Intergalactic Summit

Dear Pilot,

Honesty is a much more difficult virtue to obtain than we would like to think and it is most certainly not this easily discerned in others.

None of us can reach into the will of another and claim to know the core of motivation. So, my words are not words of judgment, but words of caution to a new pilot.

As the pilot says, violence is his means to an end; the end being “making ISK.” He is concerned that he not begin to “enjoy the killing.” Indulge me for a few minutes to examine this.

First… Generally, we become known by the means we use to achieve whatever ends we value. Now this is true most of the time. Let me illustrate…

If you use the means of a land transport vehicle to deliver goods achieving the end that someone else has them, you are called by the means: “Trucker” or “Delivery man.”
If you use deadly force to defend a country, nation, or sovereignty to the end that that entity is preserved you are often called a “Soldier” or “Home Guard.”
If you teach, train, or mentor in a higher learning setting such that your students become knowledgeable and competent you are called: “Teacher” or “Professor” or “Instructor.”
The person who uses mining, manufacturing, or trading to acquire ISK is called a “miner” or “industrialist” or “trader.”

These and many, many more are examples of how we become called by the means we employ. What do we call someone who kills for money? Who hires out skills of violence to the highest paying company or faction or country? At best we call them “mercenaries.” At worst we call them “killers.” For capsuleers the line between soldier and mercenary is thin and it is usually ISK that triumphs over other values and so breaks the line.

Second… Almost always, we find fulfillment in the achievement and exercise of skill, aptitude and proficiency in the means we use towards the ends we desire. Seldom can we neatly keep a separation between the ends we desire and enjoyment or satisfaction in the means to achieve them. It is highly likely that if you love ISK you will end up loving the means you use to get it. We see this all the time.

We enjoy the “job well done” as much or more than the ISK it brings. Beware pilot! If you kill for ISK you will almost certainly end up enjoying the kill! Honesty isn’t what you say here. Honesty is stopping yourself the very first time you fist pump a hearty “yes!” after a kill. I know of very few capsuleers who once choose to kill who can resist the pleasure, the satisfaction of it. Don’t let anyone here stroke you by calling you honest. No one here knows you well enough to say that. Want to be honest? Start by acknowledging that you will be called by the means you habitually use. Eventually, you will demonstrate your “enjoyment” by the things you choose to do.

Some people say you are what you eat, and they too are wrong.

You can let what you do define you, or you can define what you do.

In EVE honesty defines itself, and hopefully you can define yourself as honest. That is the best pilot to fly with , an honest one. Perhaps you will be a skillful killer/ merc. Perhaps a skillful arms dealer/ builder. If you allow the enjoyment of the means to out weigh the ends, perhaps you'll lose your way.

Be first honest with yourself.

One day you fear the monsters in the dark, then another day you see all the body bags on the docks, the injured, and the dying without feeling and calm repose. I think it's on that day you realize that you're somewhere else now and the rest of humanity is still just right there.

As your lasers shred through the hull of the vessel you targeted and the burning twisting wreckage has both biomass and molten metal spilling into the darkness of space to be flash frozen in the horrific rictus of the painful death you just administered. The baseliners unlucky enough to have worked for your enemy or opponent or simply a target of opportunity will never be going home. You will salvage the wreck, harvest the biomass for whatever isk the market will provide, because you are a capsuleer. A death merchant.

That day you realize you are the monster in the dark.

Oh rise n' shine? Good morning Mr Tasogare!

Take Anatole's advice and take it easy. You'll do just fine.

Welcome to your new career sir. Fly safe ... or irresponsibly, depending on location I guess.

While self-awareness rarely has a negative component, I recommend you find something enjoyable in your work.

Welcome to the less-than-1% elite caste of New Eden, recent Academy graduate and fellow Empyrean!

I felt the same way you did when I first connected to a capsule. Free. Powerful. Demigod-like. Just don't forget the nation that paved the way for you and made you what you are. Learn the ways of the galaxy, young Capsuleer, but remain true to the State that gave you your immortality and the State will remain true to you.

Also, consider that as powerful as you are that you are still an element of a system or another. The plethora of NCP (non-capsuleer personnel) deaths you are responsible for is in no small part yours alone. Many of them would not be dead if it were not ordered from a higher power, or if they had not volunteered to crew warships or live in contested space. Especially for those whom accept crew contracts onboard our very own starships, no doubt viewed as titanium-diborite coffins among the enlisted ring of scuttlebutt.

You have become a Capsuleer, the State made you a Capsuleer to make a difference. I dare say you will.

Not all is tangible. Self worth is important as it moderates how you deal with others and that plays into how fame can be as valuable as fortune and the word of a trustful person holds as much weight as a contract when trading favors in lieu of currency. Sure it may not make a difference on the whole, but maybe it makes a difference to somebody.

As for the OP, we are all mercenaries, merchants of death. That's something we have to live with but if you lack the resolve to keep doing it then you can always retire. Though it may be of only minor solace, at the very least (most of) the people people on those ships are there of their own volition and know the risks, such is the life of a soldier or spacer.

As far as killing becoming enjoyable, I am not sure that possible if you aren't a sociopath, and that sort of person wouldn't ask about it nor be concerned by the prospect. I was a naval officer before becoming a capsuleer, and in my experience it is already easier to fire shipboard guns at a target than it is to pull a trigger and fire a weapon at another human being. In the heat of combat you are concerned with destroying ships with little thought to the fact that action involves killing people. An Unfortunate consequence of this, though, is that destroying ships CAN possibly become enjoyable

I don't think you realize how many people you kill Mr. Yu. A single battleship can have thousands with a baseline crew and I have destroyed countless of them during my time. Its not necessarily that one enjoys killing, even though the justifiable fear is there, but that we do it so long that it doesn't bother us. We're cold and rational monsters doing what we do best.

If it bothers you much then become an industrialist, a market trader, or a miner. Less profit but much safer.