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Joining "GoonWaffe"

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Laertes Ansari
Perkone
Caldari State
#1 - 2013-10-11 19:37:11 UTC  |  Edited by: Laertes Ansari
Quote:
GSF 2013 Recruitment drive.
From: Mishirosen
Sent: 2013.10.10 23:57
To: JIexa TAHK, Johnny mal'ganis, KavEnMass KouyeALair, Laertes Ansari, Lari Wolf,

Hi there, I am pleased to announce that you have been selected as meeting the criteria for GoonWaffe's 2013 recruitment drive!
This is a rare opportunity that does not come often, so make use of it fast!
If you are interested, simply EVEmail me back with a short message telling me about yourself and what you like to do in EVE. I will get back to you ASAP. If you have friends that also want to join they are hereby invited to contact me for recruitment as well.
Not interested yet? No worries, your name will be put on a whitelist and you can always contact me later if you change your mind.

Who is GoonWaffe?
GoonWaffe is one of EVEs biggest corporations, and the leading corporation of the Goonswarm federation, the most prestigious and influential alliance in the entirety of EVE. We own vast swathes of 0.0 space and have an unparalleled combat and financial record. Normally our recruitment is closed to everyone but people from the somethingawful.com forums and a select few individuals, but we decided that until December 31st 2013 our doors are open to everyone that wishes to join.

I'm not really a fan of PvP, is there a place for me?
Absolutely! Any good miner or manufacturer knows that it is his (or her) work that enables all the ships we field to be built in the first place, and it is the taxes we earn from PvEers that gives our corporation the enormous warchest that it uses to project its power anywhere in the galaxy. We aim to provide a place suitable for all these kinds of people to thrive and become wealthy, and have done so successfully by providing systems free from hostiles and a logistics and market infrastructure to suit your every need for many years now. On top of that there are NO MANDATORY OPS. All participation in corp and alliance events is completely optional.

I am a huge fan of PvP, what is there for me?
There are fleets up nearly 23/7 for every size and type of PvP one can think of, anywhere from 10 to 2000 pilots flying anything from frigates to capital ships. You name it we got it. You will never be required to participate in any fleet you don't want to participate in, and we have a full reimbursement program for every ship you lose in a fleet, so there is no need to be afraid of losing your ISK fighting with us. We also have programs to get pilots into capital ships cheaply and easily if they so desire.


If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask me, there's no such thing as a stupid question.
Thought I read something recently about Goonswarm/GoonWaffe 'purging' people they thought/knew to be scammers so I'm not sure what this is. It's EVE so I assumed 'scam' immediately and my reply e-mail wasn't returned ASAP (unless ASAP now means ~24 hours), as stated in the message. Am I correct in my assumption?

If I ever saw CCP Falcon's character in real life I think I'd politely ask him to kick my ass just so I could brag about it.
Rhatar Khurin
Doomheim
#2 - 2013-10-11 19:38:40 UTC
I have a bad feeling about this......
Kehro Urgus
Dark Nebula Academy
O X I D E
#3 - 2013-10-11 19:39:17 UTC
lol

Yeeee! 
Laertes Ansari
Perkone
Caldari State
#4 - 2013-10-11 19:40:23 UTC
Two comments are all I needed, haha. Thanks, guys.

If I ever saw CCP Falcon's character in real life I think I'd politely ask him to kick my ass just so I could brag about it.
KnowUsByTheDead
Sunlight...Through The Blight.
#5 - 2013-10-11 19:41:55 UTC
::slowclap::

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the comedian is the only thing that makes sense.
Tollen Gallen
Glory of Reprisal Enterprise
#6 - 2013-10-11 19:42:16 UTC
Thread..

Zimmy Zeta - I f*cking love martinis. the original ones, with gin, not that vodka martini crap. Your old Friends can use me for 7 days, free!!!
Jayem See
Perkone
Caldari State
#7 - 2013-10-11 19:43:26 UTC
What a beautifully crafted invitation. They sound like a really solid group.

I would seriously consider the offer. After all, such chances don't come along that often, as he states.

Aaaaaaand relax.
The Spod
Center for Advanced Studies
Gallente Federation
#8 - 2013-10-11 19:43:40 UTC
you can tell player influx is stagnating from this thread becoming less frequent

eve is dying
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#9 - 2013-10-11 19:43:46 UTC

You are not correct. You are very lucky to have received that evemail. Not just anyone gets it. You have been prescreened to be of positive character and potential. However, there are many in the game who seek to wreak havoc on such a venerable corporation such as Goonwaffe. Because of this, they ask for a small deposit of generally 500m isk to prove that you are serious and to ward off scammers, awoxers, and spies. If you behave during your probationary period, you will receive your deposit back plus interest.

Beware of others who have engaged in a smearing campaign against this honored corporation. Much like the recent scandal of Yelp, where tons of fake reviews were put on the interwebs to affect people's decision-making process, enemies of Goonwaffe such as the evil northerners have been systematically trying to ruin the good name of Goonwaffe.

I wish I had received one of those evemails. I am jealous.

Good luck!

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.
Alavaria Fera
GoonWaffe
#10 - 2013-10-11 19:45:36 UTC
Join n3 instead

Triggered by: Wars of Sovless Agression, Bending the Knee, Twisting the Knife, Eating Sov Wheaties, Bombless Bombers, Fizzlesov, Interceptor Fleets, Running Away, GhostTime Vuln, Renters, Bombs, Bubbles ?
KnowUsByTheDead
Sunlight...Through The Blight.
#11 - 2013-10-11 19:46:23 UTC
The Spod wrote:
you can tell player influx is stagnating from this thread becoming less frequent

eve is dying


Well if you are gonna do it....do it right.

Eve is dying.
GrrGoons.
Nerf (insert random object here)
Buff (insert random object here)
GrrCCP.
GrrISD.

/thread

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the comedian is the only thing that makes sense.
beancounter Jaynara
Viziam
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2013-10-11 19:48:30 UTC
Laertes Ansari wrote:
Quote:
GSF 2013 Recruitment drive.
From: Mishirosen
Sent: 2013.10.10 23:57
To: JIexa TAHK, Johnny mal'ganis, KavEnMass KouyeALair, Laertes Ansari, Lari Wolf,

Hi there, I am pleased to announce that you have been selected as meeting the criteria for GoonWaffe's 2013 recruitment drive!
This is a rare opportunity that does not come often, so make use of it fast!
If you are interested, simply EVEmail me back with a short message telling me about yourself and what you like to do in EVE. I will get back to you ASAP. If you have friends that also want to join they are hereby invited to contact me for recruitment as well.
Not interested yet? No worries, your name will be put on a whitelist and you can always contact me later if you change your mind.

Who is GoonWaffe?
GoonWaffe is one of EVEs biggest corporations, and the leading corporation of the Goonswarm federation, the most prestigious and influential alliance in the entirety of EVE. We own vast swathes of 0.0 space and have an unparalleled combat and financial record. Normally our recruitment is closed to everyone but people from the somethingawful.com forums and a select few individuals, but we decided that until December 31st 2013 our doors are open to everyone that wishes to join.

I'm not really a fan of PvP, is there a place for me?
Absolutely! Any good miner or manufacturer knows that it is his (or her) work that enables all the ships we field to be built in the first place, and it is the taxes we earn from PvEers that gives our corporation the enormous warchest that it uses to project its power anywhere in the galaxy. We aim to provide a place suitable for all these kinds of people to thrive and become wealthy, and have done so successfully by providing systems free from hostiles and a logistics and market infrastructure to suit your every need for many years now. On top of that there are NO MANDATORY OPS. All participation in corp and alliance events is completely optional.

I am a huge fan of PvP, what is there for me?
There are fleets up nearly 23/7 for every size and type of PvP one can think of, anywhere from 10 to 2000 pilots flying anything from frigates to capital ships. You name it we got it. You will never be required to participate in any fleet you don't want to participate in, and we have a full reimbursement program for every ship you lose in a fleet, so there is no need to be afraid of losing your ISK fighting with us. We also have programs to get pilots into capital ships cheaply and easily if they so desire.


If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask me, there's no such thing as a stupid question.
Thought I read something recently about Goonswarm/GoonWaffe 'purging' people they thought/knew to be scammers so I'm not sure what this is. It's EVE so I assumed 'scam' immediately and my reply e-mail wasn't returned ASAP (unless ASAP now means ~24 hours), as stated in the message. Am I correct in my assumption?



I am not a recruiter, but I ask that you do not join. We have an amazing ship replacement program, free skills, and all sorts of other goodies. I am going to slap Mishirosen next time I see him for trying to water down all of these benefits by bringing in new recruits. I'd much rather keep the massive isk we have divided by the current alliance population rather than expanding the pool of leeches that get all the valuable free stuff. Again, please delete that evemail and listen to all the idiots in here.

Thanks

Corp Recruitment Specialist- now for hire! For a small fee, I will grow your corp, using all the secrets I have learned in powerful nullsec alliances that they don't want you to know about!  Beware jelly haters who will contact you with vicious lies!  They just want to keep these secrets to themselves!
Johnny Marzetti
Imperial Shipment
Amarr Empire
#13 - 2013-10-11 19:48:49 UTC
I'm a member of GoonWaffe and I'm very happy with my corp.
Rhatar Khurin
Doomheim
#14 - 2013-10-11 19:50:40 UTC
beancounter Jaynara wrote:

I am not a recruiter, but I ask that you do not join.


Eh?
Alavaria Fera
GoonWaffe
#15 - 2013-10-11 19:51:05 UTC
Our killboard stats...

Triggered by: Wars of Sovless Agression, Bending the Knee, Twisting the Knife, Eating Sov Wheaties, Bombless Bombers, Fizzlesov, Interceptor Fleets, Running Away, GhostTime Vuln, Renters, Bombs, Bubbles ?
Captain Tardbar
Deep Core Mining Inc.
Caldari State
#16 - 2013-10-11 19:52:21 UTC
You know you could read their website about how to join if you really wanted to. Its not that hard actually.

Looking to talk on VOIP with other EVE players? Are you new and need help with EVE (welfare) or looking for advice? Looking for adversarial debate with angry people?

Captain Tardbar's Voice Discord Server
Johnny Marzetti
Imperial Shipment
Amarr Empire
#17 - 2013-10-11 19:55:05 UTC
Alavaria Fera wrote:
Our killboard stats...

might improve?
Erotica 1
Krypteia Operations
#18 - 2013-10-11 20:01:55 UTC

If you think they scam recruits, how do you explain that they are the largest corp in the game? Use your head.

See Bio for isk doubling rules. If you didn't read bio, chances are you funded those who did.
Malcolm Shinhwa
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#19 - 2013-10-11 20:06:32 UTC  |  Edited by: Malcolm Shinhwa
I like waffles, but I don't know what tto do while I wait for the waffles.

[i]"The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental[/i]."
Murderphache
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#20 - 2013-10-11 20:11:46 UTC
pssst

It is a scam. Unless you have someone vouching for you, or you are an SA forum member meeting their standards you will not get into goonswarm. Do not give anyone, assets or money to get into any organization.

All the cool kids just wanted to be smug or alt post and go oh yeah totally legit.
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