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First Days as an Immortal
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Osiris Cothica
Chaotic Mercs
#1 - 2013-08-05 06:35:12 UTC
Four days ago, I became a capsuleer. Four days ago, I joined all of you in immortality.

Four days ago, I was scared out of my mind.

I was assured that I wouldn't even notice the transfer, that it would be as quick to me as blinking. But minutes, no, seconds before the process, I was gripped with an intense fear that I would close my eyes and that the rest of my reality would be spent in darkness. I was terrified that the clone that awoke would not be...me. I kept those fears to myself, though. I'd spent too long and too much to abandon my path at the last moment.

Four days now, and I'm still a little scared. I know that this fear will be purged from my mind eventually, that the repeated loss of my body will eventually remove my fear of death.

What did you feel during your last moments as a mortal being? When your mind still inhabited the flesh it was born in, what was it thinking? Were you scared like I was? If not, then what?

We gazed up to the stars and decided that they should belong to us, so we rose up and claimed them. We gazed upon immortality and decided that it should belong to us...so we reached out...and _**took **_it.
Anatole Madullier
Alexylva Paradox
#2 - 2013-08-05 07:34:59 UTC
I can understand the fear. And I think we all have a fear of dying for the first time, transferring to your first clone. Personally my fear was more or less overcome by the adrenaline rush and the excitement. What a rush!

You're now open to a whole host of new ideas, new experiences. All the advice I can give you is open your senses, open your mind and experience them all.

Also, make sure you get out of that egg regularly, I saw you mention in the other thread you were in there for four days. Get out, use your legs, walk and get to know your crew if you have any already. Don't forget who you were before getting sockets drilled into your spine.

If you really want to get a kick out of things, come peek into a wormhole. I promise things won't ever be the same after that.

ॐ
Osiris Cothica
Chaotic Mercs
#3 - 2013-08-05 08:00:17 UTC
On my feet for the first time in four days. Walking through my parent's house. Using my parents computer. Talking to my soon-to-be immortal sister.

It all feels alien already.

We gazed up to the stars and decided that they should belong to us, so we rose up and claimed them. We gazed upon immortality and decided that it should belong to us...so we reached out...and _**took **_it.
Denak Calamari
Incorruptibles
#4 - 2013-08-05 08:27:57 UTC
My first death was a lot more, interesting than a normal, being a clone soldier and all. I was given a gun, and told to shoot myself in the head, that made a scary situation a lot worse. My experiences were largely the same, fear, anxiety, nervousness, and most of all confusion, especially when waking up in a new clone. And unlike a capsuleer, I was put into a stock clone, largely different from my own. It was very confusing taking the first steps and speak for the first time, I felt like I was an observer in another man's body.
Anatole Madullier
Alexylva Paradox
#5 - 2013-08-05 08:28:10 UTC
Try not to let it get to you to much alright? Also feel free to drop me a convo if you get back in your ship and you want to chat to some people.

ॐ
Osiris Cothica
Chaotic Mercs
#6 - 2013-08-05 08:56:14 UTC
Denak Calamari wrote:
My first death was a lot more, interesting than a normal, being a clone soldier and all. I was given a gun, and told to shoot myself in the head, that made a scary situation a lot worse. My experiences were largely the same, fear, anxiety, nervousness, and most of all confusion, especially when waking up in a new clone. And unlike a capsuleer, I was put into a stock clone, largely different from my own. It was very confusing taking the first steps and speak for the first time, I felt like I was an observer in another man's body.

That... sounds exactly like what my sister is about to do. Her clone won't be a copy of her? That might take some getting used to...

We gazed up to the stars and decided that they should belong to us, so we rose up and claimed them. We gazed upon immortality and decided that it should belong to us...so we reached out...and _**took **_it.
Endura Touscoday
Mind and Soul Missions
#7 - 2013-08-05 11:06:20 UTC
Fear is generally a given when transferring to your first clone. You never know just what to expect from the experience or even if you will make it through the process in tact, but fact is immortality will take more of a toll on your mind than the transfer ever will.

To be brutally frank though, once you have lost a few clones you really stop caring. Case in point being two or three clones back i woke up disorientated as per usual, and got into an argument with the clone vat operator over why he (Personally) couldn't replace my jacket...it was a damn fine jacket... needless to say you calm down very quickly, but it goes to show your priority's change rather quickly...

I have nothing exciting or fun to use as a Forum sig... eh, S**t happens...
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#8 - 2013-08-05 14:14:21 UTC  |  Edited by: Stitcher
my first clone transfer was... liberating, I think may be the best word. Yes, I was nervous, but more about the transition to a new life than of anything horrible happening. I knew the statistics.

I also knew that the body I was leaving was a mess. Prosthetic knee, reconstructed face, cybernetic eye, recurring problems from a life time of stress injuries, war wounds and, yes, some alcohol abuse... I was 41 years old, and had to will myself not to move like somebody twice that age.

To go from that to a body in peak physical condition itself was a joy, but the transition also helped me mentally, emotionally. I had a lot of baggage. I shed most of it when I died. Not all of it, but enough to function.

Four days ago, you were reincarnated, Pilot Cothica. As good a man as you may have been before, take the opportunity to be a better one now.

Welcome.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders
Kourdus
State Protectorate
Caldari State
#9 - 2013-08-05 14:19:14 UTC
So let me get this straight, Cothica.

They just...let you go do whatever after your initial cloning?

Man....after my initial cloning, I still had 2 years of Academy.
Andrea Okazon
Laurentson INC
#10 - 2013-08-05 14:22:22 UTC
Welcome, pilot.

If you want my advice? Hold on to that fear, or at least remember it. Most of us take lives -- or take responsibility for lives -- every day that will never get to look back on that fear from the other side.

It is a lesson many of us prefer to ignore.

On the other hand, you are now capable of partying beyond the bonds of human limits.
Trensk Mikakka
Out of Focus
Odin's Call
#11 - 2013-08-05 14:32:18 UTC  |  Edited by: Trensk Mikakka
Heh, the first death is always interesting. I almost died before I became a capsuleer. I used to fly Mantis' (and Dragonflies before that), and I almost got shot down by a capsuleer-flown Archon while working for a capsuleer who flew a Nyx. Fun. Then, I became a capsuleer, and was told to "Quckly, tackle that Chimera!" in a Crow. It's a bit scary knowing you will die, but knowing that dying will just **** you off, it will allow you to do so many more things than you normally would. Being scared is the first step, and a step many have forgotten, including me. Remember it well, but do not let it hold you back.
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#12 - 2013-08-05 14:39:43 UTC
Of course, with the advent of the DUST implant, there's no reason we couldn't outfit fighter pilots with them.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders
Trensk Mikakka
Out of Focus
Odin's Call
#13 - 2013-08-05 14:57:47 UTC
Stitcher wrote:
Of course, with the advent of the DUST implant, there's no reason we couldn't outfit fighter pilots with them.


Yeah, of course, but this was way before that came around. I'm just hoping they actually give it to the fighter and fighter-bomber pilots, I don't see any reason why not. Just gotta hope the politics of it all don't interfere.
Stitcher
School of Applied Knowledge
Caldari State
#14 - 2013-08-05 15:00:40 UTC
what politics? When it comes to nullsec, it's all corporations. Whatever the Empires may feel on the matter - and bear in mind, they were the ones who created and first used the technology, and are actively endorsing its use - the alliances won't care. They'll do whatever's cost-effective for them.

If that turns out to be a pool of DUST-equipped mercenary fighter pilots who'll work for anybody who pays for it, rather than the current system of hiring and training baseliners, they'll do it, and to hell with the politics. They're refreshingly uncomplicated like that.

AKA Hambone

Author of The Deathworlders
Scherezad
Revenent Defence Corperation
Ishuk-Raata Enforcement Directive
#15 - 2013-08-05 15:02:36 UTC
I really do wish that I could remember that. I've got retrograde amnesia and can't for the life of me recall. Thank you very much for the thread, though - seeing everyone reminiscing over those first days makes me smile.
Osiris Cothica
Chaotic Mercs
#16 - 2013-08-05 15:22:26 UTC
Kourdus wrote:
So let me get this straight, Cothica.

They just...let you go do whatever after your initial cloning?

Man....after my initial cloning, I still had 2 years of Academy.

Two years, huh? Glad I got all of that out of the way before the process.

Moving into my fifth day now. Back in my capsule and posting while my computer systems handle the task of mining omber of the silvery variety. I think I'll make a partial list of what I've accomplished, not necessarily in order.

Miner
Manufacturer
Bounty Hunter
Mercenary
Temp Security Guard
Decoy (THAT was fun...)
Delivery Boy

One last thing before I turn my attention back to these space rocks: Does anyone else get that itch in exactly the spot on your back where you can't reach it just before getting back in your capsule?

We gazed up to the stars and decided that they should belong to us, so we rose up and claimed them. We gazed upon immortality and decided that it should belong to us...so we reached out...and _**took **_it.
Osiris Cothica
Chaotic Mercs
#17 - 2013-08-06 23:56:18 UTC
I almost died again today. It seems that pirates won't shoot at our capsules, though. Why?

We gazed up to the stars and decided that they should belong to us, so we rose up and claimed them. We gazed upon immortality and decided that it should belong to us...so we reached out...and _**took **_it.
Alex Etolle
Shadowfire Exploration and Security
#18 - 2013-08-07 23:00:49 UTC
I'm new to the Capsuleer scene as well. I'm definitely not looking forward to my first death, although its more of an I'm not sure how death will feel like than being scared of not waking up in a new clone. i know the stats, i just hope the transition to a new clone won't be too odd. At least I have an eternity to get used to it.