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Mummy Noh's History of the Ancient Matari World
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Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#41 - 2014-02-24 00:43:05 UTC
Anabella Rella wrote:
Better to be a "narrow-minded Republican" with principles.


It is amusing that you invoke "principles," you stupid, stupid twit, given your own inability to figure out how to stick by the one principle that you manage to articulate so frequently.

I know that you have no True Friends, Annie, and I should be more charitable.

Even so, has no one, not even a superficial friend who wishes you would just go away and stop embarrassing them, explained to you how "ignoring" works? While allowing for the fact that you are a stupid, stupid twit, you must surely recognize that your every contribution is an opportunity to mock you and everyone who associates with you, yes? No. Of course not.
Karynn Denton
Lekhantsi Salvage Depot
#42 - 2014-02-24 12:13:06 UTC
Anabella Rella wrote:
Karynn Denton wrote:
Because I try to keep an open mind, put prejudice aside and accord people the appropriate style of address.

Besides, Lady Noh is far more interesting than the predictable narrow-mindedness and navel-gazing that you see from Republicans. Oh, did I let a little prejudice slip there? Pity.


Better to be a "narrow-minded Republican" with principles than a common criminal who runs away from fights and sides with the enemy of the Minmatar people. Then again, that's what you Thukker are best at, isn't it?

Oh sorry, did I let a little truth spill out there? Pity.


I can live with being called a criminal. I'm actually good at what I do, so I object to the "common" element.
"Exceptional criminal" or even just "decent criminal" would be better.

It's a testament to your narrow-minded arrogance however, that I should have to remind you of no minor incident in which the Thukker committed their territories and manpower to the Armada which incapacitated CONCORD and invaded the cluster's largest empire.

To think that after millions of Minmatar were freed and millions of brave Thukker were lost, in their fleets and... down on Mekhios, may they be at peace with their ancestors... you would have the nerve to claim that we run from fights and side with enemies of the Minmatar people.

We would never side with enemies of the Minmatar people, but your attitude shows exactly why we have no qualms with aligning ourselves with the enemies of the Republic.

Karynn Denton

Caravan Master
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#43 - 2014-02-24 16:22:17 UTC
The Elder Fleet, of course darling! There, I'll just plop that into the bucket of evidence supporting my contention the Thukker were an Antediluvian exploratory force already in the Great Wildlands at the time of the Ur-Gate Collapse.
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#44 - 2014-02-24 16:56:17 UTC  |  Edited by: Anabella Rella
It was your disrespectful original comments that led me to say what I did, Denton. I'm well aware of the fact that the Elder Fleet was built in secret in the Wildlands and that many Thukker died to help liberate our brothers and sisters. I'm also aware that you are a petty, drug-running criminal who chooses to bow and scrape before the likes of Noh, a creature so heinous as to merit no respect (which you might have known had you chosen to do a little research into her sordid history rather than attacking a fellow Matari).

Be that as it may, enjoy your lovefest with the old witch. Perhaps you'll change your mind when she decides to turn on you and experiment on your loved ones by turning them into non-human hybrid abominations.

As for your weak jab at the Republic, well dearie, I was raised in Caille. Feel free to also insult the Federation for my alleged closed-mindness, you hypocritical bigot.

If you represent the best and brightest of the Thukker, I say please return to the Wildlands to continue doing whatever it is you do (which I suppose is plying you criminal trade and preying on other Matari). The Republic is far better off without "allies" such as you.

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#45 - 2014-02-24 17:37:04 UTC
And another bump from Little Moron Annie! Garsewn! Put a cherry in it this time!
Pieter Tuulinen
Societas Imperialis Sceptri Coronaeque
Khimi Harar
#46 - 2014-02-24 17:40:58 UTC
Ms Rella, I'm almost certain that sparking infighting is a primary objective of this thread. Just saying.

For the first time since I started the conversation, he looks me dead in the eye. In his gaze are steel jackhammers, quiet vengeance, a hundred thousand orbital bombs frozen in still life.
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#47 - 2014-02-24 17:50:23 UTC
Certainly, one purpose of this thread is to spark contempt for Gradient - an organization of overrated halfwits so devoid of creative flair that it fell to me to write something interesting about ancient Matar. Of course, now that I've shown the poor things how to do it, one of them might step up to the plate. Once the idea gets out of committee. And put through peer review. And vetted in committee again. And... oh, look at that! Another decade!

Contempt for Gradient doesn't really qualify as Matari "infighting," however, given that no fungible member of that organization would be mistaken for an actual Matari if they didn't wear the word on their nametags.
Kyllsa Siikanen
Tuonelan Virta
#48 - 2014-02-24 22:48:41 UTC
Committee meeting is scheduled for the 14th of August.

Hopefully we can have a rough draft for a rebuttal by sometime next December.

Unless it is delayed. Which it shouldn't be. But it might be.

Maybe.

“Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” 

― C.S. Lewis 
Anabella Rella
Gradient
Electus Matari
#49 - 2014-02-25 02:45:27 UTC
Pieter Tuulinen wrote:
Ms Rella, I'm almost certain that sparking infighting is a primary objective of this thread. Just saying.


Your point is taken, Pilot Tuulinen. I'll post no further comments here.

When the world is running down, you make the best of what's still around.
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#50 - 2014-02-25 05:51:04 UTC
[ROTTING DEEPER SUBTERRANEAN INFRASTRUCTURE.

The CRONE'S smiling face appears more quickly in a less distorted lens attached to IRON GOLEM GAIM, who looks more anthropomorphic than when last we saw him. Behind the CRONE, between modern pylons, rises a spectacular mosaic of red and blue semi-precious stones set in a golden mortar. The mosaic consists of eleven interlocking circles covered with gleaming hieroglyphs of vaguely disturbing import. A thousand years or more of dried crimson spray reaches up, up, up the wall.]

Hello, darlings! It is time to discuss one of the truly great mysteries of our Cluster.

Yes, exactly: the reputation of the Sebiestor.

If I were to scream: GREAT TECHNICAL MINDS! Yes, exactly, you thought of every Achura you knew.

GREAT PHILOSOPHERS!

Yes, exactly, you thought either of the humanist Gallente or the theological Khanid, Amarr, or, once again, Achura.

GREAT ARTISANS! Ni-Kunni, Gallente. GREAT BUILDERS! Amarr. GREAT ENGINEERS! CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY! Deteis, Gallente. You get the idea.

The Sebiestor everyone knows are none of these things. So what...

"Hello darling!"

Oh! Oh, don't do that! Is that you? Did Caldari Graduate Ninja wake up a clone?

"Don't be silly, darling! You are the clone! You don't have the pluggy things!"

[The CRONE feels the back of her head.]

Oh! Oh, of course. It was one of Silas's parties, after all. Can't be too careful. Well... where have you been!?

"There was an incident. We don't need to talk about it."

Did you get picked up by the 24th...

"We don't need to talk about it. We need to get you to a restorative cryo bubble bath as soon as possible!"

Are the wrinkles showing?

"Of course! It's been days! You've done a great job with that Iron Golem, if I do say so myself."

And you do!

"And I do! Is that...!?"

The Apocalyptic Apocrypha? Yes it is! Good thing you picked up that Takmahl book when you did, darling, I've found so many wonderful things down here! I'm so eager to open this door!

"Well... why haven't you!?"

Please, dear. It's been difficult. The manner of the Domina's departure appears to have left a power vacuum above. I'm in the middle of a slave revolt, possibly three, a worker's strike, possibly two, I've got some Van Helsing cult after me...

[The CRONE'S eyes narrow; an irritated look seeps down her face. She leans to one side. A knife strikes the IRON GOLEM. Almost immediately, a jet of flame shoots from the creature's arm, igniting a figure in the background. It flails around screaming for a time.

The CRONE leans back into full camera view. The figure behind collapses and continues to burn.]

Would someone put that out? Please? Please?

[A slow, pounding sound rumbles through the ambiguously Cyclopean space. An enormous industrial robot lumbers behind the CRONE, lifts a giant foot, and with one stomp, extinguishes the fire.]

I wanted to make certain I established proper perimeter defenses before opening a portal to ancient mysteries!

"Good thinking! If I do say so myself."

And you do!

"And I do!"

So, as I was saying, the Sebiestor everyone knows today are not the Sebiestor who created a reputation for being Achuran, Amarrian, Galltentean, or Deteis. As I... as we... previously discussed, the dynamism of ancient Matar was a kulturkampfen between Nefantar, Brutor, and Krusual. Starkmanir were too wealthy and comfortable to be overly concerned with the other tribes. Sebiestor were for the most part always drunk, and though "clever" by necessity, insignificant. Vherokior were isolated for a long period, and then mellow travelers.

Thukker descended from Antediluvian explorers and were not invested in Matar during the period in question.

At the mouth of the Tronhadar, Nefantar quickly developed feudal agrarian social structures which allowed their population to grow rapidly and their technology to advance. Their immediate neighbors, the Krusual, were a fiercely independent tribe of hunter gatherers. Ninety nine times out of a hundred, this would result in the rapid extermination or absorption of the hunter gatherer tribe.

Krusual, however, were so ferocious, so savage, so vicious, and such good hunters, they made the Nefantar their prey.

As a good hunter does with his prey, Krusual studied the Nefantar, learned to move among them unseen. Learned to trap them, steal from them, and often carry them away for ceremonial axes, bloody ritual sacrifices, and... face dancing.

The Krusual developed an ability, beyond any technology they should have possessed, to pass some of their tribe off as Nefantar. Later, this deception would be applied to all the tribes of Matar except the Thukker, who never interacted with the Krusual - or who may, in all probability, have used the same trickery.

During Amarr's stewardship of Matar, it was the Krusual who resisted - not only as a distinct tribe that was never saved, but also in their hidden capacities among the other tribes. It was the Krusual face dancers among the Sebiestor who adapted that bipolar schizoid hipster tribe's random acts of "what the **** were they thinking" to devastating effect. It was the Krusual face dancers among the Sebiestor who therefore earned that tribe a reputation with the Cluster at large, one which, by contemporary experience, seems quite implausible.

To the extent that you ever meet a Sebiestor who is not a bipolar schizoid wreck, that's a Krusual. Of all the idiosyncrasies found among Matar's tribes, the Krusual could never quite bring themselves to go full Sebbie.

I know, I know, you don't want to believe it. At the same time, you're thinking of every Sebbie that you know and mumbling to yourself: "Yes. Yes, it is the only rational explanation."
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#51 - 2014-02-25 15:27:44 UTC  |  Edited by: Stitcher
Quote:
Hello, darlings! It is time to discuss one of the truly great mysteries of our Cluster.

Yes, exactly: the reputation of the Sebiestor.

If I were to scream: GREAT TECHNICAL MINDS! Yes, exactly, you thought of every Achura you knew.

GREAT PHILOSOPHERS!

Yes, exactly, you thought either of the humanist Gallente or the theological Khanid, Amarr, or, once again, Achura.

GREAT ARTISANS! Ni-Kunni, Gallente. GREAT BUILDERS! Amarr. GREAT ENGINEERS! CAPTAINS OF INDUSTRY! Deteis, Gallente. You get the idea.

The Sebiestor everyone knows are none of these things.


Well, if you're going to neglect "GREAT INNOVATORS!" then really there's no helping you. and leaving the Sebiestor Tribe off the list of technical minds and engineers is more than a little unfair, too.

It takes more than just bravery and adrenaline to turn a pile of scrap scaffolding and a nuclear fission pile into a working starship, you know. Let alone to turn it into one that can go toe-to-toe with its class-equivalents.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#52 - 2014-02-25 16:41:52 UTC
Stitcher wrote:
Well, if you're going to neglect "GREAT INNOVATORS!" then really there's no helping you. and leaving the Sebiestor Tribe off the list of technical minds and engineers is more than a little unfair, too.


"Innovation" is directly addressed, though perhaps a footnote would help.

"It was the Krusual face dancers among the Sebiestor who adapted that bipolar schizoid hipster tribe's random acts of "what the **** were they thinking" to devastating effect."[1]

[1] This process is (occasionally) recognized as "innovation."

In this way, we reconcile Sebbies we all know as dizzy bipolar hipsters with the reputation of the race. Now, being a tribe of dizzy bipolar hipsters does help with "innovation." Sebbies think themselves into big group boxes. Every now and then, one Sebbie misses the group box. At that point, every Sebbie nearby drops everything to point and laugh.

That laughter is what signals the Krusual face dancer.

On remarkably rare occasions, the Krusual thinks: "not such a good idea for steaming milk, but might be a good way to propel a frigate on the cheap."
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#53 - 2014-02-25 17:29:15 UTC
uh... huh.

Lesson learned: More fool me for dignifying this drivel with my attention.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#54 - 2014-02-25 18:49:40 UTC
Stitcher wrote:
uh... huh.

Lesson learned: More fool me for dignifying this drivel with my attention.


I rather doubt you've learned much of anything, doll.
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#55 - 2014-02-26 02:33:12 UTC
[BEFORE THE DARK PORTAL.

A phalanx of robotic stick figures under the direction of an almost lifelike IRON GOLEM GAIM finish clearing modern refuse from an tomb wall of Takmahl multiweave ceramic metal octocone blast retardant. Two towering industrial mechanical cave trolls have erected a scaffolding before the Apocalyptic Apocryphal portal. The CRONE rides up and down on a lift mechanism set into the scaffolding, apparently because she can.

CALDARI GRADUATE NINJA finishes calibrating a wall of Prototype Reiatsu Hexacomb Shield Drones and signals to the CRONE that they are ready.]

Excellent, darling!

I'm so glad you could find me. I hope it wasn't too much trouble... no, of course it wasn't. Is anything trouble for you, sweetheart? No, don't answer that. I understand that I'm quite impressed with all aspects Saisio III, now that I've finally remembered where it was and bribed - excuse me, contributed to the efficiency of - the consulate sufficiently to set foot on the planet.

But that is there, we are here, and our Cartel maritime salvage crew is almost to The Murk.

In the meantime, I will open this door.

Doing so will require all of my concentration. Once I begin, it will be best, for all, that I not be unduly interrupted. I'm certain these innovative Achuran drones will do their best, but company will come running once the humming and vibrating and grinding and expulsion of gases begins. I do hope that you will find dealing with those adds to your liking, CALDARI GRADUATE NINJA.

"For the glory and perseverance of the State, Reverend Mummy."

Excellent, darling!

Towards the end, things will get exciting. At that point, it would be best if you retreated to behind the shield wall.

"Wakata, Reverend Mummy."

All right then, here I go!

[The CRONE maneuvers the lift mechanism to the second row of circles, which itself consists of circles, which themselves consist of circles, only the right ones of which can be depressed.]

Now sweeties, what we have here is a Takmahl Inception lock. Opening it requires knowledge of one aspect of the Takmahl Creation myth.

You see, prior to Creation, God called the letters of His alphabet into a line, and asked that each present reasons why She should be the First Letter of Creation. God would listen to them all first, and then make His decision.

[The CRONE depresses only the right circles, and rotates a disk set in the portal's surface.]

The First Letter of God's alphabet, a natural candidate for Inception, was too humble to actually go first. This created a bit of a commotion. Finally, the Last Letter reluctantly circled around and presented Herself for consideration.

[The CRONE stops rotating the disk. A low hum purrs within the door. The CRONE manipulates her lift mechanism up and to the left. The next-to-last letter of God's alphabet presents Herself. More hums ensue. The ground vibrates.

After another letter, the vanguard of Van Helsing's cult bursts into the cavernous space.

CALDARI GRADUATE NINJA leaps, literally, into action.

Vaulting from hands to feet to hands to feet, she covers the distance between her starting position and the cultists before the cultists fully process the horror unfolding before them. Using a short katana of tempered plastic steel set with a cermet edge, CGN's left hand becomes a blur of flesh-eviscerating artistry while her right hand retains the perfect form of Cherry Branch Beneath First Winter Snow.

Dying screams of cultists mix with mechanical gyrations, attracting a mob of frenzied slaves who have revolted against their masters and feel determined to burn the blood witch who has fallen into their midst before those weirdo cultists get her.

CALDARI GRADUATE NINJA adds her right foot to the unfolding lethal dance, crushing throats with heel and instep as she severs limbs and rib cages with artistic precision. Anticipating a new wave of attackers at any moment, her right hand shifts from Cherry Branch Beneath First Winter Snow to Flamingo Prince Blushes At Bride's Kiss.

The portal disks glow with sinister back lighting; ancient gears groan. Noxious steam vents.

Industrial workers swarm into the chamber with pitchforks, more or less, infuriated by the CRONE'S hacking of their heavy equipment just before they were going to use it on a phalanx of oppressors. Blade cuts, foot crushes, Flamingo Prince's beak penetrates eye sockets and stirs cranial juices.

The CRONE squeals with delight.]

At last, First Letter presents! Reluctantly, She addresses God: "Forgive me, My Lord, for I am unworthy."

God smiles upon His First Letter. No, He says, she is the most Glorious of His Letters.

[The CRONE rotates a disk into place.]

But!

[The CRONE rotates the disk out of place.

OTHER CRONE appears in CALDARI GRADUATE NINJA'S HUD. "Incoming."]

"Wakata, Reverend Mummy."

But!

But I shall not first Create with you, First Letter, for Your Glory would shake Creation to its foundations. You shall be Second In Creation, My Glorious First....

[The CRONE rises to the center of the portal.]

...and you shall be First In Creation, My Beautiful Second.

[CALDARI GRADUATE NINJA vaults feet to hands to feet to hands to feet as the chamber shakes.]

And in End as Beginning, Creation shall find Redemption...

in...!

Beauty's...!

LIGHT!

[The CRONE rotates the last disk into place. CALDARI GRADUATE NINJA ducks behind the Achuran Prototype Reiatsu Hexacomb Shield Drones and triggers her active plating. Lasers vaporize the chamber's floor and ceiling. A wave of heat overwhelms the shield wall in several places and ignites the CRONE. The portal separates and withdraws.]

Extinguisher, please! Extinguisher! Thank you. Into the corridor. Into the corridor. Quickly now!
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#56 - 2014-02-26 04:17:37 UTC
This went from being educational, to slightly educational, to biased drivel, to complete and utter nonsense.

Though to this program's credit, it has succeeded in being entertaining, if for both good and bad reasons.

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Eran Mintor
Metropolis Commercial Consortium
#57 - 2014-02-26 05:42:15 UTC
It wasn't educational to begin with it's always just been a satire. You should feel ashamed to think this was educational, unless you mean it educated you on the way Ms. Noh thinks.

-Eran
Fredfredbug4
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#58 - 2014-02-26 05:43:56 UTC
Eran Mintor wrote:
You should feel ashamed to think this was educational, unless you mean it educated you on the way Ms. Noh thinks.

-Eran


Mr Mintor, you are a clever, clever, man!

Watch_ Fred Fred Frederation_ and stop [u]cryptozoologist[/u]! Fight against the brutal genocide of fictional creatures across New Eden! Is that a metaphor? Probably not, but the fru-fru- people will sure love it!
Gosakumori Noh
Coven of One
#59 - 2014-02-26 06:12:05 UTC
You are a philosopher, Eran, and know full well that satire is both educational and based in fact.

Anyone who would like to take issue with the location, development, or interaction of the Tribes, as I have described them, is more than welcome to present specific objections. In fact, I have made numerous invitations to that effect.

I realize that I'm more than a bit too good at this, and the task may consequently seem hopeless, but perhaps rather than trying to develop as comprehensive and interesting a history as I have, here, some dedicated Republic loyalist collective of more modest creative gifts might like to tackle one particular aspect? The "factual" relationship between the Krusual and Sebiestor, for example? Good luck with that, dedicated Republic loyalist collective of more modest creative gifts.
Eran Mintor
Metropolis Commercial Consortium
#60 - 2014-02-26 07:46:08 UTC  |  Edited by: Eran Mintor
I'm sure you're not including me among the "Republic loyalist collective." I would however be interested in compiling oral history of the Matari should I ever find the time to.

Nevertheless, I hold no issue with your telling of "history" as I find it quite entertaining, but should preferably be enjoyed while intoxicated off some Matari herb. I haven't read the recent additions due to lack of the latter but plan to remedy that soon.

-Eran