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Social Anxiety
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Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#41 - 2013-12-12 14:07:51 UTC
Samoth Egnoled wrote:
I was recently diagnosed with severe Depression and Anxiety, though i have been dealing with it for years and have only just seen a doctor about it. I am currently seeing a therapist for CBT (Cognetive Behavioural Therapy).

I generally don't speak on Teamspeak unless spoken too, or i have known the person for an extended period of time. That made recruiting for my last corp kinda hard for me, as bringing someone new onto Teamspeak put me back at square one again.

I generally don't talk in private chats if i can help it, its that fear of being one on one with someone. Works the same way on Teamspeak also.

I guess i am lucky that i have such an understanding corp really. The CBT has helped me massively in the past few weeks, I generally don't dwell on the bad stuff going through my head, I just act before i have a chance for that stuff gets to me.



Congratulations in starting the CBT, it very likely will improve your quality of life albeit it will also lead you to several WTF moments as you descend into the darker side to know what's there and learn to control it.

For years i hated the feeling of being unable to tell lies from truth, and even now, sometimes i can't tell wether a thought is for real or it's just one of my old bad habits, feedbacking itself.

Being depressed is depressing, that's one of the key concepts, you feel depressed because you are depressed and that biases your perception. And sometimes you just feel like that, for whatever reason, your serotonin plumetted last night and today you're up to a bad day. But tomorrow, you'll be OK.

Just one advice, CBT is slow and lenghty. Will take one to two years and about 50 to 100 sessions (75 to 150 hours) to be done properly, as it makes no miracles and all in all it's about how you manage your own brain... you could make it last literally for years.

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Samoth Egnoled
Caldari Provisions
#42 - 2013-12-13 07:25:13 UTC
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai wrote:
Samoth Egnoled wrote:
I was recently diagnosed with severe Depression and Anxiety, though i have been dealing with it for years and have only just seen a doctor about it. I am currently seeing a therapist for CBT (Cognetive Behavioural Therapy).

I generally don't speak on Teamspeak unless spoken too, or i have known the person for an extended period of time. That made recruiting for my last corp kinda hard for me, as bringing someone new onto Teamspeak put me back at square one again.

I generally don't talk in private chats if i can help it, its that fear of being one on one with someone. Works the same way on Teamspeak also.

I guess i am lucky that i have such an understanding corp really. The CBT has helped me massively in the past few weeks, I generally don't dwell on the bad stuff going through my head, I just act before i have a chance for that stuff gets to me.



Congratulations in starting the CBT, it very likely will improve your quality of life albeit it will also lead you to several WTF moments as you descend into the darker side to know what's there and learn to control it.

For years i hated the feeling of being unable to tell lies from truth, and even now, sometimes i can't tell wether a thought is for real or it's just one of my old bad habits, feedbacking itself.

Being depressed is depressing, that's one of the key concepts, you feel depressed because you are depressed and that biases your perception. And sometimes you just feel like that, for whatever reason, your serotonin plumetted last night and today you're up to a bad day. But tomorrow, you'll be OK.

Just one advice, CBT is slow and lenghty. Will take one to two years and about 50 to 100 sessions (75 to 150 hours) to be done properly, as it makes no miracles and all in all it's about how you manage your own brain... you could make it last literally for years.



Thanks Ish, The CBT definately seems to be making a change. Even though i have only had a few sessions, they have taught me how my thought patterns/ feelings/past experiences affect my behavior, and then how i use coping mechanisms to shield myself.

It is also showing me how those coping mechanisms are actually harming my mental health, by feeding the lies my brain is telling me. I have had alot of 'aha' moments the past month or so. I would say i am definately coming out of my shell, I wouldn't even be talking about this if i hadn't :)
Onyx Nyx
Trillium Invariant
Honorable Third Party
#43 - 2013-12-13 12:52:45 UTC
Took some time to think about this, I am a misanthrope which means I don't like a lot of people. I do think the world would be a better place if a lot of people suddenly spontaneously combusted whilst surrounded by friends and loved ones. It should be a little festive, yes?

Having said that, I do love conversations where there is an exchange, intellectual or otherwise, to be had, and as you all probably know from my posting history on Alpheias and Onyx Nyx, I enjoy arguments, debates and even (bad) trolling. For me, forums like these and VOIP lets me actually be social with people who I would otherwise rather not interact with at all.

I kill kittens, and puppies and bunnies. I maim toddlers and teens and then more.

  • Richard (http://www.lfgcomic.com/)
Victoria Sin
Doomheim
#44 - 2013-12-13 12:58:55 UTC
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Took some time to think about this, I am a misanthrope which means I don't like a lot of people. I do think the world would be a better place if a lot of people suddenly spontaneously combusted whilst surrounded by friends and loved ones. It should be a little festive, yes?

Having said that, I do love conversations where there is an exchange, intellectual or otherwise, to be had, and as you all probably know from my posting history on Alpheias and Onyx Nyx, I enjoy arguments, debates and even (bad) trolling. For me, forums like these and VOIP lets me actually be social with people who I would otherwise rather not interact with at all.


Yes, all true and all good. Although I would think of myself as a misanthrope, in reality when I have people staying over for a week or so, although they irritate (I'm totally relaxed with them, I mean they secretly irritate), I do miss them when they've gone. Actually it's a mixture of missing them and happy I can once again run around naked or sit in my pants on the sofa eating beans from a tin.

The grass is always greener, isn't it.
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#45 - 2013-12-13 16:57:20 UTC
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Having said that, I do love conversations where there is an exchange, intellectual or otherwise, to be had, and as you all probably know from my posting history on Alpheias and Onyx Nyx, I enjoy arguments, debates and even (bad) trolling. For me, forums like these and VOIP lets me actually be social with people who I would otherwise rather not interact with at all.


Don't forget evemailing me a million times when we are both online at the same time and you could just private message me. Oh, yes, you could. I believe you just like seeing the flashy mailbox icon. :)
Mizhir
Devara Biotech
#46 - 2013-12-13 16:59:49 UTC
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Having said that, I do love conversations where there is an exchange, intellectual or otherwise, to be had, and as you all probably know from my posting history on Alpheias and Onyx Nyx, I enjoy arguments, debates and even (bad) trolling. For me, forums like these and VOIP lets me actually be social with people who I would otherwise rather not interact with at all.


Don't forget evemailing me a million times when we are both online at the same time and you could just private message me. Oh, yes, you could. I believe you just like seeing the flashy mailbox icon. :)


I second this.

"Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: HEY!"

❤️️💛💚💙💜
Onyx Nyx
Trillium Invariant
Honorable Third Party
#47 - 2013-12-13 18:03:02 UTC
Mizhir wrote:
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Having said that, I do love conversations where there is an exchange, intellectual or otherwise, to be had, and as you all probably know from my posting history on Alpheias and Onyx Nyx, I enjoy arguments, debates and even (bad) trolling. For me, forums like these and VOIP lets me actually be social with people who I would otherwise rather not interact with at all.


Don't forget evemailing me a million times when we are both online at the same time and you could just private message me. Oh, yes, you could. I believe you just like seeing the flashy mailbox icon. :)


I second this.

"Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: HEY!"


Well, you both are literally like "OOOOOOO...SHINY!"

I kill kittens, and puppies and bunnies. I maim toddlers and teens and then more.

  • Richard (http://www.lfgcomic.com/)
Mizhir
Devara Biotech
#48 - 2013-12-13 18:04:13 UTC
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Mizhir wrote:
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Having said that, I do love conversations where there is an exchange, intellectual or otherwise, to be had, and as you all probably know from my posting history on Alpheias and Onyx Nyx, I enjoy arguments, debates and even (bad) trolling. For me, forums like these and VOIP lets me actually be social with people who I would otherwise rather not interact with at all.


Don't forget evemailing me a million times when we are both online at the same time and you could just private message me. Oh, yes, you could. I believe you just like seeing the flashy mailbox icon. :)


I second this.

"Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: HEY!"


Well, you both are literally like "OOOOOOO...SHINY!"


But .. but it shines!

❤️️💛💚💙💜
Onyx Nyx
Trillium Invariant
Honorable Third Party
#49 - 2013-12-13 18:20:53 UTC
Mizhir wrote:
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Mizhir wrote:
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Having said that, I do love conversations where there is an exchange, intellectual or otherwise, to be had, and as you all probably know from my posting history on Alpheias and Onyx Nyx, I enjoy arguments, debates and even (bad) trolling. For me, forums like these and VOIP lets me actually be social with people who I would otherwise rather not interact with at all.


Don't forget evemailing me a million times when we are both online at the same time and you could just private message me. Oh, yes, you could. I believe you just like seeing the flashy mailbox icon. :)


I second this.

"Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: HEY!"


Well, you both are literally like "OOOOOOO...SHINY!"


But .. but it shines!


Not only does it shine, but it spins!

I kill kittens, and puppies and bunnies. I maim toddlers and teens and then more.

  • Richard (http://www.lfgcomic.com/)
Bischopt
Sebiestor Tribe
Minmatar Republic
#50 - 2013-12-13 19:26:13 UTC
Rain6637 wrote:


to... a few girls in particular, who i sit near (and even ones who are on opposite ends of the classroom from me), over time I've pushed the limits of what I say. incredibly... blatant... come-ons, the more cliche the better, and it's stuff i can't type here.

you're not just denying yourself a good time, you're denying other people from hearing extraordinary things and the experience of something different



The thing is, a lot of introverted people don't really care about hitting on and ******* every other person they meet.
Sure it's fun but you know... it's a hassle and it's quite meaningless.

We'd much rather just meet someone who's really interesting and cool to be with and have an actual relationship with them. At least that's how I feel.

This is gonna sound strange but I've actually not pursued relations with some women just because they've appeared to be shallow. Which is a massive turn-off. And we're talking about women who were interested (on a physical level).
Of course, when I actually meet someone that I like, I get nervous. So everything's fine as long as I don't have an actual romantic interest in the woman I'm talking to. Great.
Victoria Sin
Doomheim
#51 - 2013-12-13 20:12:29 UTC
Bischopt wrote:
And we're talking about women who were interested (on a physical level).


In my experience a relationship based on that kind of interesting has a life-span of approximately 3 weeks (conveniently about the same as a good vacation Lol).
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#52 - 2013-12-13 22:37:52 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Oh boy, my poor ability for making small talk and I are off to the company holiday party. It's a fun event-- for those lucky people who get to sit, drink and joke with the regular office grunts. I have to sit at the "grown ups" table with the company owners/directors. Not a dang thing to say for hours. I just loaded up on info about the upcoming weather forecast, NFL teams standings, and the latest muck on CNN. Small talk ammo for a while maybe at least.
Eurydia Vespasian
Storm Hunters
#53 - 2013-12-13 23:06:50 UTC
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Well, you both are literally like "OOOOOOO...SHINY!"


*stares; too mesmerized to post a refutation to the completely baseless accusation*
Mizhir
Devara Biotech
#54 - 2013-12-14 11:13:08 UTC
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Well, you both are literally like "OOOOOOO...SHINY!"


*stares; too mesmerized to post a refutation to the completely baseless accusation*


IT'S MINE!

*Starts a catfight with Eurydia*

❤️️💛💚💙💜
Dalmont Delantee
Gecko Corp
#55 - 2013-12-14 12:31:29 UTC
Victoria Sin wrote:
I have something called "social anxiety disorder". Before PhD (Psyc) got involved, it used to be called "shyness". These days however, anything that prevents someone having the personality of a talking head on daytime TV is officially a "disorder" and needs treatment.

Anyway because of this I find TS/Vent and so on quite difficult. I use it and listen but rarely talk. People don't like lurkers all that much do they (Spae!). It's very hard to get people to understand this though, especially as it doesn't imply I don't like teamwork or hanging out (I do, just with text chat).

Anyone else have this kind of problem? How do you overcome it in Eve?


I used to have that (Called social phobia in my day) I'm now in Sales and do very well thank you.

Only way to get over it is just DO stuff...force yourself to do it, oh and don't give a damn if you upset people, because thats basically what shyness and similar stuff is, you are scared of bothering people/upsetting people/what you say is going to make you look stupid etc...ignore it. The anxiousness goes away over time.
Onyx Nyx
Trillium Invariant
Honorable Third Party
#56 - 2013-12-14 13:52:33 UTC
Mizhir wrote:
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:
Onyx Nyx wrote:
Well, you both are literally like "OOOOOOO...SHINY!"


*stares; too mesmerized to post a refutation to the completely baseless accusation*


IT'S MINE!

*Starts a catfight with Eurydia*


*Sets up the sun chair to watch*

I kill kittens, and puppies and bunnies. I maim toddlers and teens and then more.

  • Richard (http://www.lfgcomic.com/)
Rain6638
GoonWaffe
Goonswarm Federation
#57 - 2013-12-14 14:51:59 UTC  |  Edited by: Rain6638
have you stopped to consider maybe other people overcome the same aversion to conversation on a continual basis
Bischopt wrote:
stuff

just completely skip the part where I said 'while we're on the topic of love interests' or the preceding post that introduced the topic to this discussion. believe me it's not a big priority in my life either.

[ 2013.06.21 09:52:05 ] (notify) For initiating combat your security status has been adjusted by -0.1337
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