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Hello. Relationship advise needed.
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Eranicus II
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#21 - 2014-01-27 01:37:13 UTC
Pampers Toralen wrote:
Hello,

I'm posting my with my main as what i am asking is nothing to be ashamed of, I have met a really nice lady from a well known dating site here in the uk.

We got speaking on the site and i don't know we just clicked, we after a few weeks talking we decided to take it to the next level and met for a drink, I am quite a nervous guy in rl and i was so scared!.
Anyway the date went great and we had alittle to drink, came back to mine and sent the whole early hours of the morning speaking, we was very open with each other.
it got around 6:30 am and and we decided to go to sleep i slept on the couch, but we spoke about everything and i could believe what we spoke about.

Any way the lady in question is afew years older then me I'm 26 and she's 38 and looks fantastic btw, what we were talking about stuff and that she is in the final process of cancer treatment, she has beaten this terrible illness and i mean hearing this made me so sad, and i was happy she told me, it never frightened me away as i really like this person.

I recently celebrated my birthday Saturday and she invited me to go out in her home town, and to spend the night at her's so i accepted her offer and had a fantastic night, we went out for a meal and drinks, and we went back home were i made myself comfortable on the sofa ready to sleep, but she came creeping down stairs in a white work shirt and French pants, the rest is private.

Any way morning comes and were sitting down eating breakfast and her phone goes it was a txt and her smile left her face the quickest time i have ever seen, i later found out after that her ex used to beat her to a pulp and that if he finds out she's dating anyone else he would break both her legs because he loves her so much.

I'm. Now petrified do i stay because we make each other happy or do i take a risk and run to keep her from harm?, as when she was telling me about her ex i was physically sick i had to run the the bathroom. I was disgusted by what she told me what he did to her.

is there anyone happily in a relationship who can give me some advice??

Benn


Go to a jiu jitsu gym, train up and take care of her. Twisted

Now on the other side it could be a scam, that happens here in the states often. Were the dame pretends to have an ex who is violent and needs money all of the sudden and given that you are perplexed about it, they take advantage of your empathy to drain your bank account. Ugh
Rain6638
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#22 - 2014-01-27 01:48:33 UTC  |  Edited by: Rain6638
Pampers Toralen wrote:
Rain6638 wrote:
I'd like to add she was the most enthusiastic friend I've had.

...had. you know... HAD. WINK WINK


Don't get me wrong i was planning to take it slow, but the white shirt and pants well, all i can say after the scratching I'm sleeping on my front tonight 😉

can you tell me what that means in American? I can't tell if that's good or bad

reminds me of this time i was driving around camp in afghanistan, and gave a bunch of aussies a ride in my humvee. they were all telling me some awesome story but I couldn't understand a word of it so I just laughed along anyway

(if you're wondering in what sense I mean "my" humvee, i was a mechanic back then and there were only two of us there from my unit. I had it on night shift, the other mechanic had days. I worked 12's, M-F, as in I started on a Monday in May, ended on a Friday in January)

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Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#23 - 2014-01-27 03:12:13 UTC
I had an ex that behaved in total creeper mode too once after I had split up with him. it's not a good situation.
Rain6638
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#24 - 2014-01-27 03:45:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Rain6638
facebook friend requests from randoms who you don't know are always the ex-wife. always


it would be worth considering the possibility of a variation of that scam, perhaps saying she needs the money for legal fees for a restraining order or some type of proceeding--a divorce maybe. if she seemed to insist that her ex was the most violent criminal ever as if it was a grown-up's version of a boogie man story, I would take that as a big sign. that would be just great anyway, if this early on she wouldn't cede even in conversation that you would provide some measure of deterrent. the opposite equivalent would be a guy insisting to his date that his ex has the tightest grip evar, and at any time his ex could come back and challenge his date to a ...tight grip contest and probably win. it's a total jerk move

and now i've managed to scare myself. thanks y'all.

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Pampers Toralen
State War Academy
Caldari State
#25 - 2014-01-27 11:39:10 UTC  |  Edited by: Pampers Toralen
Benn[/quote]

Go to a jiu jitsu gym, train up and take care of her. Twisted

Now on the other side it could be a scam, that happens here in the states often. Were the dame pretends to have an ex who is violent and needs money all of the sudden and given that you are perplexed about it, they take advantage of your empathy to drain your bank account. Ugh[/quote]

I honestly don't believe it has anything to do with my bank account this is a woman who has two successful businesses, bought her own home with cash no mortgage, so i don't think she needs any of my money .
Pampers Toralen
State War Academy
Caldari State
#26 - 2014-01-27 11:41:10 UTC  |  Edited by: Pampers Toralen
@Rain, what i ment by saying id be sleeping on my front is that she scratched my back to ribbons, after sharing some us time 😉
Mortlake
Republic Military School
#27 - 2014-01-27 11:58:52 UTC  |  Edited by: Mortlake
I initially posted suggesting you go and give the guy a working over. In hindsight this was the wrong thing to do, though it's entirely your choice, and indeed violence may come to your door and the decision is made for you. Hopefully it doesn't come to that. I've been in your position, and managed to get the situation rectified in a way I'd rather not have.

Good luck to you both, and I hope your partner continues in good health.

Sometimes you hit the bar and sometimes the bar hits you...
Pampers Toralen
State War Academy
Caldari State
#28 - 2014-01-27 13:47:05 UTC
Mortlake wrote:
I initially posted suggesting you go and give the guy a working over. In hindsight this was the wrong thing to do, though it's entirely your choice, and indeed violence may come to your door and the decision is made for you. Hopefully it doesn't come to that. I've been in your position, and managed to get the situation rectified in a way I'd rather not have.

Good luck to you both, and I hope your partner continues in good health.


Thank u for such kind word's
Rain6638
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#29 - 2014-01-27 13:52:59 UTC
oh, duh. sorry i just learned what slap & tickle is slang for, and assumed scratching meant something else.

AS FOR THE SCRATCHING, I keep thinking "you wrestled with a cougar bro, what do you expect?"

and the house & stuff, reminds me of a joke: have you seen the new divorce barbie? she comes with all of ken's stuff.

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Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#30 - 2014-01-27 15:12:53 UTC
Rain6638 wrote:
AS FOR THE SCRATCHING, I keep thinking "you wrestled with a cougar bro, what do you expect?"

and the house & stuff, reminds me of a joke: have you seen the new divorce barbie? she comes with all of ken's stuff.


lol. you made me laugh with this. first thing in the morning after waking up, too. tone setter for the day, I hope!
Rain6638
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#31 - 2014-01-27 15:32:46 UTC
Cool

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Pampers Toralen
State War Academy
Caldari State
#32 - 2014-01-27 15:48:57 UTC
Rain6638 wrote:
oh, duh. sorry i just learned what slap & tickle is slang for, and assumed scratching meant something else.

AS FOR THE SCRATCHING, I keep thinking "you wrestled with a cougar bro, what do you expect?"

and the house & stuff, reminds me of a joke: have you seen the new divorce barbie? she comes with all of ken's stuff.


lol u made my day congratulations 😉
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#33 - 2014-01-27 17:28:41 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
a tl;dr tale

My old girlfriend had a psycho ex-boyfriend like that. He would call her up and threaten to put her in the hospital. He'd also hang around the street in front of her apartment, but in semi-disguise (dark glasses, hat, muffler, collar pulled up, etc.) Once he showed up at her workplace (where she worked alone). When she locked him out, he went into a rage, broke the glass entrance way door, the ran away. I was pretty concerned about all this, of course. The guy seemed obsessed and unbalanced enough to actually do something bad.

The police wouldn't do anything, though-- no actual injuries, no police investigation. (This was in Japan). I was worried enough about it that I talked to a friend of mine with yakuza connections. He said it would cost about 70,000 yen (about US $650). He didn't say what "it" was, and I didn't ask. Probably for some thugs to just talk to the guy and scare the hell out of him.

Anticlimactic end of the story-- one day my girlfriend and I ran into the guy on the street, in front of her apartment. It caught him by surprise and he just rushed past us. For some reason, after that he never bothered my girlfriend again. I have no idea why. Somehow the encounter with her and me had some effect on his messed-up psychology. Scared to bully the girl, since there was another guy around now? TBH, I think he might have been physically intimidated. I'm not a huge, but this guy was like a little fashionista male model guy. He didn't look especially confident or tough. Or actually seeing her with the new boyfriend gave him some kind of acceptance and closure or something? Who knows.

Well OP, I don't have any good advice for you. Just thought I'd share my experience with a similar situation, in case you can get something out of it.
Krixtal Icefluxor
INLAND EMPIRE Galactic
#34 - 2014-01-27 17:56:38 UTC
NightCrawler 85 wrote:

Now for the x.. Chances are this guy is talking out of his ass.



Sorry, but I've never known guys like that to be "kidding".

Ever. Not once.

"He has mounted his hind-legs, and blown crass vapidities through the bowel of his neck."  - Ambrose Bierce on Oscar Wilde's Lecture in San Francisco 1882
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#35 - 2014-01-27 18:48:46 UTC  |  Edited by: Eurydia Vespasian
Khergit Deserters wrote:
Anticlimactic end of the story-- one day my girlfriend and I ran into the guy on the street, in front of her apartment. It caught him by surprise and he just rushed past us. For some reason, after that he never bothered my girlfriend again. I have no idea why. Somehow the encounter with her and me had some effect on his messed-up psychology. Scared to bully the girl, since there was another guy around now? TBH, I think he might have been physically intimidated. I'm not a huge, but this guy was like a little fashionista male model guy. He didn't look especially confident or tough. Or actually seeing her with the new boyfriend gave him some kind of acceptance and closure or something? Who knows.


somewhat similar to the way things finally ended with the ex I mentioned above. I and the new guy I was seeing ran into my ex at the gas station in town. I live in pretty rural place so it's extremely common to bump into people. there have been times I've gone in there and literally knew every person in the store lol

anyway, we bump into him and he starts running his mouth to the new bf. I thought there was going to be a fight and people would be going to jail. we tried to ignore him but he followed behind and saying things like "you'll get yours, man. your time is coming." dumb **** like that. the new bf drops my hand and whirls around, grabs the ex by his jacket caller. I thought he was going to clock him but he didn't. he says "why wait, bro?"

ex is clearly uncomfortable, struggling rather ineffectually to get away from the grip. he says "nah, man. not right now."

the new bf stares at him, more or less right in his face for a couple moments and goes "yeah. not right now." and lets him go.

that was that and I never had any more problems with that guy.
Rain6638
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#36 - 2014-01-27 19:18:44 UTC
hahah re: Khergit's story:

"I suppose he does have good taste in shoes."

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Slade Trillgon
Brutor Force Federated
#37 - 2014-01-27 23:29:03 UTC  |  Edited by: Slade Trillgon
It's a tarp!

Fake Edit: In all seriousness I just may be 100% correct.


Real Edit: Hey Khergit, you never said whether or not you actually paid the 70k yen Twisted
XNCReman
Soviet Directorate of Eve
#38 - 2014-01-28 15:57:54 UTC  |  Edited by: XNCReman
I love older women, way more better when 26 year olds(women my age).

All the police can do is tell him to leave her alone, and wont be able to do anything unless he does something. If you live in the US. get a permit to carry a concealed weapon. I recommend getting an FN FiveSeven, the 5.7×28mm(a baby M16 round) round is very light weight however extremely powerful and will cut through most body armour and it very accurate, Its also designed to shatter when it hits drywall and plaster.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#39 - 2014-01-28 16:25:08 UTC
Slade Trillgon wrote:
It's a tarp!

Fake Edit: In all seriousness I just may be 100% correct.


Real Edit: Hey Khergit, you never said whether or not you actually paid the 70k yen Twisted

LOL No, I didn't have to pay it. The guy just disappeared and stopped harassing after that random encounter on the street. Girlfriend and I lived happily ever after. Well, happily for a couple more years at least. Straight

(Glad I didn't pay it, too. My chef friend with the yakuza connections:
-Appeared one day with band-aids in odd places all around his face and head, which he wouldn't explain;
-Shut down his restaurant and declared bankruptcy;
-Started hanging out with a famous ladies comics manga artist-writer;
-Opened a little noodle shop, with her support;
-Suddenly disappeared, owing money to her and a lot of other people.
Lowlife people around the world are all the same. Glad I didn't get too involved with that guy or his friends).
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#40 - 2014-01-28 16:57:22 UTC
XNCReman wrote:
All the police can do is tell him to leave her alone, and wont be able to do anything unless he does something. If you live in the US. get a permit to carry a concealed weapon. I recommend getting an FN FiveSeven, the 5.7×28mm(a baby M16 round) round is very light weight however extremely powerful and will cut through most body armour and it very accurate, Its also designed to shatter when it hits drywall and plaster.


Guns: the American answer to all problems.