Intergalactic Summit

Amid the lava flows of Mehatoor I, amid the Magma Extractors and the Silicon Processors, I have a crack team of Sebiestor engineers developing a new line of slave collars. They are tuning these slave collars not to the anatomy of their Minmatar countrymen, however, but to a people whose subjection into slavery is yet to come. These slave collars are for the Jove.

For the day will come when the treachery of Vak'Atioth is repaid in full and fleets of Bestowers descend upon the blasted, shattered planets of what was the Jove Empire, seeking whatever flesh might be taken back to the Amarr slave markets. Although Jove stand just four feet tall and their disease makes them ill fit for manual labor, I shall pay any price to obtain them, for I seek not workers but retribution. Having assembled my new Jove slaves, I shall glorify God in the ancient rite of decimation — one in ten Jove will be called out and then in front of their countrymen hacked to pieces. This and other horrors await my Jove slaves, but know this: nothing I can inflict even bears remote comparison to what awaits all Jove in the afterlife, where God consigns them to the Lowest Hell — lower even, than the Hell for the Gallente — the Hell where the butchery surpasses all human understanding.

O Empyrean, be not deceived when the Jove condescend to fly among us, sometimes in vessels bearing the mysterious letters “CCP”. Being latter-day Moloks, they tempt us with their false religion, the Society of Conscious Thought; they tempt us with Apotheosis — the very word a blasphemy; having turned against the true God, we are given cloning and capsule technology that we might think ourselves gods. Yet the Amarr have a mighty Empress and a mighty God, and in the last the Jove will meet the same end as Molok — sacrificed upon the altar of God — and will know the butchery surpassing all human understanding.

Thus, to you follow after the Jove: repent, and come to serve, obey, and fight with God and his only true instrument in the world, the Amarr Empire. To the Jove themselves: the wrath of God waxes large against you. What a meager chance of salvation remains for you! Surrender and throw yourself on the mercy of the Empress, for as the Scriptures say,


The butchery that surpasses all human understanding awaits you, Jovian. Amen. Amarr Victor.

Mister Nauplius, you are a commoner and so do not have the authority to own slaves. Were you a Holder, then you would surely understand that it is a sacred duty to save your charges from their sins so that they might enter Heaven and be embraced by God's Divine Light, and not for your personal lust for blood and vengeance.

Quite funny. I look forward to your next piece.

Ms. Kernher, I think you missed the satirical nature of the piece.

Rabble rabble hell, rabble collar, rabble rabble, rabilly rablty vitoc, rabllon rabldidi Nappy rabble...rabble rabble.
Amen.

I think he's just havin' a giggle with his 'sermons.'

Pilot —

As you are a member of the venerable PIE organization, I respect your opinion. However, God is glorified in the destruction of his most vile enemies, of which the Jove are surely the most vile of all. Was Molok the Deceiver enslaved and redeemed? No, he was slaughtered on the altar of God.

(Regarding authority, I am strictly speaking a Khanid Kingdom citizen, and in that Kingdom it is not unheard of for a wealthy commoner to own slaves. Of course I respect Imperial custom and would not flaunt my slaves if ever planetside or otherwise among Amarr baseliners, or even at an Amarr loyalist gathering of Empreans.)

Of course it's satire, no one is this crazy. It's a parody of some of the more fire and brimstone preachers that wind up on the late night holostreams. I'm not saying that reminding the sinners that punishment awaits them is bad, but they are a little over the top.

If there ever was a God, he was created by the Jove.

that sounds like a potential seed multibillion ISK religious empire in the making, hmmm...

Because the Royal Khanid Navy with whom I was a mid-ranking officer made me one, and I spent the early part of my Empyrean life performing missions for them. Why do you ask?