Intergalactic Summit

Most of this audience will not remember me. But I was once the CEO of "The Burning Path", the small but dedicated corporation that was fighting for the Minmatar cause and got involved in the battle against THE NUN (Louella Dougans). Which ended in podding her back to virginity, if you should remember.

The gone war of immortal fame is now followed by one of no less epic battle.

Your Advertise Here has declared war to the Goonswarm Federation.

Well, we did not exactly declare war on them it's more like they invited us in. In fact our small corporation that is since years fighting for virginity declared war on the corporation of Zhek Kromtor and his research corporation of mindless zombies. Zhek Kromtor is known to experiment on True Slave technolgoy for capsuleers and with this is following in the footsteps of Sansha leader Kuvakei. Our righteous attempt to stop the mad scientific experiment by declaring war on his corporation was answered with a surprising step of evasion:

"That's So Raven" (SORAV), the lab-corporation, joined the Goonswarm Federation yesterday.

We now suspect Goonswarm to help develop implants that make mindless zombies out of capsuleers. Well, most of you people now may ask: what's the difference between a mindless zombie and a goonie? Well, not much to be honest. I hope we feel the difference when we shred them. Goons without implants are suspected to talk a lot of wierd stuff on local coms, we assume the chip implants don't have enough core for all the curses and four letter-stuff one would expect.

Fund raising to sustain our war efforts appreciated. We hope local miners and industrialists support our effort. 250 millions a week needed.

We have boosted our roaster of pilots by inviting Gallente miners that have been harassed by Goonswarm over the last weeks due to their attempt to hamper with the local ice mining. It'll be fun! Fun killing! Senseless bloodshed! Mindless wreckage! Yay! Lots o' Goonies!

War is active. May the fighting begin. Goonswarm is the new BoB.

A most interesting tale, comrade. You should repeat it on all comms channels!


However, I do wonder why you are adding pilots to a roaster. Sounds rather painful.

The war is going on.

Today Your Advertise Here can announce that Jaschercis was cleaned from Goonswarm infection. The sting was pulled from the bee by removing the Tower of Shame from occupying Moon 1-1. By this the combat phase by the Ice mining community against the Goon-Terror started.

But first things first. Our small fleet of our Goon Cleanup Squad, consisting of four superior Minmatar Rupture class cruisers and one Minmatar Hound class main damage dealer started to attack the staging Goon tower from which they were launching their attacks on the local Ice Mining community.

We decided to wage this step after our hunting of common systems in hisec space showed no success because no Goon was showing his presence - or kept docked. We know that our battle capabilities are limited, but in hisec it is enough to fiddle with a stick in the ass of the dragon, or in this case stick the stick in the hive of the bees.

When the assault of the Small Caldari Tower started, we first shot off their satellite dish to disrupt their communication ability, means watching Galnet pron. After that we concentrated our fire on their toilet paper cargo space and finally shot down the Quafe bunkers for the demoralizing effect.

The besieged Goons were trying to get us demoralized by playing their anthem against us, but to our luck the vacuum of space doesn't transport sonic waves. So we survived the devastating attempt to destroy us and make our heads explode.

Their POS maintenance guy, Sakharow Sakhin, made a small mistake and suddenly found himself tackled in a pod by our glorious flagship, the Hound class "Pride of Petravore" by second class sergeant Dian Cainte. Shortly after that, he found himself back in his beloved homeland deep in Delve, 58 jumps in Nullsec. Next time we charge for the service. He didn't come back, neither he got our well wishing "Good Fight" for his trip in time before his departure. We are so sorry, chap. Hope you still own Delve.

The reinforce cycle of the tower was put to eight hours which gave us all a cozy night, after that we finished that mark of shame in the skies of Jaschercis, home of the proud Ice miners of blue. The richly dropping modules and stuff from the cargo are financing the next week of war against Goonswarm Federation.

The personal that was escaping the doomed tower was captured and is now in medical care to suffer heavy withdraw from "royal jelly", a vitoc like drug that seems to be used by Goonswarm Federation to keep their crews in line, which leaves them catatonically repeating some phrases about their "motherland" and swinging to and fro doing that. Whatever side effect the drug may have, we assume it is also destroying the auditive and musical center of the brain - the investigation is going on. Because we Minmatar will not allow another Vitoc in New Eden.

Send them "58 jumps back to heaven", we considered to make a song of that.

From the hisec warfront against Goonswarm Federation yours Boadiccea Iceni
patrolling in her Minmatar Rupture class cruiser "Black Pearl"

Goons as mindless zombies? Who'd have thought it...?

Good luck in your war against mindless Goonies and bad anthems!

The war is going on.

yesterday, after the Tower of Shame was obliterated, I wasn't able for active duty. But a comrade of mine got a talk on local with some of the Royal Jelly junkies. Told me that the tower was nothing for them and it is no way that they fly with 200 ships to rescue a small tower in hisec. My comrade answered, "well this policy failed you a tower".

It's not possible for us to bring down the Jellies, of cause. We are just a very small unit. But when more of such units start to operate against them their days in hisec are counted. Just give them no target, keep your fleet small and cheap and worthless and they will start to lose dominance - not just in nulsec but also in hisec. With losing dominance they lose respect. Because the respect they get they force through violence. Not respect. Fear. That's why our small war is more dangerous to them than losing a station system or a gooey moon out there.

Without image they're losing numbers and numbers is all there is about Jellies.

As I suspected. Whatever the swarm does it's doing it in numbers. So if you have a few thousand pilots under your command but there is nothing you can do that not at least is done by fleets of 200+ then the things you can achieve on a day are limited. I know large fleets and the mindless way a soldier has to follow orders. The negligible amount of exposition that he's facing by hiding in numbers.

What is a moon? It has to be protected by thousand of pilots and it's doing not more income a month than a single trader does a day in Jita. It's goo. It's just land, dirt. It's stuff miners care about.

But about their moons is all they boast about. Miners.

How does a bee hive die?

First of all the queen could be killed.
Second often the hive is rotting away through mold or a disease and the bees get infected and die.
Third they get invaded and destroyed by small hit and run units, wasps for example.
Fourth they die of hunger because the swarm doesn't find enough to "eat".

What's the difference between the Jellies and a real swarm?

A real swarm does indeed not everything by swarm. Everybody is working for the swarm but not only with it. Like the Jellies do.

And another thing a Jelly is boasting about is how much they have achieved. My comrade asked what exact did he achieve? And got no other answer but an other unarmed miner biting the dust. It's this corporate identity crap that stinks all around the world. Where people are boasting with things others have done. Like they are boasting with their income while nobody of them is seeing it. It remains corporate money. They stay poor, exploited. Illusion and propaganda.

That's stupid. There is no "we are rich" or "we have done this".

The way the Jellies think and live is not the way a Minmatar warrior lives and thinks. For us only counts what we personally have done and achieved. By deed, not by number. Some things can only be done in numbers. But if it is no great deed it's not worth the numbers. Most things we warriors do are done by ourselves. Like killing a Jelly tower in an absolute minimum amount of ships. With pilots that hardly can fly them. It's the underdog approach. It's fun!

Moons do not make money, my comrade explained to them. The carebears do that feed the fuel and transport off the goo, trade it in the next hub. A moon does not make money. People do. And to shout: "see how our income is, you never can destroy us!" He forgets about the people.

Swarms always do. The man doesn't count. The man isn't one. It's just an other number.

Fighting them is like fighting NPC, mean non-capsuleers, Non Pod Captains. They are not even as smart as that. They suffer swarm dementia. In a swarm the IQ divides through the numbers. Laziness, and Royal Jelly addiction of cause.

You'll break them with small unit tactics.

oh, and one last question: How long did it take you to actually blow the thing up?
Because it looks like it took hours. And with a several hour fight, that's hardly 'hit and run' it's more 'hit, and sit the hell down, get some coffee, put your feet up, watch a movie or two, then come back three hours later and see if the shields have moved.'

This is accurate. In fact, all you've done is given us a good laugh at your expense.

When you destroy one of Goonswarm's Titans in a battle where they weren't expecting to lose it, maybe then I'll be impressed.

Go on, hurry up, hop to it! I'm a busy man.

Are you okay m8?

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