Out of Pod Experience

Hullo, i thought i would tell you about that body function called sneezing and say to you about its many awesome qualities.

PROS

1: Sneezing makes all the hairs on your body stand on end and you get a wonderful tingling sensation, this alone would be enough for me to proclaim sneezing as amazing.

2: During or slightly after a good sneeze you are granted an opportunity to make the loudest, most silly noise you can think of and no-one will complain or make rude remarks, in fact often people will praise you for it. (see below)

3: Often after sneezing in public you seem to be suddenly venerated like a kind of religious icon, people who have never met you before suddenly start blessing you and giving you praise.

CONS

1: Carrying drinks can be tricky at the best of times, now throw in a good hard sneeze into the mix and suddenly it's like some dastardly gameshow challenge, many beginners will be caught out sending liquid flying.

2: Like above, the enjoyment of sneezing can be ruined by the sudden jerking movements caused by the event leading to one of the most common injuries... Head butting tables, walls, desks. I myself although an experienced sneezer have had my pleasure foiled by cracking my forehead rapidly against my computer desk thoroughly spoiling the fun.

3: Expelling snot whilst sneezing whilst it does not take any enjoyment away from the actual sneeze sensation itself (often it enhances it) It can sometimes cause those around you to react completely the opposite to the previous "PRO 3" scenario, resulting in hurt feelings and potential slipping accidents. Even if you managed to guard passers by from said mucous you are often left with a rather stubborn mess to deal with. This of course can be fixed by using a hanky or piece of tissue, but sneezes can be stealthy and blast out before you are prepared.

I hope you have enjoyed reading my review of one of the body's best functions and afterwards plan to sneeze more often.

Edited to fix minor errors

This is my thread of the day.

A great read.

Curious, i often sneeze in bright conditions, i wonder if i have this glorious blessing as well?

I sneeze after eating bread

I hadn't planned on doing that, as sneezing is my only real true passion.

But that is a very good idea, i would look forward to reading about other less-sneeze orientated bodily functions.

Perhaps someone else with more experience in burping can write the article.

Holding the sneeze whilst sometimes elongating the experience can more often than not backfire leaving you entirely sneeze-less. I would only recommend this practice to advanced sneezers.



This is a rare occurrence, so i thought it best not to include it as to avoid putting of those looking to get more into sneezing.

Thankyou for your input and interest in sternutation

.......and once you reach a certain age, you can do both AND pee at the same time too

I don't think I could. I'd probably shart my pants and throw up in the process.

Why do drugs when you can sneeze?, it's way cheaper and not so addictive.
You can pass drug tests and drive after sneezing, there has yet to be a case where the cops have pulled people over for sneezing and driving.