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EVE Jokes

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Icarus Able
Refuse.Resist
#21 - 2013-12-02 15:59:48 UTC
Jasmin Natinde wrote:


Finally he hears the FCs terrified whipser on vent.. "run man, run.. it's an AFK CLOAKER".



I loled.
Jenn aSide
Soul Machines
The Initiative.
#22 - 2013-12-02 16:08:13 UTC  |  Edited by: Jenn aSide
Yo momma so stupid she heard you was flyin a Nightmare and tried to wake you up.

(Thanks, i'll be here all week, try the veal)
NearNihil
Jump Drive Appreciation Society
#23 - 2013-12-02 16:10:52 UTC
So a Gallentean, a Blood Raider and a Jovian walk into a bar...

I forget the rest of the joke but grr Goons.
NEONOVUS
Mindstar Technology
Goonswarm Federation
#24 - 2013-12-02 16:42:33 UTC
NearNihil wrote:
So a Gallentean, a Blood Raider and a Jovian walk into a bar...

I forget the rest of the joke but grr Goons.

The Gallentean asks for a Panfizzle Garglebanger Atomic Fireball.
She wakes up in a new clone the next day in a deep isolation cell administered by The Society of Conscious Thought.
The Blood Raider asks for a Blood Light and is given a Bud Light.
He proceeds to use the bartender to fix the mistake.
The Jovian is never served sinks into depression and dies.
Wyrmlimion
Doomheim
#25 - 2013-12-02 16:48:24 UTC  |  Edited by: Wyrmlimion
What do you call a fleet with mulitple Avatar's?

A Sausage-fest.

How do you describe jumping your Avatar into a system?

Letting your flag fly.
Reaver Glitterstim
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#26 - 2013-12-02 16:52:22 UTC
I hear Caldari's yellow flag with a Scorpion battleship on it, saying "don't warp through me" was the dominant flag before they switched to something with pretty colors and shapes to represent all their districts or something. Morons.

FT Diomedes: "Reaver, sometimes I wonder what you are thinking when you sit down to post."

Frostys Virpio: "We have to give it to him that he does put more effort than the vast majority in his idea but damn does it sometime come out of nowhere."
Abdiel Kavash
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#27 - 2013-12-02 17:26:07 UTC
Read in somebody's bio a long time ago:

"The Amarr pray for power.
The Caldari pray for profits.
The Gallente pray for freedom.
The Minmatar pray that their ships won't fall apart."
NEONOVUS
Mindstar Technology
Goonswarm Federation
#28 - 2013-12-02 17:31:10 UTC
The Cadari do SCIENCE!!! for profit.
The Amarr do SCIENCE!!! because god is dead.
The Gallente do SCIENCE!!! to make pleasure.
The Minmatar don't do SCIENCE!!! They have magic instead.
fatzy pillow
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#29 - 2013-12-02 17:36:23 UTC
EVE trailers - if that's what made you sign up. LOL
Ivan Krividus
Cold Lazarus Inc
The-Expanse
#30 - 2013-12-02 18:49:10 UTC
fatzy pillow wrote:
EVE trailers - if that's what made you sign up. LOL

Op said to keep it revenant. This joke is irrevenant, you vagabond.
Jythier Smith
BGG Wolves
#31 - 2013-12-02 19:43:44 UTC
A deer, a rabbit, and a quail walk up to a goon squad recruitment officer. The deer says, "We'd like to join the goons." The Goon says, "I'm sorry, we don't recruit in game."
Remiel Pollard
Aliastra
Gallente Federation
#32 - 2013-12-02 19:57:31 UTC
Ivan Krividus wrote:
fatzy pillow wrote:
EVE trailers - if that's what made you sign up. LOL

Op said to keep it revenant. This joke is irrevenant, you vagabond.


*relevant. *irrelevant.

One day, when the carebears have their way with CCP and the single-shard dream is no more, creating an account will give you this option first.

Please select your EVE level of difficulty:

Hard
Medium
Easy
Caldari

“Some capsuleers claim that ECM is 'dishonorable' and 'unfair'. Jam those ones first, and kill them last.” - Jirai 'Fatal' Laitanen, Pithum Nullifier Training Manual c. YC104
Khergit Deserters
Crom's Angels
#33 - 2013-12-02 20:36:37 UTC  |  Edited by: Khergit Deserters
Man who fly Incursus in Curse and meet pirates in Curses might... swear.
What?Oops
Sul Glass
Fat Dragon Mining Co.
Darwinism.
#34 - 2013-12-02 20:51:48 UTC
Deep in fleet battle Logi Pilot says to FC:

"Hey FC I just done a stinky silent fart, what should I do?"

FC says "Next time key your mike off."
Ishtanchuk Fazmarai
#35 - 2013-12-02 21:19:29 UTC
A notorious Jita scammer is in his deathbed, slipping in and out of consciousness, when sudenly he awakes and asks the nurse by the bed:
"My... wife... Is she here?"
"Yes, sir, your wife is here"
"My children! Are they here?"
"Yes, mister, your children are here too"
"And my siblings, have they come too?"
"Yes sir, your siblings, and your nephews and everyone you love, they all have gathered here to show you their love"
"Bollocks! If they all are here, then who the fu** is spamming Jita local!?!?"

Roses are red / Violets are blue / I am an Alpha / And so it's you
Solops Crendraven
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#36 - 2013-12-02 21:24:05 UTC  |  Edited by: Solops Crendraven
warning! Heres a dirty one

Why did the raven jump the stargate? to get to the otherside.
why did she go to the otherside? to warp to Jita.
why did she warp to jita? To go to the captain's quarters.
why did she go to the captain's quarters? because thats where all the Cocks camp out.Blink

warning! Spoiler! And for the Mentally impaired if they dont know what a **** is heres the definition ****

Moving To Las Vegas Watch Me Play Poker! enter link description here
Lilliana Stelles
#37 - 2013-12-02 22:01:13 UTC
Minmatar ships are never Destroyed, just turned into smaller Minmatar ships

Not a forum alt. 
Solops Crendraven
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#38 - 2013-12-02 22:06:48 UTC  |  Edited by: Solops Crendraven
Heres another dirty one

Three notorious scammers go to an exotic strip club in some undisclosed location in null sec

One pilot pulls out a 1billion isk bill, licks it and sticks it on a stripper's left butt cheek.

Not to be outdone, the second pilot pulls out a 10 billion isk bill, licks it and sticks it to her right butt cheek.

The third pilot pulls out his Plex card, swipes it down her crack, grabs the 11 billion isk warps out and goes home.

Moving To Las Vegas Watch Me Play Poker! enter link description here
Jythier Smith
BGG Wolves
#39 - 2013-12-03 03:22:43 UTC
Might get in trouble for this...

The CCPs were playing poker.

The hand finished and they were turning their cards.

"I've got a full house," said Fozzie, and reached for the money.

"Not so fast," said Guard. "I've got four of a kind," he said, reaching for the money.

"Not so fast," said Mintchip. "I've got a pair."
Savnire Jacitu
Undead Retirement Crypt
#40 - 2013-12-03 04:10:22 UTC
EVE never dies.