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Crime & Punishment

 
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The Pirate Story Thread

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Saji'us
Magnetar Dynamics
#841 - 2013-12-15 06:46:33 UTC  |  Edited by: Saji'us
Pirating stories? Big smile I have some. Pirate

This was the outcome of me hunting down and killing an explorer in a Magnate who was running a Data site in low-sec:

___________________
.
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.12.03 02:24
To: Saji'us

Come on up here to Boston, you ****. I'll **** you with a ******* broomstick and wipe the smile off your face. Mano a mano.

___________________


And here are SEVEN consecutive mails I received after killing a Merlin & Heron in a Relic site in low-sec. I'm pretty sure this guy got kicked out of his corp because of these. I forwarded all of these to his CEO and he was in an NPC corp the next day. Blink Oh, and I never responded to any of these mails, yet he just kept on pumping them out every two minutes.

__________________

--------------------------------
hey!
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.07.27 23:03
To: Saji'us

i was reading your bio before you killed me...

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain"

what kinda **** is that? you are most likely a grown man and you write **** like that...

one other thing... that was obviousley your first time trying that... you realise that now my "buddy" is getting HIS battleship to kill you with and i just sold him the kill right so just hope your little stealth ship can hide because preying on newbees is just rude... and you wont make any internet friends doing it =)


aww baby cakes =)
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.07.27 23:06
To: Saji'us

you scared of a little battleship? you can hide right?



can you?
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.07.27 23:06
To: Saji'us

Because that would be so saddening


you know being a baby about it doesnt help
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.07.27 23:08
To: Saji'us

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain"

what a douchey thing to write XD you are such a baby

infact how DID you scram me?
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.07.27 23:12
To: Saji'us

if i had 3 warp core stabilizers how did you manage to warp scram me?


why arent you responding to me?
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.07.27 23:14
To: Saji'us

dude i thought we had something special i mean you spared my life for a whole 3 minutes it says in the kill log... i mean the last 4 kills have been instant we had something special and you arent even acnowledgeing me! you are one cruel mistress

I JUST SAW!
From: Guy Who Died
Sent: 2013.07.27 23:20
To: Saji'us

Your bio seid nrds!

You broke your own rules there ******! XD is that a corp rule? i could soo have you kicked from your corp =) you would like that wouldnt you! lemme just message your head honch!


I would say 8 out of 10 times I'll get some form of a "o7" in local after I pull off a good gank. Some even convo me to give congrats and discuss tactics and what they could have done better. But every once in a while you get the complete psychopaths, and that makes it all worth it.

Yar. Pirate

-Saji'
Sevendeadly Sins
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#842 - 2013-12-15 12:17:56 UTC  |  Edited by: Sevendeadly Sins
dafuq

lol

-_-

http://www.zombo.com
Monrena Rose
The Fae Den
#843 - 2013-12-15 15:03:57 UTC
all these stories.. the tears.. So juicy! admittedly im not a pirate but this is just so funny, so many people complaining at being ransomed XD

I myself was a victim to a killing attempt some time ago on an alt.. I wandered down a wormhole for the lolls.. ended up like 2,000,000,000 jumps away.. some sod in a crow started shooting me, i lost my ship and he tried to pod me too.. thankfully the battle happened outside the wormhole so i did not even need to warp to escape thus saving my toon *rest in peace my Kestral*

once i got back i placed a 20 mill bounty on his head.. he got killed twice! score for the bounty system XD

people really should just use the bounty system instead of crying.. its so much more satisfying lol,

keep these stories up! im loving them
Sevendeadly Sins
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#844 - 2013-12-15 15:09:27 UTC
Monrena Rose wrote:
all these stories.. the tears.. So juicy! admittedly im not a pirate but this is just so funny, so many people complaining at being ransomed XD

I myself was a victim to a killing attempt some time ago on an alt.. I wandered down a wormhole for the lolls.. ended up like 2,000,000,000 jumps away.. some sod in a crow started shooting me, i lost my ship and he tried to pod me too.. thankfully the battle happened outside the wormhole so i did not even need to warp to escape thus saving my toon *rest in peace my Kestral*

once i got back i placed a 20 mill bounty on his head.. he got killed twice! score for the bounty system XD

people really should just use the bounty system instead of crying.. its so much more satisfying lol,

keep these stories up! im loving them

Bounties are a waste of isk, they don't cause the person to be kill-able without concord's attention.

Neither does it causes concord to attack the guy.

People are dumb for using it imo.

http://www.zombo.com
Monrena Rose
The Fae Den
#845 - 2013-12-15 16:02:23 UTC  |  Edited by: Monrena Rose
Sevendeadly Sins wrote:
Monrena Rose wrote:
all these stories.. the tears.. So juicy! admittedly im not a pirate but this is just so funny, so many people complaining at being ransomed XD

I myself was a victim to a killing attempt some time ago on an alt.. I wandered down a wormhole for the lolls.. ended up like 2,000,000,000 jumps away.. some sod in a crow started shooting me, i lost my ship and he tried to pod me too.. thankfully the battle happened outside the wormhole so i did not even need to warp to escape thus saving my toon *rest in peace my Kestral*

once i got back i placed a 20 mill bounty on his head.. he got killed twice! score for the bounty system XD

people really should just use the bounty system instead of crying.. its so much more satisfying lol,

keep these stories up! im loving them

Bounties are a waste of isk, they don't cause the person to be kill-able without concord's attention.

Neither does it causes concord to attack the guy.

People are dumb for using it imo.



well that i confess i did not know however..

A Bounty on Killer has Been Claimed
From: CONCORD
Sent: 2013.12.02 03:39

killer has been killed and a bounty of the sum of 7,234,964 ISK been claimed.

A Bounty on Killer has Been Claimed
From: CONCORD
Sent: 2013.12.05 04:58
Killer has been killed and a bounty of the sum of 4,765,035 ISK been claimed.

those are the messages i got anyway just for confermation
Saji'us
Magnetar Dynamics
#846 - 2013-12-16 18:21:15 UTC
AshenShugar01 wrote:
This is an old one from a few years ago but it remains a fav of mine.

So i killed a covetor with pod in a belt, OMS (very smart) and he convo's me so i thought i'd do a little role-playing.....


AshenShugar01 > yarrr?
Alonz'a > i know this is how the game is played
Alonz'a > but
AshenShugar01 > aye, it is that
Alonz'a > when you are a miner you mine and i can not find jespt anywere but in low sec
AshenShugar01 > ye be a-mining in Olde Man star, that be a very bad idear me 'Earty
Alonz'a > so that means i will have to go back and back because
AshenShugar01 > ye should try down in Molden Heath, i a-swear i a saw some Jaspet tharrr
Alonz'a > thats out of my place
Alonz'a > to be there
AshenShugar01 > shiver me timbers i think it was in hi sec too me 'earty
Alonz'a > so were i was is in place so i will be back and back get your booms ready
AshenShugar01 > well that be all fine with me there you olde salty dog, but i must feel free to warn ye of danger, there be pirates in those waters numbering many
AshenShugar01 > yarrrrr that is the case aye
AshenShugar01 > they will send ye straight to davey jones locker i tells ye
Alonz'a > you dont get it its space and anybody can go were thay wont
AshenShugar01 > that be the truth
Alonz'a > so why do peps think that you should take space from other and keep it for your self i bet you dont even mine.
AshenShugar01 > nay i never mine, I am a pirate aye
Alonz'a > will that would be the case
Alonz'a > so tell me what do you get out of it then i am in a ship that is far below you and u blow me up like it's nothing.
AshenShugar01 > it aint aboot space or about who's nailed to the mizzen mast, it be about plunder and murder. We pirates a-like the simple things in life
AshenShugar01 > aye that we do
Alonz'a > ok then ask your self this go find a big fight and some one who could fight back and kick your but.
AshenShugar01 > I mostly do thar kickin' and keel haulen there Alonz'arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Alonz'a > i cant belive you typed this and call your self a pirate ? (Revelations 6:8) (I have it in my bio)
AshenShugar01 > I be sorry thar, me rrrrrrrrrrrrrr sorta trailed off after that there sentence, aye it did
Alonz'a > Alonz'a > i cant believe you typed this and call your self a pirate ? (Revelations 6:8)
AshenShugar01 > do ye realize ye just repeated yourself thar?
Alonz'a > so you could see it again
AshenShugar01 > aye i did see it tharrrrr
Alonz'a > ? why do you call your self SEXUAL DEVIANT SOLDIER. ? (This was Heretics title for me at the time)
AshenShugar01 > what u believe or donna believe aint a problem that thar concerns me aye
Alonz'a > I KNOW THIS
Alonz'a > IS'T A GAME
AshenShugar01 > aye that it be that it be
Alonz'a > where r u so i can blow you up
AshenShugar01 > I be in a tall masted ship sailing the seven seas (From memory i was in a hookbill and he brought a BC)
AshenShugar01 > where be thee?
Alonz'a > LOL
AshenShugar01 > aye, will ye look at that tharrr it rhymes it does
Alonz'a > i am here were r u
AshenShugar01 > i grow tired of thee thar victim, i am done with ye
AshenShugar01 > i thank ye for this there chat tho me 'earty
Alonz'a > then why you blow me up you could have let me live and let me tell other about you but if you blow me up then i cant say anything.
AshenShugar01 > and pray tell we meet again soon
Alonz'a > LOL
AshenShugar01 > fare thee well, and smooth sailing to ye
AshenShugar01 > yarrrrrrr
AshenShugar01 > o/



Its from like 2011 or something but reading this thread reminded me of it. Smile


Best. Convo. Ever.

Lmao.
Savnire Jacitu
Undead Retirement Crypt
#847 - 2013-12-18 17:44:47 UTC  |  Edited by: Savnire Jacitu
I wanted to hold off, but something might be happening later on that will make a story that is worth eating popcorn to.

So a while back we decced some random corp. Their sins were 1. Being called Space Protector and 2. Mining near me in our isk week. So we HAD to test that name out and teach them not to make me hate mining as much as I do already.

I sent the decc but noticed that, **** someone else was already at war with them and kicking their asses. Great 50 mil wasted, oh well. For the most part it played out as much as I thought it would, with them actually being smart players, and watching local, staying in safe spots, you know the things you are meant to do in a war.

So the dec is almost at an end, and I'm in system in my tiny vengeance waiting for, I don't know, something to happen. Just as I'm about to leave and hunt something else, local blinkson. It's their CEO addressing me and all the out laying players.

"Savnire is in system, lets hunt him down mates."

Oh cool maybe a fight. And then a neut tempest, harby, thorax, and some frigs warp on top of me. Well ****. Time to run I guess.

I call my buddy up to come trade places with me, as I can't do **** with the neut tempest out there. In about 5 mins he warps in and gets their interest long enough to let me go switch up ships.

I was only a few jumps from one of my ship cashes so I stop by and see what's there. Not much......But an untested Oracle sniper catches my eye. Eh it's cheap and made of paper, but it might work. But I first decide to take the Neutageddon instead. Cause I like that ship better.

Just as I undock in the geddon of neut another one of their members logs on, and gets into black bird that is perma jamming my friend when he tries to engage....so lets hope that sniper has better range than that guys jammers.

Being an untested ship (for me atleast) I was a little worried the thing would just plain suck, but away I go anyways.

I get an update that is going to be 2 vs. 7 in this match. Cool, fun odds I guess.

My friend undocks in his legion and begins to try and engage just as I'm warping to the 100km point. Here goes nothing!

Black bird locked and is ripped down to structure fast, but quickly warps away. Whoa, that alpha was a lot better than I thought!

Ok NOW FOR ANYTHING WITH GUNS/CONTAINING A HUMAN
BLAP!
BOOM!
POW!
BANG!
ZAP!
KAPOW!
BABANG
AND I HATE YOU TWICE I GUESS

And while this was all happeninhg I didn't even notice that the guys who decced them first, had warped in too! Gotta say thanks to them for murdering the two blackbirds that would of ruined my fun.

But sadly that tempest warped away in fear, and then docked up tight, but I was happy with what I got so it was all good

Moments later local lights up like a bomb with tears of LEAVE US ALONE and GO AWAY and YOU ARE ALL TERRIBLE PLAYERS


Our now mates of the other war dec corp are handling the trash talk so we quietly leave, our mission done but not before trading one of them simones corpse. Guess there was some bad blood between the two, but we had two of her so we happily gave it away.
Katherine Raven
ALTA Industries
Intergalactic Conservation Movement
#848 - 2013-12-18 18:28:23 UTC
Sevendeadly Sins wrote:
Monrena Rose wrote:
all these stories.. the tears.. So juicy! admittedly im not a pirate but this is just so funny, so many people complaining at being ransomed XD

I myself was a victim to a killing attempt some time ago on an alt.. I wandered down a wormhole for the lolls.. ended up like 2,000,000,000 jumps away.. some sod in a crow started shooting me, i lost my ship and he tried to pod me too.. thankfully the battle happened outside the wormhole so i did not even need to warp to escape thus saving my toon *rest in peace my Kestral*

once i got back i placed a 20 mill bounty on his head.. he got killed twice! score for the bounty system XD

people really should just use the bounty system instead of crying.. its so much more satisfying lol,

keep these stories up! im loving them

Bounties are a waste of isk, they don't cause the person to be kill-able without concord's attention.

Neither does it causes concord to attack the guy.

People are dumb for using it imo.



It's a matter of rewarding the people who do decide to kill the person or happen to best him in combat. The bounties are not going to be sufficient motivation to gank someone (at least not usually). I don't put bounties on people, except during a war, but with that it's to reward my corp mates for killing war targets. That's really all they are good for.
Forum Clone 77777
Doomheim
#849 - 2013-12-20 17:07:02 UTC
Katherine Raven wrote:
Sevendeadly Sins wrote:
Monrena Rose wrote:
all these stories.. the tears.. So juicy! admittedly im not a pirate but this is just so funny, so many people complaining at being ransomed XD

I myself was a victim to a killing attempt some time ago on an alt.. I wandered down a wormhole for the lolls.. ended up like 2,000,000,000 jumps away.. some sod in a crow started shooting me, i lost my ship and he tried to pod me too.. thankfully the battle happened outside the wormhole so i did not even need to warp to escape thus saving my toon *rest in peace my Kestral*

once i got back i placed a 20 mill bounty on his head.. he got killed twice! score for the bounty system XD

people really should just use the bounty system instead of crying.. its so much more satisfying lol,

keep these stories up! im loving them

Bounties are a waste of isk, they don't cause the person to be kill-able without concord's attention.

Neither does it causes concord to attack the guy.

People are dumb for using it imo.



It's a matter of rewarding the people who do decide to kill the person or happen to best him in combat. The bounties are not going to be sufficient motivation to gank someone (at least not usually). I don't put bounties on people, except during a war, but with that it's to reward my corp mates for killing war targets. That's really all they are good for.


Theyre useless for anything but making angry bears lose more isk on people who, generally, already caused them to lose isk.

There is litterally no reason to use the bounty system unless you have a burning desire to throw your isk away.
Wanna reward corp mates for killing the enemy party? Pay them directly for each kill yourself.
Unless youre throwing pathetic 100k bounties at em, the bounties arent gonna be paid out anytime soon, and it still means your ISK is hanging onto some guy, being wasted when the wardec ends.
Saji'us
Magnetar Dynamics
#850 - 2013-12-20 18:01:37 UTC
New story that just happened today:

So,

This is a story of how I ransomed someone out of their exploration site after he accidentally invited me to his corporation's public channel when trying to ask them for help. He was in a Probe.

The story below:

[ 2013.12.20 16:55:18 ] Guy I Was Hunting > Saji'us this guy is hunting my probe
[ 2013.12.20 16:55:35 ] Guy I Was Hunting > anyone want to counter gank him in something stealthy ?
[ 2013.12.20 16:55:52 ] Saji'us > You realize you invited me to your public channel and I can see this, right kid?
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:04 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1 > hahahahaha
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:09 ] Guy I Was Hunting > wait whut
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:29 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 2 > wow just wow
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:33 ] Guy I Was Hunting > hahahaha
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:37 ] Guy I Was Hunting > i dragged his name
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:41 ] Saji'us > I so wish I hard room in my bio for this.
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:42 ] Guy I Was Hunting > some how i invited him
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:47 ] Saji'us > had*
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:51 ] Guy I Was Hunting > lulz
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:53 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1> this is kinda epic.
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:57 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 3 > lol
[ 2013.12.20 16:56:58 ] Saji'us > :D well hello all
[ 2013.12.20 16:57:03 ] Saji'us > how is everyone today?
[ 2013.12.20 16:57:15 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 2 > Saji'us shall we hunt Jeade'en Fries but shhhh dont tell him
[ 2013.12.20 16:57:17 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 3 > lawl
[ 2013.12.20 16:57:19 ] Guy I Was Hunting > derper derp
[ 2013.12.20 16:57:22 ] Saji'us > :P
[ 2013.12.20 16:57:39 ] Guy I Was Hunting > curse this bloody ui
[ 2013.12.20 16:57:53 ] Saji'us > good caution though, ill give you that.
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:00 ] Saji'us > most idiots just run around uncloaked dying.
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:10 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1 > yea blam e the UI, not your natural talent at finding the inner fail
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:17 ] Saji'us > you know this site yourre in right now? the relic site?
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:20 ] Saji'us > im in here with you
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:26 ] Saji'us > and i got this guy here Kill: Guy that Died (Helios)
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:27 ] Guy I Was Hunting > yeap
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:29 ] Guy I Was Hunting > i know
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:39 ] Guy I Was Hunting > that why i tried to side track you
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:45 ] Guy I Was Hunting > and you stil lcome back
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:49 ] Saji'us > didnt work bud, i hunt for a living
[ 2013.12.20 16:58:50 ] Guy I Was Hunting > so i guessed :L
[ 2013.12.20 16:59:13 ] Saji'us > ill make you a deal.
[ 2013.12.20 16:59:28 ] Guy I Was Hunting > ouch
[ 2013.12.20 16:59:29 ] Saji'us > 5mill, and I leave this system, and you can run this site with zero harassment
[ 2013.12.20 16:59:40 ] Guy I Was Hunting > this is eve mate
[ 2013.12.20 16:59:47 ] Saji'us > Exactly why I am making the deal.
[ 2013.12.20 16:59:50 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1 > and that is a standard offer
[ 2013.12.20 16:59:56 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1 > pretty cheap actually
[ 2013.12.20 17:00:04 ] Saji'us > youll pull more from this site than 5mill
[ 2013.12.20 17:00:06 ] Saji'us > also
[ 2013.12.20 17:00:10 ] Saji'us > I could be hunting elseware
[ 2013.12.20 17:00:14 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1 > not that I ahve ever done anything like that *whistels*
[ 2013.12.20 17:00:49 ] Saji'us > take it or leave it mate, but there are plenty of other explorers (the helios I linked above) that would have loved to gotten this deal.
[ 2013.12.20 17:01:07 ] Guy I Was Hunting > fine
[ 2013.12.20 17:01:30 ] Saji'us > I leave system once I see the 5mill tick in my wallet, and this system and all of its sites are yours.
[ 2013.12.20 17:01:50 ] Guy I Was Hunting > well you leave the system and i pay you
[ 2013.12.20 17:02:09 ] Saji'us > no no my friend, the one with the gun to his head does not do the negotiating.
[ 2013.12.20 17:02:21 ] Guy I Was Hunting > i can just go away
[ 2013.12.20 17:02:27 ] Saji'us > You could, yep.
[ 2013.12.20 17:02:29 ] Saji'us > and i will follow.
[ 2013.12.20 17:02:41 ] Saji'us > or you pay, and I bugger off to hunt cov ops worth 10x your probe.
[ 2013.12.20 17:04:10 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1 > according to eve-kill, this guy is damn good
[ 2013.12.20 17:04:17 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 1> just putting that out their
[ 2013.12.20 17:04:41 ] Guy I Was Hunting > back , fine paying
[ 2013.12.20 17:04:48 ] Guy I Was Hunting> hope you keep your word
[ 2013.12.20 17:05:04 ] Guy I Was Hunting > done
[ 2013.12.20 17:05:14 ] Saji'us > 5mill received. Leaving system.
[ 2013.12.20 17:05:22 ] Guy I Was Hunting > o7
[ 2013.12.20 17:05:28 ] Saji'us > *nods*
[ 2013.12.20 17:06:17 ] Saji'us > I am gone. Fly safe(er).
[ 2013.12.20 17:06:38 ] Random Person in Public Channel # 4 > o/
[ 2013.12.20 17:06:40 ] Saji'us > And o/ to all the wonderful people of this channel, it was a unexpected pleasant surprise being here.
Leto Thule
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#851 - 2013-12-24 14:39:16 UTC  |  Edited by: Leto Thule
So, I recently decided to try using one of my alt's to help out a buddy with AWOX jobs. It only took about a half hour to get where I needed to be in order to fly an osprey with decent reps and a cap stable fit.

Our primary target is a mining corp with an orca. So he joins up, they dont do a check, and the game is on. Unfortunately, the corp is dead, and only one person is on.

But...

He is flying a Navy Megathron. That will do nicely. My buddy convos him, appearing to be in awe that someone in his new corp owns one. Pride comes before the fall, so the guy links his shitfit.
______________
T1 425 Railguns
Drone damage augmenter

Cap boosters and a tracking computer

Armor hardners and two reppers, but no plates.

Three large capacitor control circuits for rigs.... and he is a 2013 toon.
______________


Logic will prevail here in the assumption that there is no way this sad, poor megathron is being flown correctly. A fitting fully focused on powergrid gives away the fact that he hasnt trained up his support skills.

Point being, easy work for a low skill gnossis pilot with perma-reps and a cap chain. I undock and head to his system. The target has agreed to duel at the sun, eager to show off his prowess in the miserable faction battleship he is piloting.

The duel begins between my friend and the AWOX target. I target both players and initiate remote shield boosts and cap. The mega loses its buffer quickly, and is into armor... where we start to have a problem. Its also about this time the target notices that some random osprey is here, providing sheild.

Target: Who's that guy?
Buddy: Oh him? He is repping me so I dont die until you pay. 500m to keep it.

So, the blasters on my friends gnossis arent really doing work on the mega's dual reps. This is going to take a while. He isnt paying, and is determined to enslave this poor megathron for a while longer. But, he obviously is not going anywhere, and he cant even HIT the close orbiting gnossis with his 425 rails. His ogre 1's are hitting... but cant break a repped tank.

Frustrated with his inability to escape, he takes a potshot at me.

Yep, me. The guy who he does not have a legal engagement with... in hisec.

I laugh out loud, literally. CONCORD arrives, and finally releases the impoverished megathron from its bonds. It breathes a sigh of relief as its innards are exposed to vacuum.

My buddy managed to get the kill mail, and links in a few select channels... almost a 600m loss... to CONCORD. Target of course begins to cry (ill be posting the pastebin as soon as I get it from my cohort) and ends up getting wardecced by some of the corps in BU. I also have a killright on a target I know likes to fly expensive faction ships he cannot pilot.

Hopefully, next time ill get paid.. but it was worth the laugh nonetheless. Moral here? You should probably understand game mechanics if your going to fly a faction battleship.

Thunderdome ringmaster, Community Leader and Lord Inquisitor to the Court of Crime and Punishment
Inxentas Ultramar
Ultramar Independent Contracting
#852 - 2013-12-29 01:04:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Inxentas Ultramar
Small little note hardly worth of a post, but here goes. I admit to carebearing with PI. Just a little I promise. So this mammoth shows up. My buddy in his interceptor grabs him at a CO, I pop a few rounds of AC fire into it too to quicken the kill and the loot fairy smiles for a change: 72714 units of Reactive metals get fed directly into the very PI chain helping to cover the cost of our piwate deffstar in the same system. Thank you, random mammoth pilot.

And remember: shop safely! POCO's of the competition are expensive and unsafe, I guarantee full customer satisfaction using our services. Pirate
Liam Inkuras
Furnace
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
#853 - 2013-12-30 00:01:31 UTC  |  Edited by: Liam Inkuras
So here's a little story from a few weeks ago.

I was tooling around my local highsec systems neighboring my home, flipping cans, going suspect, and bumping barges. I warped into a belt that I'd scanned an Orca, and a few barges at. Feeling ambitious, I have the Orca a mighty bump with my Hawk, sending him careening away at a blistering 50 m/s. Two of the barges warped off, and I anticipated their return in combat ships to engage me in glorious battle. I bumped the Orca for a few more minutes, as my suspect timer ticked down to 2 minutes. I spot a Gnosis on scan, and to my pleasant surprise he lands atop of the Orca next to me. Even more surprising was the Orca locking me up, and I playfully challenged him to a duel. The acceptance message blares across my screen, and the Orca begins flashing blue on my overview.

For a few moments, I'm unsure if this is really happening. I quickly recover my senses and lock the Orca up, and activate tackle. He deploys Hammerheads, which I easily dodge. My suspect timer drops and the Gnosis locks me up, preparing to wh0re on Concordokken, I deactivate my rockets. Sadly, he did not aggress me, so I settled back in on the Orca. Minutes pass, and his buffer is slowly dissolving beneath my rockets. His shields dissapear into armor, and that into hull.

I decide to try for a ransom, and invite the pilot to a convo. For a cool 600million, I offered the release of his Orca. He stays silent. So be it I decide, and procede to Destroy him.

Shame the Ishtar didn't drop, and no tears were siphoned, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

I wear my goggles at night.

Any spelling/grammatical errors come complimentary with my typing on a phone
Effect One
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#854 - 2013-12-30 14:46:37 UTC
Not really a pirate story but amusing I think. Put a small bounty on a character in local to let my WT corp know that I knew he was one of their alts (normally causes tears). Character convo'd me kicking up a massive fuss and claiming not to be anyone's alt, demanding that I 'lift the bounty'.

So being an upstanding, agreeable member of the community I agreed to lift his bounty. He went afk and I sent him an evemail confirming that his bounty had been 'lifted' after putting another 10m on him.

_
Bounty
From: Effect One
Sent: 2013.12.27 22:56
To: XXX,

There you go, bounty lifted.

Regards,

- Effect
_
Much to my dissapointment, he responded with this (clearly hadn't read the notification):

_
Bounty
From: XXX
Sent: 2013.12.27 23:32
To: Effect One,

Just got back. Thanks, man. That could've gotten annoying. Let me know when/if I can do anything to return the favor.

XXX
_

I forgot about it and went to bed. Woke up in the morning to this little gem:

_
...seriously?
From: XXX
Sent: 2013.12.28 04:47
To: Effect One,

Okay, clearly you and mister "death comes for you" are trolling me. Not sure why, but whatever.

Anyway, I'm going to be your new one man fan club until both bounties on me are lifted. I hope you're not too attached to your Effect One character.

You'll be all I can talk about in local, my friend. I'm going to tell everyone in about how, against all odds, a "sweet, trusting gay man like yours truly" managed to find love online, and it was all thanks to you... "sweetie". And I won't be the only one preaching about how "open-minded Swan is to new members with alternative lifestyles".

This is what happens when you troll a writer with time on his hands, bro. Enjoy.
_

Apparently it's cool to threaten people into doing things by demonstrating homophobic behaviour in local and other places now. Who knew? My response:

_
...seriously?
From: Effect One
Sent: 2013.12.28 11:45
To: XXX,

Interesting. They may even take you seriously, given your effeminate writing style.

Your sweetie,

- Effect
_

'This might be internet spaceships, but it's not rocket science to protect yourself and fly with a little common sense' - CCP Falcon
Leto Thule
Caldari Provisions
Caldari State
#855 - 2013-12-30 14:54:20 UTC
Effect One wrote:
Not really a pirate story but amusing I think. Put a small bounty on a character in local to let my WT corp know that I knew he was one of their alts (normally causes tears). Character convo'd me kicking up a massive fuss and claiming not to be anyone's alt, demanding that I 'lift the bounty'.

So being an upstanding, agreeable member of the community I agreed to lift his bounty. He went afk and I sent him an evemail confirming that his bounty had been 'lifted' after putting another 10m on him.

_
Bounty
From: Effect One
Sent: 2013.12.27 22:56
To: XXX,

There you go, bounty lifted.

Regards,

- Effect
_
Much to my dissapointment, he responded with this (clearly hadn't read the notification):

_
Bounty
From: XXX
Sent: 2013.12.27 23:32
To: Effect One,

Just got back. Thanks, man. That could've gotten annoying. Let me know when/if I can do anything to return the favor.

XXX
_

I forgot about it and went to bed. Woke up in the morning to this little gem:

_
...seriously?
From: XXX
Sent: 2013.12.28 04:47
To: Effect One,

Okay, clearly you and mister "death comes for you" are trolling me. Not sure why, but whatever.

Anyway, I'm going to be your new one man fan club until both bounties on me are lifted. I hope you're not too attached to your Effect One character.

You'll be all I can talk about in local, my friend. I'm going to tell everyone in about how, against all odds, a "sweet, trusting gay man like yours truly" managed to find love online, and it was all thanks to you... "sweetie". And I won't be the only one preaching about how "open-minded Swan is to new members with alternative lifestyles".

This is what happens when you troll a writer with time on his hands, bro. Enjoy.
_

Apparently it's cool to threaten people into doing things by demonstrating homophobic behaviour in local and other places now. Who knew? My response:

_
...seriously?
From: Effect One
Sent: 2013.12.28 11:45
To: XXX,

Interesting. They may even take you seriously, given your effeminate writing style.

Your sweetie,

- Effect
_


HAH!

Thunderdome ringmaster, Community Leader and Lord Inquisitor to the Court of Crime and Punishment
Sevendeadly Sins
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#856 - 2013-12-30 17:51:17 UTC
Effect One wrote:


Your sweetie,

- Effect
_[/i]

Ahh! that must've been like twisting the dagger that was plunged into his balls.

Nicely done :)

http://www.zombo.com
Sawdeth Ternius
BobVult
#857 - 2014-01-13 15:30:24 UTC
Cannibal Kane wrote:
This was just your average can flipping.

What made this special is the total over reaction of this guy.

I was on my way back to my home station and as i normally do I run a quick directional through the belts to see what is there.

I see a Covetor and a can so i warp to belt flip an and he promptly leaves. Only to come back with a badger and then
promptly loose his badger. At this point most people dock up for the rest of the 15 minutes so i pop the can and wreck
to get back on route.

I had to do a double take since this guy warps back into the same belt with his Covetor and start mining again.
Needless to say, he lost that ship as well.

Then he convos me...

*Sorry if the cuss filter does not work. It might have crashed due to all the **** it had to add.



[20:16:27] Victim; ur a ****ing ******
[20:16:43] Cannibal Kane ; i gave you a choice
[20:16:52] Cannibal Kane ; you took the wrong one
[20:16:59] Victim; no u didnt u *****
[20:17:09] Victim; ur a studipid little kid
[20:17:33] Cannibal Kane ; *stupid
[20:17:43] Victim; i dont have ****ing isk cuz im not a ****ing *** that lives off this game like its my real life
[20:18:12] Cannibal Kane ; good one... yet your the one crying about a loss
[20:18:36] Victim; u stupid dumb ****ing *** i wish i knew what u looked like i dont give a **** if i go to jail i wanna cripple u u ****ing stupid little kid
[20:18:50] Victim; **** u
[20:19:04] Cannibal Kane ; wow.... internet space ships are serious busniess huh?
[20:19:06] Victim; go **** ur mother u ***** faggoot
[20:19:43] Cannibal Kane ; would you like a carebear hug?
[20:19:54] Victim; i hope ur mother gets rapped and killed
[20:20:07] Victim; go **** ur mother
[20:20:29] Cannibal Kane ; you said that one already.. dig a bit deaper in your repretuar of insults
[20:21:08] Victim; and go jump off a bridge i hope u get beat up and wen u do remember me id ****ing kill u u ****ing ****** id **** ur mom infront of you
[20:21:23] Victim; go **** ur mother
[20:21:24] Cannibal Kane ; a little more....
[20:21:32] Cannibal Kane ; then breath deep and breath out
[20:21:33] Victim; go **** your mother
[20:21:57] Cannibal Kane ; if you hurry you can get a nother ship to loose?
[20:22:39] Victim; lol ur a stupid kid i ****ing cant belive the **** ull go though while growing up . ull get hit soo ****ing hard u wont remember your name or ull be made fun of
[20:23:16] Cannibal Kane ; yep... you hit the spot right there... but you don;t see my crying over internet space ships....
[20:23:29] Cannibal Kane ; you sure your not talking to yourself in the mirror right now?
[20:23:39] Cannibal Kane ; and accidently typing it in here
[20:23:45] Victim; go get me 20 mil
[20:24:06] Victim; i want 20 mill
[20:24:13] Cannibal Kane ; i;ll drop it in my can right here.. go get a ship quicly to pick it up
[20:25:31] Victim; you think this is funny? youu shouldnt **** with people youu dont know. i suggest you get me 20 mill and we call it even.
[20:26:02] Cannibal Kane ; how about you give me 20 mil... for my trouble and for wasting my ammo on you
[20:26:29] Victim; do you live in america or canada
[20:26:38] Cannibal Kane ; canada
[20:26:48] Victim; where in canada
[20:27:07] Victim; ??
[20:27:18] Cannibal Kane ; toronto
[20:27:36] Victim; yeah right
[20:27:51] Victim; hey r u busy today?

At this point his tone changes, I don't really live in Canada, but google is awesome when you want to find out about places.

[20:28:01] Cannibal Kane ; not really
[20:28:09] Cannibal Kane ; just shooting at idiots
[20:28:59] Victim; wanna meet me at the timmies on jane n finch at around 8 pm
[20:29:41] Cannibal Kane ; im on the other side of north york
[20:29:58] Cannibal Kane ; but sure
[20:32:24] Victim; dude dont even bother, stick to ur video games man i feel bad ****ing up a kid cuz of a game, but i just want you to know u relly pissed me off still. and dont go to that area cuz if i c a little white kid ill punch u
[20:32:52] Cannibal Kane ; you a strong manly man.... give me my 20mil
[20:33:02] Victim; lol
[20:33:18] Victim; nice battle little kid next time ill put up a fight

At the end he seems less tense about his loss.


Man, every time I read this stuff is funny as helll. Plz keep posting more of these, comic acts, please.
Sevendeadly Sins
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#858 - 2014-01-13 15:49:13 UTC
Sawdeth Ternius wrote:
Cannibal Kane wrote:
This was just your average can flipping.

What made this special is the total over reaction of this guy.

I was on my way back to my home station and as i normally do I run a quick directional through the belts to see what is there.

I see a Covetor and a can so i warp to belt flip an and he promptly leaves. Only to come back with a badger and then
promptly loose his badger. At this point most people dock up for the rest of the 15 minutes so i pop the can and wreck
to get back on route.

I had to do a double take since this guy warps back into the same belt with his Covetor and start mining again.
Needless to say, he lost that ship as well.

Then he convos me...

*Sorry if the cuss filter does not work. It might have crashed due to all the **** it had to add.



[20:16:27] Victim; ur a ****ing ******
[20:16:43] Cannibal Kane ; i gave you a choice
[20:16:52] Cannibal Kane ; you took the wrong one
[20:16:59] Victim; no u didnt u *****
[20:17:09] Victim; ur a studipid little kid
[20:17:33] Cannibal Kane ; *stupid
[20:17:43] Victim; i dont have ****ing isk cuz im not a ****ing *** that lives off this game like its my real life
[20:18:12] Cannibal Kane ; good one... yet your the one crying about a loss
[20:18:36] Victim; u stupid dumb ****ing *** i wish i knew what u looked like i dont give a **** if i go to jail i wanna cripple u u ****ing stupid little kid
[20:18:50] Victim; **** u
[20:19:04] Cannibal Kane ; wow.... internet space ships are serious busniess huh?
[20:19:06] Victim; go **** ur mother u ***** faggoot
[20:19:43] Cannibal Kane ; would you like a carebear hug?
[20:19:54] Victim; i hope ur mother gets rapped and killed
[20:20:07] Victim; go **** ur mother
[20:20:29] Cannibal Kane ; you said that one already.. dig a bit deaper in your repretuar of insults
[20:21:08] Victim; and go jump off a bridge i hope u get beat up and wen u do remember me id ****ing kill u u ****ing ****** id **** ur mom infront of you
[20:21:23] Victim; go **** ur mother
[20:21:24] Cannibal Kane ; a little more....
[20:21:32] Cannibal Kane ; then breath deep and breath out
[20:21:33] Victim; go **** your mother
[20:21:57] Cannibal Kane ; if you hurry you can get a nother ship to loose?
[20:22:39] Victim; lol ur a stupid kid i ****ing cant belive the **** ull go though while growing up . ull get hit soo ****ing hard u wont remember your name or ull be made fun of
[20:23:16] Cannibal Kane ; yep... you hit the spot right there... but you don;t see my crying over internet space ships....
[20:23:29] Cannibal Kane ; you sure your not talking to yourself in the mirror right now?
[20:23:39] Cannibal Kane ; and accidently typing it in here
[20:23:45] Victim; go get me 20 mil
[20:24:06] Victim; i want 20 mill
[20:24:13] Cannibal Kane ; i;ll drop it in my can right here.. go get a ship quicly to pick it up
[20:25:31] Victim; you think this is funny? youu shouldnt **** with people youu dont know. i suggest you get me 20 mill and we call it even.
[20:26:02] Cannibal Kane ; how about you give me 20 mil... for my trouble and for wasting my ammo on you
[20:26:29] Victim; do you live in america or canada
[20:26:38] Cannibal Kane ; canada
[20:26:48] Victim; where in canada
[20:27:07] Victim; ??
[20:27:18] Cannibal Kane ; toronto
[20:27:36] Victim; yeah right
[20:27:51] Victim; hey r u busy today?

At this point his tone changes, I don't really live in Canada, but google is awesome when you want to find out about places.

[20:28:01] Cannibal Kane ; not really
[20:28:09] Cannibal Kane ; just shooting at idiots
[20:28:59] Victim; wanna meet me at the timmies on jane n finch at around 8 pm
[20:29:41] Cannibal Kane ; im on the other side of north york
[20:29:58] Cannibal Kane ; but sure
[20:32:24] Victim; dude dont even bother, stick to ur video games man i feel bad ****ing up a kid cuz of a game, but i just want you to know u relly pissed me off still. and dont go to that area cuz if i c a little white kid ill punch u
[20:32:52] Cannibal Kane ; you a strong manly man.... give me my 20mil
[20:33:02] Victim; lol
[20:33:18] Victim; nice battle little kid next time ill put up a fight

At the end he seems less tense about his loss.


Man, every time I read this stuff is funny as helll. Plz keep posting more of these, comic acts, please.

I imagine the raging dude as a fat hipster in the basement typing FURIOUSLY at the keyboard, while his mother is shouting "Dinner's ready!"

Funny stuff.

http://www.zombo.com
Kaea Astridsson
Hoplite Brigade
Ushra'Khan
#859 - 2014-01-16 16:11:01 UTC
Lately there has been this crew of miners in my homesystem - with one constanly being flagged as suspect. So I decided to try my luck at finding this one as he held a bounty for about 13mil.

So, off I go in search for their belt - thankfully they all kept their names on the ship so scanning them down went fast, but the one flagged suspect got away. Or so I thought! Oblivious of being suspect, or maybe botting? He docked his Miasmos, and undocked just a second later - where I landed on him and started my gatling guns. Soon enough he went pop - docked up - and came back out again in a second Miasmos. Now I was certain it was either a bad bot or a terrible player.

I landed point, but yet he warped off to belt - so my guess was he fitted stabs. I docked as fast I could and reshipped to something with scrams and went out againt to hunt. But no luck, he was now only emptying his own can and I couldn't do more.

But what do I find the next day if not him in his Miasmos suspect flagged again, just sitting out in the SAME belt. I went in for the kill and as his pod was inactive I decided to shot that one also. This landed me a convo that made me think of this thread. Enjoy.

[
Quote:
15:23:14] Suspect Miasmos > I ****** your mother's ass on your eyes and lips held by a **** to your father. you ******* rat and your ******* parents die from cancer, I pray for their meal at the death in the mosque
[15:23:43] Kaea Astridsson > Did not expect that one! Was more exppecting 1001010011010111
[15:24:02] Kaea Astridsson > But seriously, stop making yourself suspect
[15:24:32] Kaea Astridsson > I'm guessing you're botting or multiboxing, more leaning toward botting
[15:25:06] Kaea Astridsson > Either way, you better change bot client or something
[15:25:38] Kaea Astridsson > If you are doing this manually, get in fleet with your "friends" and you'll probs won't get flagged as suspect
[15:25:41] Suspect Miasmos > I carry ore from containers his second character. what the **** you come in high секах in the wrong moments, ******* your mouth
[15:26:19] Kaea Astridsson > Still, as you're not in fleet and he hasn't abandoned container, you're the one committing crime, I'm just collecting on your bounty
[15:26:55] Suspect Miasmos > you're an idiot. containers delivered the other characters and even friends may not be used. in any case, be a flag
[15:27:51] Suspect Miasmos > in my places you would have for such actions in real life kicked on the head it's called rat
[15:28:04] Kaea Astridsson > You really need to calm down man, I'm trying to tell you how to avoid this
[15:28:44] Kaea Astridsson > And also, this is not real life, it's a game
[15:28:53] Suspect Miasmos > people who rat is the extreme degree of disrespect because mining is by no skills and on the sly
[15:30:01] Suspect Miasmos > your actions which do not bring even you no good to take my 10 minutes of life
[15:30:03] Kaea Astridsson > think you lost me there though, but anyway, fleet up with your miners, or have them abandon containers before you loot
[15:30:55] Kaea Astridsson > That way, I loose my ship trying to shoot you
[15:31:13] Suspect Miasmos > containers are not ordinary and 250 cubic meters idiot cannot be abandoned. go pass the re-training courses and not **** brains noob
[15:32:33] Kaea Astridsson > ok, but know then that suspect = fair game. It's a risk you're taking
[15:33:13] Kaea Astridsson > And as you undoced immediatly in another Miasmor last night when I shot you, I thought you and your crew were bots
[15:33:43] Suspect Miasmos > your mother will die of cancer this is a fair return for your actions rat
[15:34:04] Kaea Astridsson > Dude, what's up with your manners?
[15:34:27] Kaea Astridsson > You don't scream at people shooting you in a game like battlefield do you?
[15:34:47] Suspect Miasmos > you stupid creature go do the lessons tomorrow you in school. your mouth ******.
[15:35:36] Suspect Miasmos > the **** you are homosexual



Get on Comms, or die typing.
johny chimmpo
DrunkenClam
#860 - 2014-01-18 08:47:47 UTC
Yes its a bit TLDR but I had to post Backstory I gank a buy with a plex it explodes but I have another in staion from a while back
victim convos me this is what happens


johny chimmpo > yarrrr
victim> Did you take the plex?
johny chimmpo > howww can eye help yee
victim> ^
johny chimmpo > arr the plex good booty it is
ictim> Ill give you 500mil for it
johny chimmpo > send it
victim > Ha you think im stupid
johny chimmpo > yar why would i want to sell ye the plex for 500 when i can for 600 on market
victim > Cmon man I worked my ass off for that... lets work something out
johny chimmpo > yi shall make ye a deal you send me 300 now and the plex is all yours its a risk ye must take
johny chimmpo > i be at
johny chimmpo > yiti staion planet v
victim> I cant just a pirate... I can make you as much ammo as youd like for free?
victim> cant trust*
johny chimmpo > yarr us pirates alway honor our deals
victim > lol
johny chimmpo > tis the only thing we honor is our word
johny chimmpo > Jita V - Moon 14 - Ytiri Storage be the station
johny chimmpo > i shall open trade
victim > I will only do it if you put the plex in and check first..
johny chimmpo > arrr ye must think me stupid
johny chimmpo > i shall show u plex
johny chimmpo > but not check until money is sent
johny chimmpo > ye must come to me as condcord will kill me if i leave
victim> What fucks do you give
johny chimmpo > yar if concord blows me up thy plex could explode as well
victim > http://gyazo.com/ec5ba87ab253ed69756fcd2e93e3b23f If you check first youll get yoour 300mil
johny chimmpo > yarr i do not think so you see
johny chimmpo > tis my rules matey
johny chimmpo > i hold ye bounty
johny chimmpo > i try to make ye a deal where we both come out aheaad
johny chimmpo > yar make it quick matey we all must log soon
johny chimmpo > send thee 300 matey
johny chimmpo > yar i said send not trade
johny chimmpo > ye no have a deal
victim > you check I check
victim> I could do better if i was trying to scam you
johny chimmpo > yarr there be no scam here only a humble pirates code
johny chimmpo > i gave ye me word
victim > YOUR A ******* PIRATE
johny chimmpo > yar tis true tis true
victim > NO ONE TRUSTS YOU
johny chimmpo > but we priate always honor we deals
johny chimmpo > tis the only thign we have
johny chimmpo > arr tis fine me matey i shall sell it on market for 600
johny chimmpo > was trying to cut ye a break ya see
johny chimmpo > let ye recoop some of ye loss
victim> You just lew up my 10mil industrial with over 600mil in itt and now your trying to scam me. Dumdest pirate ever
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > tis no scam matey
johny chimmpo > but if you do not want the deal i sw bid you farewell
victim> Come the **** on dude
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > tis me terms
victim> I worked and used my money to buy that and your just take it
johny chimmpo > yar i shall meake ye one last deal
johny chimmpo > 250 send to me treasure chest and she is all yours
victim> Just gonna take my $20 ussd
johny chimmpo > and ye can have ye treasue back
victim > 150
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > no sir
johny chimmpo > 250 is me price
johny chimmpo > yarr dowtime is soon me matey
victim> Dude please Im literally begging you
johny chimmpo > ye need not beg
johny chimmpo > ive named me terms
victim > I spent money for that ****. money i worked for and your just gonna take it from me? how the **** does that make you feel
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > ye can have it back for ye in game money
victim > I will NOT SEND you the ISK I will do it by trade
johny chimmpo > yarr then we have no deal matey
johny chimmpo > tis a right of repect i require
johny chimmpo > and trust
johny chimmpo > i have given ye me word
victim > 200mil
johny chimmpo > yarr ye be quite thee trader
johny chimmpo > we shall meet at 225 ( I see wallet flash 225 mil sent)
johny chimmpo > yarr tis a sad day me matey but ye plex was destoyed in glorious battle Kill: victim (Bestower)
johny chimmpo > yar ye see i cannot trade ye someone elses booty
victim> I HOPE YOU ******* DOIE
victim > DIE
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > ye can navva trust ye priates
victim > Gimme my ISK back
victim > What can i do?
johny chimmpo > yarr tis my isk matey
victim > I can make you ships for free
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > what ships can ye make
victim > What would you like?
victim> Nothing INSANE
johny chimmpo > yarrr i have thee ships i need
victim > People like should be thrown into a ******* fire
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > that be a bit extreme matey
victim> Quite with the yarr ****
victim > you ******* scum bag
johny chimmpo > but i be a pirate ye see
johny chimmpo > what was ye thingin flying thee most precious booty in a hauler
victim> English please
johny chimmpo > why would ye fly ye plex around
victim > Was gonna sell it
johny chimmpo > ye was foolish on that part
victim> Ive done it many times before
victim > So whyd you pick me?
johny chimmpo > ye be first one i see
victim > Well I hope you dont live in Jita
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > i travel thy seas
johny chimmpo > yar tis time to make way to me port
victim > If i ever see you again, better be in a good ship ya ****
johny chimmpo > yarr
johny chimmpo > i be seeing ya
victim> Ya i hope so
victim > You spinless bastard