Wormholes

Step 1. Pick WH at random. Do zero research on the inhabitants and don't check for effects

Step 2. Bring mixed fleet into said WH regardless that it might be a Wolf-Rayet

Step 3. Begin setting up undersized tower.

Step 4. Lose WH control while setting up said tower with most of your forces getting trapped out

Step 5. Proceed to lose every engagement slowly getting forced back into your undersized pos

Step 6. Allow said pos to be **** caged and rf'd hours after setting it up while garrisoning your forces there to be trapped.

Step 7. Lose key Dreadnoughts trying to remove **** cage.

Step 8. Keep key Dreads inside pos even after **** cage is broke just to get **** caged again.

Step 9. Bleed ships and personnel while RF timer counts down. Enter negotiations like you're in a position of strength and attempt to ransom the inhabitants for their wh and your lost caps.

Step 10. Self-destruct ships that can't be piloted before you lose the pos. Commence logging off caps and anyone left that doesn't have a covert cloak inside the tower to be trapped for a couple weeks.

Step 11. Send scanners out right before downtime getting two thirds of them trapped out in the process.

Step 12. Bat phone everyone.

Step 13. Muster forces for a couple weeks. Let inhabitants get careless.

Step 14. Bring in combined fleet, gain WH control and then proceed to free your trapped caps from the Bug Zapper pos the inhabitants put up.

Step 15. Nearly lose said caps to Bug Zapper while freeing them. After freeing them everyone you batphoned and promised fights get bored and leave the WH.

Step 16. Attempt to hold WH control with fleet consisting of 50/50 logistics and **** fit t3s

Step 17. Lose said fleet to inhabitants you underestimated yet again. Also getting your fleet partially trapped out in ensuing battle.

Step 18. Refer to Step 5.

Thank you Dura Lexx and Duckling Union for bringing pvp to us. Sometimes we have hard times finding good fights and we're quite lazy so sometime don't go out looking for them. The sheer incompetence and your ability to siege WHs has given us many a hearty laugh. We are very fond of new bros who try so hard and we love to teach. Maybe we'll show you how its done in the future

That sounds awesome except for the siege part

Sounds like sore winners here...




Oh well...

WTB competant loot pinatas, this was too much like shooting fish in a barrel.

What if you put apple pie on your keyboard?

Aqilla has a friend?

End of life first to comment and blue-fire's ticker is .EOL, hmmmm interesting ... A conspiracy? Maybe even a Red Coat Conspiracy? All we need now is some Sleepers to be socialising, but then surely I'd be joking ...

tl:dr don't be terrible Russians

In short, two alliances with their main activity in the russian TZ teamed up and started seeding caps into our home. A few days later, they brought in the bulk of their pvp-guys through our static, but their iteron with POSmods got ambushed by our scouts. So they brought in their fleet, their pilots and forgot tower defenses.
On the doorstep that same day, we smelled shootage and thus immediately assembled a small task force of ~8 ships to bind them at the hole, them bringing 4 guardians to the field makes our job harder, but not impossible.
A few minutes and a couple dead ships into the fight, a wild revelation appears. shortly followed by an archon, we react by dropping a nag to break that. Apparently, they had more caps inside already, some of our newbros log-in, **** up majorly but we can get a hold of the situation. They get more dreads in here, hole not dying finally shows us that those dreads were in here all along. Blue Nag down.

So in our EU-TZ, which is our off TZ, we suddenly got a tower in our hole anchored by russians, and a concerning lot of ships that we're sure do not belong here. They called it an invasion, we called it a nuisance. If you didn't notice, we get most of our fights in null - and having to care for wormhole-control is annoying atleast.

Later the day, a few hours max, they start hitting our tower with two revs, moros and 2 phoenix, with a ~15man supportfleet + archon. Certain that these ships are only the bait (who would attack a wormhole with only one or two handfuls of dreads?!), we decide to see wether we can get some intel while they reinforce a barracks tower.
Eventually, the POS-shields dropped to 40% in the meantime, they move their subcaps over to the wormhole to reinforce their forces over there. With their dreads bound to our POS, we decide on a small ambush on that fleet holding wormhole control.

In short, they lost much, and ejected from some ships, luckily early enough for us to notice. Shortly afterwards, their staging POS was put into RF, they smacked us how they'd burn us to the ground and shatter our corp in the meantime. Afterwards they went on and SD'ed their assets, logged off their dreads. They finally vowed to remove us from this wormhole.

Over the next days, they try to get their batphone in here, which also meant loads of scout-T3s for us to kill. Like no effort, they just come into our hole like that.

A few weeks later, we grew careless and they brought in pilots and ships again in our off TZ, this time supported by *the competent russians* (like B U, QEX etc). As that is our off TZ, there wasn't really a fight aside the one against the local windmills, so the batphone left early. They tried holding wormholecontrol again, this time with less caps and more guardians... and were shown the door once more.

I want to officially note that I called out dibs on the invader's phoenix in all pulicity. Can't fly one though, but I need that one. Who doesn't want a phoenix in a wolf-rayet!

Once the situation is really dealt with, I'd rather kick our diplos to come up with a decent story. I'm just scanning things

Also, them being native english will yield greatly better readable results.

A good battlereport there Lloyd Roses, tnx for that!
Is there any reason that you don't say who those invading alliances were?