this heretic did.
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