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ELI5: What does this Alliance mail want me to do?

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Ruskarn Andedare
Lion Investments
#41 - 2014-01-13 14:53:34 UTC
Tebizla wrote:
Skill Training Online wrote:
Quote:
From: [DIRECTOR]
TO: [THE WHOLE ALLIANCE]
Subject: Compliance Statement

The strategic fleet plan has been developed, the initiatives identified have been translated into an action plan incorporating a set of defined objectives with precise expected results, due dates, priorities, and responsibilities.

Keep in mind fleet planning differs from strategic planning in its short-term horizon. Included is a list of projects that will be implemented in order of priority as well as projects that are in progress from prior operational plans. You have been provided specific, measurable goals, and general estimates of costs and benefits for completion.

Capital fleet expenditures must be identified and justified. Responsibility for achievement of the objectives, actions, and projects is also required for reimbursement. Action reports must include specific details, responsibilities, and date the project that moved in to the implementation stage.

Stay vigilant and compliant, once set in motion, our operational plan will naturally be less flexible than these strategic plans.

[HERE IS A LIST OF SYSTEMS] [ HERE IS A LIST OF TARGETS] [HERE IS THE SRP BUDGET]


So that EVEmail contains more buzzwords and confusion than I could possibly imagine... as a rank and file fleet attendee WTF Does any of this mean to me?

ELI5: Explain it to me like I was 5 years old =P


This alliance mails wants your eyes to bleed.


Nah, the [DIRECTOR] is busy awoxing the alliance and wants you all in a state of total confusion while he does it.
embrel
BamBam Inc.
#42 - 2014-01-13 15:36:06 UTC  |  Edited by: embrel
I do have a question regarding the strategic plan: when will you be in VFK?
Ptraci
3 R Corporation
#43 - 2014-01-13 15:43:20 UTC
Skill Training Online wrote:

So that EVEmail contains more buzzwords and confusion than I could possibly imagine... as a rank and file fleet attendee WTF Does any of this mean to me?
ELI5: Explain it to me like I was 5 years old =P


It means your reading comprehension skill needs to be trained up, just injecting the skill book is not enough. Apparently you have already been provided with instructions, this mail is simply reminding you to carry out those instructions like a good little scrub.
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#44 - 2014-01-13 16:05:34 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Jacob Holland wrote:
Wrayeth wrote:
I'm always bemused and mildly disgusted by business people who talk corpspeak to normal folks or even their low-level underlings as if they actually care about corporate buzzwords. I just want to shout, "News flash: none of us give a ****! Start talking like a human being!"

Corporate buzzwords, the entire mode of speech used by upper management in fact, is an exclusive language - it is designed to create bonds within the cadre and to exclude those outside the cadre from what is being discussed and, just like other exclusive languages (technical jargon, rhyming slang...etc), our brains rapidly become habituated to using it.
An inability to revert speech patterns when talking to the "lower orders" is quite common, in part because, like Newspeak, the language actually affects the way you think; switching languages is quite difficult in and of itself - even a native German speaker will often have difficulty finding their German if habituated to French (although not quite the same thing those relatively fluent in both languages often have difficulty in Switzerland).

When managers end up talking to "lower orders" in such a way it is generally a sign that they are spending too much time with other managers, this may be a result of recent immersion (some multi-day seminar or team-building exercise) or it may be indicative of a (perhaps) unhealthy detachment from the focus of their responsibilities, the coal face as it were.

That cute/sexy/clever cliche buzzword crap drives me into a blind rage. At first. After a few hours or a three-day seminar of it, I just want to retch. People who use those buzzwords-of-the-moment are really just revealing their own limitations. Limitations in originality, creativity, and general intellect. A tendency to want to reduce complex things into simple categories.

Of course, management is much more about interpersonal savvy and aggressive ambition than about intellectualism. So in the end limited intellect and creativity don't matter much. It's a closed loop of similar personalities and similar minds just massaging and applauding each other and nodding along.

Anyway, here's Business Cat
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