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Amarrian Poet assassinated in Federation space! Spy accusations!
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Muck Raker
Gutter Press
#1 - 2011-11-13 10:05:16 UTC
Amazing news reaches Gutter Press, about an Amarrian poet who was assassinated in a Federation Navy covert operation!

In-Credible!!!

A pilot involved in the operation confessed to their involvement!

"The Federation Navy informed me that this poet was in fact a spy, and that they were to be removed, I was asked to make it look like an act of piracy. Which I did. I left nothing standing."

Gutter Press was given some camera drone footage of this amazing occurrence.

We asked about what sort of proof the Navy had of these spying allegations.

"I don't know what proof they had. Supposedly the man was quite fat, and concealed surveillance devices implanted beneath his skin. Obviously I didn't confirm that myself. I don't really follow Federal politics, I just work here."

Disturbing!!!

"The agent had said that it was also a terrible crime against the arts, and I agree. The example poetry was terrible."

Sen-sational!

Rumours, Wars, Rumours of Wars, Wars of Rumours!
Boadiccea Iceni
Minmatar Nuclear Deconstruction Service
#2 - 2011-11-13 20:28:33 UTC  |  Edited by: Boadiccea Iceni
Find it reasonable to kill poet. Have people put on wheel for less. First pull off skin with spoon and make purse. With implant as lock. Salt him. Citing slaver scum poetry:

Oh slave mine,
get you for a fine,
use you like a cup
until you break I slash
to work you with the lash
until you're used up.

Hop hop crack.

Death too friendly punishment for slaver poet.

Be a Space Hun, it's fun! \o/
Mikkel Lybecker
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#3 - 2011-11-19 22:40:10 UTC
Example poetry please, or this didn't happen.

Also:

There once was a poet from Amarr
Whose poetry made him a great star
Gallente they scrammed him
And then they just jammed him
He should have put points into radar
Leopold Caine
Stillwater Corporation
#4 - 2011-11-19 23:59:57 UTC
I was hoping for mr. Ixiris to lay a first comment... but I guess some heimatar lowsec bar limericks won't kill us as we wait for one though.
No insult intended, that one was rather good. Well, better than one could hear down in Great Wildlands... Although I'd advise picking up a few books regarding gallente electronic warfare doctrine.

  • Leopold Caine, Domination Malakim

Angels are never far...

Stillwater Corporation Recruitment Open - Angel Cartel Bloc
Mikkel Lybecker
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#5 - 2011-11-20 01:18:19 UTC
Fine then. What about:

There was an Amarrian poet
Whose poems, they stunk, don't you know it
His rhymes were so bad
That Gallente were glad
To lock up his ship and then blow it
Mekhana
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#6 - 2011-11-20 01:53:39 UTC
I guess he wasn't a warrior poet after all.

Vide longe er eros di Luminaire VII, uni canse pra krage e determiniex! Sange por Sange! Descanse bravex eros, mie freires. Mortir por vostre Liberete, farmilie, ide e amis. lons Proviste sen mort! Luminaire liber mas! 
Mikkel Lybecker
Native Freshfood
Minmatar Republic
#7 - 2011-11-20 02:00:44 UTC
More like a sorrier poet.

Damn, I'm on fire today.