EVE General Discussion

"Until Internet Spaceships came along, most small gangs used to go around clubbing people with sticks.

Be thankful."

Music that changes based on what you are currently doing in highsec.

Three forum moderators goes into a bar
*snip* If you want to discuss forum moderator procedures mail mods@eve-online.com

Really?

After a hard day at work, a capsuleer decides to hit the bar in his nearest Mission Hub station.

The capsuleer walks up to the bar and orders a Quafe Ultra. He enjoys his beverage while thinking about how many evil rats he's blown up today in his Drake. He finishes his drink and orders another Quafe Ultra. While waiting for his drink to be served by the filthy Minmatar bartender he takes a look around the bar.

In the bar are some locals, some fellow mission runners, traders, a scammer sitting in a dark corner, the ninja salvager who stole his precious wrecks a few days ago, and in the other side of the bar is a capsuleer whose half head is made out of Veldspar.

Although baffled by the appearance of the capsuleer with the Veldspar head, he decides its none of his business and orders another Quafe Ultra. He talks to his fellow mission runners a bit and boasts about the bounty ticks he's gotten when his curiosity gets the best of him and he approaches the capsuleer with half his head made out of Veldspar.

He walks up to the capsuleer and sits down with his Quafe Ultra. "It's probably none of my business, but can you please explain to me why half your head is made out of Veldspar?" he asks the capsuleer. The capsuleer with half his head made out of Veldspar replies: "It's a long story".

"It all started back when I was an explorer just like you. I've traveled through lowsec and nullsec searching for Relic sites and other riches. One time I've gotten attacked by pirates in a gatecamp and ended up barely escaping with my ship in hull to the Great Wildlands. I've traveled weeks through the Great Wildlands, trying to get out. All the exits to highsec were camped and I've been unable to dock, rep up or get away. When I was ready to give up, eject and self destruct my pod I stumbled upon another player on 0 at the sun. This player was a CCP representative named (redacted) in a Sansha Nation Supercarrier. I convoed the pilot and he explained that he was 100 Helium Isotopes short of jumping to his home system in the J7HZ-F region."

"Before I died in the gatecamp and escaped to the Great Wildlands, I've looted some fuel from another player's destroyed Iteron. While I used up or ejected most of my cargo, I still had some Helium Isotopes left. I agreed to give the pilot the Isotopes so he could return home. Going almost mad with joy about the prospect of returning home, the pilot explained to me he was a GM and had the power to make my wildest dreams come true. As a thank for my help he would grant me 3 wishes."

The CCP representative told me: "But be careful what you wish for, you may not like what you get"

"Being just a lowly explorer I didnt have much to wish for. Besides my structural integrity and my trusty salvaging drones I had to think hard what I wished in the vast stretches of New Eden. I decided I might aswel wish big. For my first wish I wished for as many PLEX that would fit in my cargohold, aswel as all the fitted modules on my ship to be replaced with Officer versions."

"The pilot jumpled on his keyboard and viola! A flash appeared on the screen and suddenly my ship was fully officer fitted and my cargohold was full of PLEX!. I was so happy, I've never seen anything like this. In my cargohold was more ISK worth of PLEX than Chribba makes in a decade!"

"The CCP representative asked me about my 2nd wish, and urged me again to carefully consider my wish. I had all the riches in the galaxy, but I was still stuck in the Great Wildlands, gatecamped on all sides, with billions upon billions worth of PLEX in my cargohold, aswel as a set of Estamel's Invuls fitted...."

"For my 2nd wish, I want to be transported to Jita, where I can safely sell some PLEX and fit these officer Invuls to my Drake, maybe even buy a Navy Drake!" "Once again a flash appeared on my screen and BAM! There I was, sitting with my ship in Jita 4-4. In the conversation that was still open, the CCP representative asked me what I would like for my 3rd and final wish."

I replied to him: "I want half my head to be made out of Veldspar"

Reading that, all I can think is "this can't end well..." But I still don't get why he wished for half his head to be made out of Veldspar!!

"Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before a cyno lights up."

Cyvok & 'Steve'

In retrospect, it's a little bit sad, to see how many people believe... no, not believe, know that the phoenix is only a bad joke. A one liner even.

Lets have minute of silence.