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EVE Jokes

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Starbuck05
Abiding Ormolus
#101 - 2013-12-12 16:37:52 UTC
Nylith Empyreal wrote:
So an Amarr and a Gallentean go out to test their new guns on a set of rats.

Amarr shoots, rat dies, gallentean fires his blasters, "God damnit I missed!" The Amarr looks annoyed but doesn't say anything.

Go to next belt, Amarr shoots, rat dies, gallentean fires his blasters, "God damnit I missed!" The Amarr bursts out, "If you take the lords name again in vain he himself shall smite you!" Gallentean thinks nothing of it.

Go to the last belt, Amarr shoots, rat dies, Gallentean fires his blasters, 'God damnit I missed!" Suddenly a giant portal opens ripping space and time, and BOOM the Amarr instantly dies, and from the portal, "Damnit I missed!"



hahahaha best joke ever!

Just because i am blond does not make me stoopid !
Starbuck05
Abiding Ormolus
#102 - 2013-12-12 17:25:29 UTC
Why did the chicken jumped the gate?

He was tired of beeing a chicken so now he's lemming instead!!



Just because i am blond does not make me stoopid !
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#103 - 2013-12-12 17:39:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Stitcher
q: How many Amarr does it take to change a light bulb?
a: That is a slave's job, not suitable for one of the divine flesh.

q: How many Gallente does it take to change a light bulb?
a: That's what drones are for! I'll have a cocktail, please.

q: How many Caldari does it take to change a light bulb?
a: As many as are specified on page 37 of the corporate facility maintenance manual, section 12 (lighting and electricity), paragraph 4.

q: How many Minmatar does it take to change a light bulb?
a: one. He climbs the ladder, changes the light bulb, climbs down the ladder, and converts the broken bulb into ammunition.

+++

A Caldari man, a Gallentean man, and an Amarrian woman are travelling by InterBus shuttle. Just before they launch, the pilot gets on the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to InterBus flight 122633 to Heydieles. I regret to announce that we are experiencing a minor malfunction in our power systems. This is nothing to be alarmed about, but I should warn you that it will cause the lights to fail whenever we jump through a stargate. We apologise for any distress this may cause."

Sure enough, a few minutes later when the shuttle jumps through a gate, it goes completely black. In the darkness, there is a kissing sound and a "SMACK!" and when the lights come backup, the Gallentean is nursing a bruised jaw. He thinks: "that Caldari scum must have stolen a kiss from the Amarrian in the dark, and she smacked me by mistake! This is awkward... I'll just read my book."

The Amarrian lady thinks: "That Gallentean creep must have tried to kiss me in the dark, got the Caldari instead and got what he deserved! The Lord's justice is swift."

The Caldari thinks: "how long until the next jump? I can't wait to make that kissy noise and punch the frog again!"

+++

q: What do you hang in the front window of a Dominix?
a: a scent tree drone.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders