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How to cook a turkey
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Acac Sunflyier
The Ascended Academy
#1 - 2011-11-23 19:19:48 UTC
How to cook a turkey:

1. Go buy a turkey.
2. Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) or Jack Daniels.
3. Put turkey in the oven.
4. Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
5. Set the degree at 375 ovens
6. Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
7. Turn oven the on.
8. Take 4 whisks of drinky.
9. Turk the bastey.
10. Whiskey another bottle of get.
11. Stick a turkey in the thermometer
12. Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
13. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
14. Take the oven out of the turkey.
15. Take the oven out of the turkey.
16. Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
17. Turk the carvey.
18. Get yourself another scottle of botch.
19. Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
20. Bless the saying, pass and eat out


Happy holidays!
Marie Hartinez
Aries Munitions and Defense
#2 - 2011-11-23 19:29:25 UTC
This goes our pretty much day is how. P

Surrender is still your slightly less painful option.
Endeavour Starfleet
#3 - 2011-11-23 20:16:28 UTC  |  Edited by: Endeavour Starfleet
Nice!

Tho be careful folks. If you are frying a turkey NEVER NEVER use a frozen turkey.

There was a fire dept demonstration a few years back where a robotic arm dropped a frozen turkey into a prepared fryer. The oil jumped and mixed in the air. You get the rest (Nothing left of the apparatus after a few seconds)

You could not believe how many dumbasses burn down their house doing that. (One of the videos had a fryer burning up ON A WOOD DECK! WUT?)
Alpheias
Tactical Farmers.
Pandemic Horde
#4 - 2011-11-23 20:39:22 UTC
Even easier method: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nJLpx0Qx1o

Agent of Chaos, Sower of Discord.

Don't talk to me unless you are IQ verified and certified with three references from non-family members. Please have your certificate of authenticity on hand.
BLACK-STAR
#5 - 2011-11-23 23:21:08 UTC
if you follow these directions precisely you might die in a fire.
Marie Hartinez
Aries Munitions and Defense
#6 - 2011-11-24 02:47:27 UTC
BLACK-STAR wrote:
if you follow these directions precisely you might die in a fire.


Which in my case may be a better option then hanging out with my wife's sisters. Blink

Surrender is still your slightly less painful option.
leviticus ander
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2011-11-24 03:52:17 UTC
no, this is how you cook a turkey. and before someone comes up with this years one, that's how you cook 10 turkeys.
Marie Hartinez
Aries Munitions and Defense
#8 - 2011-11-24 04:58:28 UTC
leviticus ander wrote:
no, this is how you cook a turkey. and before someone comes up with this years one, that's how you cook 10 turkeys.


All I can say is: where is the bacon? Blink

Surrender is still your slightly less painful option.