These forums have been archived and are now read-only.

The new forums are live and can be found at https://forums.eveonline.com/

EVE General Discussion

 
  • Topic is locked indefinitely.
 

The Sacrokrankiliac

First post
Author
Previous Topic Next Topic
Alex Grison
Grison Universal
#1 - 2013-08-16 04:29:13 UTC  |  Edited by: Alex Grison
We have all been podded before. It’s a pain in the ass.

Until you woosh back to life in a fresh clone. But where do the fresh new clones come from?

They all come from the same source. The Sacrokrankiliac

In a wormhole that doesn't exist is a lone facility that has been tasked to grow clones. The facility is run by the Sacrokrankiliac which is technically a large bacteria based life form. It’s intelligence is beyond human cognition.
In this facility are normal looking people, being fed 2,500 calories per day in a highly regimented growth schedule.

These people do not speak, as they are never exposed to language. They are for all intents and purposes, Animals.

They have their biological metrics recorded 5 times a day to check for anomalies. One such anomaly was detected in Unit S-1658975:2154687 It’s blood sugar was consistently higher than the projected normal at this stage in growth.
A large medical arm sprang to life from a seamlessly integrated panel. The arm projected a 3 foot long spike into the chest of S-1658975:2154687 the probe began to emit ultrasonic frequencies which liquefied the internal organs of S-1658975:2154687 This liquid biomass would be reprocessed into the calorie rich nutrition paste that is used to feed the other clones.

The rest of S-1658975:2154687 will be pushed into a large garbage disposal type device that are installed in the corners of every room.
When a batch of clones reach sufficient maturity they are put into a coma and packaged In oxygen rich Aerogel that provides them sufficient oxygen through their skin.
They are then distributed to assorted stations where they will await occupancy.

yes
SmilingVagrant
Doomheim
#2 - 2013-08-16 04:38:08 UTC
i ate a marshmallow peep once, after that i don't really understand why people buy them. its almost like cadburry eggs, it seems like a good idea at the time, but really no, no it isn't.
Lykouleon
Noble Sentiments
Second Empire.
#3 - 2013-08-16 04:49:06 UTC
Soylent green is people. Soylent green is people!

Lykouleon > CYNO ME CLOSER so I can hit them with my sword
ACE McFACE
Federal Navy Academy
Gallente Federation
#4 - 2013-08-16 04:49:19 UTC
SmilingVagrant wrote:
i ate a marshmallow peep once, after that i don't really understand why people buy them. its almost like cadburry eggs, it seems like a good idea at the time, but really no, no it isn't.

Nerf peeps pls

Now, more than ever, we need a dislike button.
Tiberious Thessalonia
True Slave Foundations
#5 - 2013-08-16 04:51:42 UTC
Fun lore fact: The best clones come from dead bodies and are only physically resculpted to look like you.

Less special clones are made from algae and other assorted random biomass.

We are literally "Meat and meat byproducts" on the tin.
Darth Peaches
Imperial Academy
Amarr Empire
#6 - 2013-08-16 06:39:58 UTC
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:
Fun lore fact: The best clones come from dead bodies and are only physically resculpted to look like you.


So if I were to get Chribba's corpse and use it as a clone, would I all of a sudden have an urge to eat veldspar for breakfast?
Sol Kal'orr
The Scope
Gallente Federation
#7 - 2013-08-16 10:47:22 UTC
I knew The Sacrokrankiliac was up to something when my phone rang last night then just hung-up.

But I thought he was in Delve building supers?

Seems he has been tricking us all along. His machinations have made my flesh! My skin creeps. Un-fun, UN-FUN. Time to regroup, no podding now. It's us versus him. Probe his home, kill his crickets, take back our bodies.


BTW the lamp was turned off last night, who did that??
War Kitten
Panda McLegion
#8 - 2013-08-16 11:19:53 UTC
Deep in the heart of the darkest and dustiest dungeon, there lives a creature so hideous and fearsome that no one has ever seen it and lived to tell the tale.

So obviously I can't tell you any more about it either.

The End.

I don't judge people by their race, religion, color, size, age, gender, or ethnicity. I judge them by their grammar, spelling, syntax, punctuation, clarity of expression, and logical consistency.
Unsuccessful At Everything
The Troll Bridge
#9 - 2013-08-16 16:20:55 UTC
I grow all my own clones in my closet with the aid of a grow lamp and a humidifier.

Its a highly efficient process that allows me to harvest about once a month.

Nothing better than a fresh clone, dripping with oil. One that you grew yourself.

Since the cessation of their usefulness is imminent, may I appropriate your belongings?
Tyrendian Biohazard
The Bastards
Sedition.
#10 - 2013-08-16 16:33:58 UTC
Tiberious Thessalonia wrote:
Fun lore fact: The best clones come from dead bodies and are only physically resculpted to look like you.

Less special clones are made from algae and other assorted random biomass.

We are literally "Meat and meat byproducts" on the tin.


Confirming I am a meat popsicle.

Twitch streamer and EVE NT tournament broadcaster.
PantrashMoFo
Bruggen Raiders
#11 - 2013-08-16 17:03:43 UTC
SmilingVagrant wrote:
i ate a marshmallow peep once, after that i don't really understand why people buy them. its almost like cadburry eggs, it seems like a good idea at the time, but really no, no it isn't.


Please tell me you are not badmouthing Cadbury Mini Eggs.

I can live with some of the horrible things that Goons do, such as Burn Jita, Ice Interdiction and generally trying to ruin the game for everyone else, but to in some way pour scorn onto quite possibly the greatest confectionery creation in the known universe would be too much for me to let slide.

Please clarify your statement or offer a full apology or i may be forced to create the eleventy billionth pointless thread calling on all high sec carebears to unite against the evil Goon menace. And we all know you wouldn't want me to do that............
Templar Knightsbane
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#12 - 2013-08-16 17:07:31 UTC
PantrashMoFo wrote:
SmilingVagrant wrote:
i ate a marshmallow peep once, after that i don't really understand why people buy them. its almost like cadburry eggs, it seems like a good idea at the time, but really no, no it isn't.


Please tell me you are not badmouthing Cadbury Mini Eggs.

I can live with some of the horrible things that Goons do, such as Burn Jita, Ice Interdiction and generally trying to ruin the game for everyone else, but to in some way pour scorn onto quite possibly the greatest confectionery creation in the known universe would be too much for me to let slide.

Please clarify your statement or offer a full apology or i may be forced to create the eleventy billionth pointless thread calling on all high sec carebears to unite against the evil Goon menace. And we all know you wouldn't want me to do that............


Im pretty sure its about a Cadburys Creme Egg
PantrashMoFo
Bruggen Raiders
#13 - 2013-08-16 17:16:04 UTC
Templar Knightsbane wrote:
PantrashMoFo wrote:
SmilingVagrant wrote:
i ate a marshmallow peep once, after that i don't really understand why people buy them. its almost like cadburry eggs, it seems like a good idea at the time, but really no, no it isn't.


Please tell me you are not badmouthing Cadbury Mini Eggs.

I can live with some of the horrible things that Goons do, such as Burn Jita, Ice Interdiction and generally trying to ruin the game for everyone else, but to in some way pour scorn onto quite possibly the greatest confectionery creation in the known universe would be too much for me to let slide.

Please clarify your statement or offer a full apology or i may be forced to create the eleventy billionth pointless thread calling on all high sec carebears to unite against the evil Goon menace. And we all know you wouldn't want me to do that............


Im pretty sure its about a Cadburys Creme Egg


Well that i can understand as they make me as sick as a dog.

Carry on about your nefarious business Goons. All carebears can stand down from war prep, the invasion is cancelled.
stoicfaux
#14 - 2013-08-16 17:40:59 UTC
They're not clones. They're your twins. When you "activate" a clone, you destroy (overwrite) the mind of your twin and take over the body.

The real question is whether that qualifies as homicide or suicide?

Pon Farr Memorial: once every 7 years, all the carebears in high-sec must PvP or they will be temp-banned.
ElQuirko
University of Caille
Gallente Federation
#15 - 2013-08-16 19:29:14 UTC
God bless you Alex Grison

Dodixie > Hek
Murk Paradox
Ministry of War
Amarr Empire
#16 - 2013-08-16 20:37:46 UTC
Alex Grison wrote:
We have all been podded before. It’s a pain in the ass.

Until you woosh back to life in a fresh clone. But where do the fresh new clones come from?

They all come from the same source. The Sacrokrankiliac

In a wormhole that doesn't exist is a lone facility that has been tasked to grow clones. The facility is run by the Sacrokrankiliac which is technically a large bacteria based life form. It’s intelligence is beyond human cognition.
In this facility are normal looking people, being fed 2,500 calories per day in a highly regimented growth schedule.

These people do not speak, as they are never exposed to language. They are for all intents and purposes, Animals.

They have their biological metrics recorded 5 times a day to check for anomalies. One such anomaly was detected in Unit S-1658975:2154687 It’s blood sugar was consistently higher than the projected normal at this stage in growth.
A large medical arm sprang to life from a seamlessly integrated panel. The arm projected a 3 foot long spike into the chest of S-1658975:2154687 the probe began to emit ultrasonic frequencies which liquefied the internal organs of S-1658975:2154687 This liquid biomass would be reprocessed into the calorie rich nutrition paste that is used to feed the other clones.

The rest of S-1658975:2154687 will be pushed into a large garbage disposal type device that are installed in the corners of every room.
When a batch of clones reach sufficient maturity they are put into a coma and packaged In oxygen rich Aerogel that provides them sufficient oxygen through their skin.
They are then distributed to assorted stations where they will await occupancy.




Police Officer: Sir, are you classified as human?
Korben Dallas: Negative, I am a meat popsicle.

This post has been signed by Murk Paradox and no other accounts, alternate or otherwise. Any other post claiming to be this holder's is subject to being banned at the discretion of the GM Team as it would violate the TOS in regards to impersonation. Signed, Murk Paradox. In triplicate.
ISD LackOfFaith
ISD Community Communications Liaisons
ISD Alliance
#17 - 2013-08-16 21:08:15 UTC
Clones are built by cloning corporations out of recycled biomass, not by mythical wormhole space bacteria. You can find more info on the lore here.

That said...

Quote:

22. Post constructively.

Negative feedback can be very useful to further improve EVE Online provided that it is presented in a civil and factual manner. All users are encouraged to honestly express their feelings regarding EVE Online and how it can be improved. Posts that are non-constructive, insulting or in breach of the rules will be deleted regardless of how valid the ideas behind them may be. Users are also reminded that posting with a lack of content also constitutes non-constructive posting.

Thread locked.

If you would indeed like to discuss the Sacrokrankiliac conspiracy and dispute the veracity of common knowledge, please re-post this thread to the Intergalactic Summit.

ISD LackOfFaith

Captain

Community Communication Liaisons (CCLs)

Interstellar Services Department

I do not respond to Eve Mail or anything other than the forums.