Out of Pod Experience

I would recommend the book "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron, especially if you score highly on the test.

I've had plenty of depression, social anxiety, and anxiety in general. This book helped frame things in a very helpful point of view and I highly recommend it to anyone that thinks of themselves as "shy", "introvert", "socially awkward", or feels they are depressed, anxious, or have any other dissociative behavior.

As for not wanting to deal with comms. I get that. Typing text is one thing. You can still "be" your character and you have a protective barrier between other characters and the people behind their screens. Once you get onto voice comms, you suddenly are dealing with people... and for some, that can be difficult to do.

Culture may tell you that there is something wrong with you for "not being social" but there is, in fact, nothing wrong with you at all. Just as a warrior prefers to run head first into battle with little regard, the advisor would prefer to have a well thought out plan to minimize risk or loss. Is either one "wrong" for how they wish to act? No. We need warriors and the bold just as much as the wise advisors who are cautious. They are simply different and just as important to the grand scheme of things.

Thanks for the reference. Added it to my Amazon wish list.

I was recently diagnosed with severe Depression and Anxiety, though i have been dealing with it for years and have only just seen a doctor about it. I am currently seeing a therapist for CBT (Cognetive Behavioural Therapy).

I generally don't speak on Teamspeak unless spoken too, or i have known the person for an extended period of time. That made recruiting for my last corp kinda hard for me, as bringing someone new onto Teamspeak put me back at square one again.

I generally don't talk in private chats if i can help it, its that fear of being one on one with someone. Works the same way on Teamspeak also.

I guess i am lucky that i have such an understanding corp really. The CBT has helped me massively in the past few weeks, I generally don't dwell on the bad stuff going through my head, I just act before i have a chance for that stuff gets to me.

Thats the unfortunate thing about anxiety, its all in your head. Your mind is literally lieing to you and making you believe stuff that isn't actually true.

A few recent revelations i have had;

-It's ok to not agree with somone.
-It's ok for people to be offended, it's not my issue, it's thiers
-People barely even notice that i stumble on words, if at all.
-Most of the time people aren't looking at you when they walk behind you
-People do actually like me as a person
-I use humor as a shield when something makes me nervous/uncomfortable.

This is the reason people with anxiety issue remain quiet, because people who have no idea jump to conclusions then post in threads like this trying to pass the blame off as a disorder.

I've always considered myself an introvert, I do not socialize unless I have a good reason for it. At one point in my life I had to overcome the shyness and I almost did it, I asked my friend (wife now) to go out with me... sort of. I stood there with my sweaty palms, praying to every God to give me strength to say anything, anything at all, and instead I mumbled something that could hardly be considered talking, I believe "ughhhhghhh..." would be a quite close quotation of it.

Finally I looked at her, saw how beautiful she is, and said "d...hhh...mm..ggg..rrr"...
She must have seen my tortures, cause after what was about two minutes for her (a neverending catasrophy for me) she said: "sure we can go out some time".

The point is, when you meet someone wise enough to notice your shyness, speaking comes in time, and till then one can be silent and comfortable with it. I love this feeling when you drive with someone, you do not talk, and you do not feel awkward about it, you are just silent together.

Not sure if it is relevant for the topic, just felt like writing it.

Anyway, I'm sure that if it is something really important and right, either one can find the strenght to overcome the fear, or someone will notice the effort.

P.S. Wife is a big confidence boost.

That's what she said
It was rather pathetic from my perspective.
Oh well, I won and didn't die of a heart attack

I used to think the "we are shaped by what happened when we were kids" thing was a bunch of BS. It is actually very true to the point.

Actually have to disagree on your core statement there.

Regardless of whether you have anxiety the things you think others think about you might all be true
The only important thing is whether you are going to let what others think control your life

I think most people will find that when they stop giving a fleck what others think then they gain the world in respect.

That's not to say that you should always give a **** it is very easy if you have been suffering from social anxiety and shyness and then get over that to actually become total assholes, because all the small jokes and jabs that people (especially guys) do to eachother all the time is a foreign language to you who have been hiding from it. Something to keep in mind softly softly does it.

I can relate a story of a friend of mine that suffered a lot from anxiety and shyness, He was 23 and really wanted a girlfriend as he had never had one. I was never that shy in that respect after I left my teens (when I was extremely shy)

So I took him out to town and we sat and talked and I got some of the girls on the table next to me involved in our conversation and my friend really hit it off with one of them (really cute girl too) They were absorbed in eachother for a good hour or so. Her friends left but she stayed (good damn sign right )

I was a bit bored because well I didn't want to ruin their flow by involving myself and her friends had already left. So I paid a lot of attention to them ( I like studying people anyways)

Then the girl said that she had to go to the toilet for a moment + find her friend but she would come back.
I spoke to my friend and asked him if he liked the girl. He said aye but she was way too hot for him. I told him to stop being a stupid ass and give her the respect of day to let her make that decision rather than him make it for her.

The girl came back and sat down and then her friends came over. She moved across her friends to ensure that she sat close as possible to us. All the time she is staring at my friend inviting him with her body language to come over again.
But my friend he looks every other way, tries to look cool ignoring her. The girl looks real hurt and I kick my friend in the leg under the table and hiss in his ear to stop being such a ******* douche bag and at least say hello to her as she looks near to crying at being ignored so rudely.

Then they all leave the girl looks properly upset she probably wondered all night what was wrong with her to get blanked so badly ( she prob thought my pal had talked to her out of pity in the first place)

My pal he went home whinging that no girl would ever want him and that he was going to cut himself again that night, I told him that his self pitying was ******* pathetic and that in feeling so sorry for himself and focusin on nothing but his own lacking feelings of self worth he had really hurt a girls feelings that night. Which for a fleeting moment actually put a look of glee in his eyes before the self pity returned.

I know that feeling anxiety and overwhelming shyness is a horrible thing I have had those feelings as have almost everyone. Having self insight is a great thing also, but it is a egoistical thing too because when you walk around focusing on nothing but how people perceive you, then your focus is on nothing but yourself.

If you want to grow as a person try to focus on how others might feel instead, not feel about you but about themselves. Once you do that you might realise as you walk around that every sad/angry/whatever face you see isn't responding to you walking past, but actually consumed in their own life and perhaps also thinking that the look on your face is in response to them walking past.

It can give you a extreme feeling of freedom to do that to put all that focus outside yourself, to start seeing other people as something more than vessels that are there to feed or steal your feelings of self worth.

I actually have agoraphobia, been diagnosed by a family doctor, psychologists and psychiatrists... and nurses and doctors... been in hospitals a few times on the psych floor... i have more than just agoraphobia, but that is the "disorder" associated with this thread.

here is what i have on my notepad on my phone ( i txt people i don't ever call anyone ) in case i lose memory or someone asks why i am behaving oddly.

agoraphobia

symptoms
sweating
dry mouth
feeling of choking
discomfort
nausea (feel like vomitting)
dizzyness, light-headed
objects/surroundings feel unreal
fear of losing control, passing out
fear of dying (tunnels, bridges, height, ocean, flight)
numbness

places of avoidance or where i developed panic attacks or had a feeling of discomfort
airplanes, subways (underground), buses, trains, ships, elevators
theaters, cinemas, auditoriums, supermarkets, stadiums, museums
standing in lines
parties, social gatherings, crowds
restaurants, classrooms, offices
driving or riding in a car
walking outside, wide streets, high places, bridges, large rooms, tunnels

when i discovered the internet in 1996 or so, i felt great... because i can communicate with the world through text ( i can't do voice or webcam or i panic ) ... i don't socialize in real life but i don't mind chatting in video games or text... i just can't ever leave the house... pills don't work whatsoever... i failed school because of this, i've had 18 different jobs in 4 year span because of this... now i'm waiting for disability pension, because i just can't function outside of my room...

if anyone can find me a job online like data entry, i would do it... but haven't found any... so yes this is a serious disorder, its not a joke...

even if walmart had 0 people and doors were locked, i would crawl to a corner and eventually curl up into a ball, moving an entire isle covering sight of each side except the one i am facing.