Out of Pod Experience

i don't know if the site still works this way, but i had some success with hot or not. lol this was like, 8 years ago. it was pretty simple: post a picture that gets rated, and you can message people. no need for a résumé. a guy i knew from work had something lined up every weekend (sometimes he would ask me to join him after finding someone with a friend), and his picture was just him smiling, shirtless, wearing a cowboy hat in the sunlight.

Writing this on a phone so reply will be short.

No offense to your x gfs but that advice is really bad.
Sure, some girls will fall in love with you because of nice clothes and a fancy car, in most cases if they are either teenagers or your a millionaire that is likely to have a heart attack shortly after your wedding.
For some reason I doubt that's the kind of relationship you really want.

However, it's possible to dress proper on your first few dates (a t- shirt that has holes big enough for your arm pit hair to stick out can stay in the closet for a while ). That does not Mann you should change your style.
If you normally dress like a goth, do so. If you dress like your going to church do that! If your thing is a cowboy hat and red boots wear that.

You would want the girl to fall in love with you, who you are and what you are, not an idea you created to get her attention.
Of course she will eventually want to make some changes (like getting rid of that awful t- shirt) but this tends to go both ways. . No one is perfect.

If I understood you correctly.
You will have a harder time if you are looking for someone who is ok with having an open relationship tho. .
The not getting married thing is getting more and more common, but I can see how "having to share"your better half would be difficult for many both because of jealousy and that person's morals.

this thread should be a television show. there's several episodes worth of awkward helpless romantic comedy material here. a clever producer could fill in the blanks for continuity.

Its a very complex subject for people to understand, I could write a very long essay about it. Because of societal values that are ingrained into your head as a child. Most people are brought up to view things in black and white. So when they hear about someone who does not believe in marriage and questions monogamy, they automatically think the person is a sex addict who can't make commitments, and most of the time they don't know how to respond. I don't grudge people for it, as its just a evolutionary trait that all social animals have. And the fact its stills around, means its useful.

I think there is a show called that, Seinfeld or curb your enthusiasm

I called her out about it being a bad idea when she said it., a friend of mine said one of his female friends gave similar advice as well, I largely believe its just an attempt for women to troll other women in a oh so passive aggressive way. I did date a girl who was integrating me to spill my guts about everything on a first date, I literary said "WTF kind of question is that to ask on a first date?, Like who does it"

Like I said, I’ll change my clothing around a little bit, avoid cretin things of personalty expression and personality, and see what happens. I'll try to what looks goods.

It's mating season in Minnesota all year long. We can't afford to wait for it to be warm.

OP, I only hope that you can love yourself and realize that you don't NEED anyone. Good luck and don't settle...this is YOUR life and only YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Don't ever let anyone tell you you aren't good enough for them.

there.

in the absence of the variable of love it's just...good. some better than others. but it's best when there is love in the equation imo.

This thread is funny!

Been reading over this one a few times, and i want to comment but tiredness makes it hard to put my thoughts into words so be patient with me.

First off i do agree that most people dont really know what they want.
Heck even those who do know and have a nice handy list with a list of "requirements" often find them self's in a position where they fall in love with a person who does not meet any of them. It simply cant be controlled.

I also agree that people often will feel attracted to someone because other people are and they dont want to seem "weird", but i think this is more prominent with younger people (teenagers, young adults). People who are still struggling figuring out who and what they are, and want to be accepted by the community they are a part off.

However, i think a lot of it is also fear that people wont respect, or accept your choice in a partner.
Religious beliefs, sexual preference, race, age, personality and so on...
There are so many ways a person can look at someones partner and say "Thats so wrong!", and while most don't care enough to let these comments affect them it does not mean that it does not bother the person, or even both of them.

So, to avoid this people will often try to find a life partner the people in their close community will like and accept, even if this might mean that they them self are not as happy as they could be.
In simple words, they settle because in the long run thats easier then putting up with years or resentment for your choices.

Personally i have been on both sides of this.
Was in a relationship with someone everyone in my family loved and adored, but the relationship ruined me both mentally and physically. Still to this day, 10 years later, im getting grief because i broke up with "the perfect guy".

Then 5 years ago i met the person i ended up getting married to, and in my families and friends opinion i was making the biggest mistake of my life!
First off because he lived in America, while i was in Norway.
Second because he dident speak Norwegian.
Third because of our age difference (about 10 years).
Forth because he already has a daughter from a previous relationship, and neither of us wants more kids.

When i told my mother he had proposed and i had said yes she yelled at me then left the room, then came back and snarled "Well guess i should say gratulations" followed by friends telling me how i was going to regret and have no way out, and my sister being furious at me because..well im still not sure what she was actually angry about

So, i care what people think about me , but unless it comes from my better half i try to shrug it off because in the long run no one can tell me what will make me happy, and if i had refused to be with someone who isent considered "appropriate" by everyone in my family and my friends.. well i would be single for a long long time and eventually find my self in a miserable relationship, watching Titanic and cry my eyes out because i would want to feel like that about someone (ok i admit it, i still cry my eyes out but come on! Its a sad movie ).

And i should not be allowed on the forums after midnight.

Moms don't know **** about what's best for you.

parents are haters and out of touch at best.

mine will always have something to say, when they should just be happy that i'm happy. so, i decided a long time ago that my love interests are none of their business.